Teens left alone for 8 days straight?

Question

My son seems to think I should trust him while my hubby and I are both gone for 8 days this summer and even though he is a straight a student and never in trouble- isnt that just too much????? Is it even legal to do that? I do trust my son with all my heart but something could happen that even he cant handle ya know?????????? How can I convince him without making him feel like I dont trust him? I thought maybe he could spend it with his best friend and they are ok with it too but he wants to be ON HIS OWN for a whole week and I think its too much too soon! Am I wrong?

Answer 1

You don't mention how old he is but I would say GENERALLY it's not a good idea. A good compromise is let him stay alone but tell him someone will stop to check on him every evening - then get someone to do a quick check in.

Answer 2

If he is 17 or older, and you can have a trusted friend or family member check on him (in person) a couple of times a day, and you have absolutely no reason to suspect he would misbehave, then I think it's fine. I would definitely inform ALL of his closest friend's parents of the absence, as well as a trusted neighbor. I'd also make sure he was totally aware of any and all repercussions he would face should his actions while you're away warrant. Good luck...and I know, it's soooo hard to 'let go'..this is just another step, I'm afraid...it only gets worse! (sorta LOL, sorta serious...) Another thought would be to possibly have a 'younger' (than yourselves) family member stay with him, perhaps an Uncle? That may give him a sense of independence without being left totally to his own devices....good luck!

I owned a home, was working full time, going to school full time, & married when I was 18!

Answer 3

Each state is different but I think its around 12 for only a few hours. I don't agree with leaving a teenager alone for 8 days. Even though he is responsible in his school work being alone takes alot of responsibility and even though your child has been raised well you don't know how some of his friends were raised or what problems they may have and influence your son into. The older they are the more you have to watch them. Especially because of drugs, sex, alcohol. Or even more if the wrong people find out he is alone your house can get broken into. Please don't do that. Make sure a responible family member is there for him. Your vacations won't be much of a vacation with all the worrying.

Answer 4

I think it depends on how old your teen is. If he is over 16 then I think it would be a good test for his responsibility. Have a neighbor check on him ( Without his knowledge ). This would ensure no parties and so on go on. Make him come up with some emergency plans and put them on paper for your review.
If he is under 16 then I think you are just going to have to sit him down and let him know that when he gets a little older he will be able to do this. Part of being a parent is getting used to having your kids mad at you from time to time. Being a straight A student does not make you responsible, nor does it mean that you understand every bad thing that could happen. Never being in trouble is good, but does not mean that you never do anything wrong, just that what you have done has not been noticed. Face it most teenagers drink and do things that most people don't know about. With my kids, I do not worry about what they are going to do, I worry about what one of their friends will talk to them into doing.

Answer 5

I'd come to a compromise with him. I assume his best friend lives nearby -- if his parents agree perhaps both boys can stay at your house for maybe 4 days and then spend the rest of the time at the friend's house.

My parents started leaving me home alone for extended weekends when I was 14 or 15 -- like your son I was always an excellent student and very responsible. While my parents were out of town they would call everyday to check in on me and my Grandma would randomly stop by and call as well. Everything went fine.

I wouldn't be overly worried about an emergency occurring. Your son is bright and I'm sure resourceful -- he'll know who to call if something comes up. Give yourself a piece of mind by leaving him a list of phone numbers of trusted friends, family, and neighbors he can call if he can't reach you.

Answer 6

8 days might be pushing it for the first time if he is staying home alone. Perhaps his best friends parents are willing to take on some of the responsibilty of keeping and eye on your son too then you will have to say it's that or nothing. Tell him it's not that you don't trust him, it's just he lacks in experience...as you say if anything did crop up he couldn't handle. Tell him It will happen sooner or later that he will be left on his own but for the the first time 8 days is too long, perhaps say that when you come back you'll arrange a time for him to have a couple of days on his own to give it a go. PS you didn't say how old he was.

Answer 7

Legally, you can leave the teen alone. I believe in most cases a child over the age of 12 is legally allowed to be at home alone and it not be considered neglect.

Morally, I would not leave any child, regardless of age, at home alone for 8 days. There are far too many things that can go wrong. You are doing the right thing. It's not a matter of trust as much as it's a matter of parental responsibility to ensure that your child is safe.

Answer 8

hahaha...don't even think about it. I was a good student, and so were my friends. We were all very "trustworthy", on our way to college, but whenever my friend's parents went out of town we would have the BIGGEST parties. God, it was so much fun!

You mentioned having his friend stay over with him...big mistake. That's when all the trouble starts. Peer pressure is a mofo, and trust me your son will give in.

I'm sure he's a good kid, but I'm telling you from experience, kids are dumb and they will get themselves into trouble. If you going away for a weekend I could see you letting him stay home, but for 8 days? That's way too much time for him to blow up your house. I could only dream of my friend's parents leaving for 8 days while we were in high school...her house probably would have turned into a night club, or a meth lab!

Answer 9

I was 15 the first time my parent's left me home for a week. I had a job and needed to stay home. Since I didn't drive staying with a friend was out of the question (I lived close to work). A neighbour watched the house and checked in with me every afternoon and again after 9 PM, my parents called every couple of nights. It was no problem, but it really depends on your child. Good luck.

Answer 10

Be honest with him, if he's old enough to want to stay alone then he's certainly old enough to hear you out about your worries.

He may be a kid but it just seems like it'd be better for you both if you explained your worries clearly, maybe he'd feel more like an adult about the situation. Maybe he'd then choose to stay with friends then just to be kind to mom and make her vacation a little easier.

Maybe work a deal, a couple nights home alone and the rest over at the house of a friend or two, at least for sleeping arrangements to ease your worry.

Sound like he's a good kid, just be honest with him.

Answer 11

just because you dont want to leave him alone for a whole week doesnt mean you dont trust him..... i wouldnt even think about it inless he is over 16.... and even if you trust your son.... do you trust his friends?... good kids have many a time been swayed by their friend (ect) to do something not so good.... maybe you can make a compromise with your son... have him stay at his friends house or at least have friends parents aware of the situration and maybe he can stay at home alone or with friend one or two nights out of said week?