How can you convince/help someone realize they need to stop smoking?

Question

Here is the thing my husband is very stuborn. I have tried to tell him strait forward he needs to quit. That was a bad idea. I am getting very concerned about his health not to mention I hate the smoke around me and our kids. Some times he doesn't even seem to care about how I feel on the situation. I have told him to try the patch or gum and he wont even consider it. What should I do? Please help!

Answer 1

You can't. Smoking is an addiction. Like any addition the addict has to decide themselves that it is time to stop. It is your choice on your reaction.

There are actions you can take, but they will put your in conflict or endanger your marraige. If you do not want him smoking around your kids tell him to stop smoking in the house. If he refuses, throw his cigerettes away where ever you find them. Another option is to simply move yourself and your children from the house. These may seem like extreme reations but you have to make him realize you are prepared to make him choose between his family and his addiction.

Answer 2

I know its frustrating, my mother-in-law just passed away from lung cancer and we pleaded and begged her to stop smoking, even bought the patch and she refused to stop smoking until she was diagnosed with lung cancer. By then it was too late. She smoked for over 40 years, its a helluva a habit to break. The person has to want to stop smoking. If not there is no amount of talking that you can do to make them stop, they just get mad at you and block you out. The only thing I would say to him if it was my husband would be "I am just concerned about my health and the kids health would you please not smoke around us, maybe we can make a compromise, I wont bother you about smoking if you promise to smoke only on the front or back porch or basement but not in the area where the kids and I spend most of our time." This might work depending on your husband because some men would feel that you arent going to tell me I cant smoke in my own house etc. But it is worth a try, some husbands may agree and want their kids to be healthy. Also you can give medical facts about smoking around children increasing their chances of developing lung problems, exascerbating asthma, triggering allergies, second hand smoke can also cause lung cancer, etc. Hope this helps. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

As a smoker myself, I know it is EXTREMELY difficult to quit. I have tried many times (cold-turkey, patch, gum, & welbutrin) and had NO success. However, you may want to ask him to please consider the childrens health and yours, if not his own, by smoking outside the house and car. This will help him cut back and you & the kids won't be harmed by the secondhand smoke. The ONLY way he will ever quit is by his own desire to. Unfortunately you have no control over his desires. It may take him years to be motivated to quit. It REALLY is hard to get the "want to" mindset. Good luck :) and remember to be patient. I know that for myself, when someone starts bugging me to quit, it ONLY makes me want them more. It may be that way with him too. Trust me, all us smokers know we shouldn't and we do try off and on to quit. We tell ourselves it's not good for us but, somehow it just doesn't work.

Answer 4

Get your family Doctor to talk to him about the dangers of smoking around his kids..then ask the Doctor to prescribe Chantix a new quit smoking pill that blocks the receptors in the brain from craving nicotine..go to www.chantix.com and read about this..Pfizer Corp. just introduced it..Those I know that are currently taking it swear by it and have quit smoking with no side effects.. You could take him to a Science Museum and see a lung that has been damaged by smoke..it's scary..I saw one at the Museum of Science in Boston, Mass..Good Luck

Answer 5

Smoking is like any addiction, the person has to hit rock bottom or realize it is a problem. Very hard with smokers. You may want to try to make your home a smoke free zone....if he wants to do it he has to do it outside. Same thing with the car and anytime you are the kids are with him. Just tell him flat out if you want to kill yourself fine, but don't shorten the lifespan of me or our kids.

Answer 6

Tell him that if he wants to continue smoking he has to roll his own cigarettes. The act of rolling his own will decrease the amont he smokes, and the tobacco is far less addictive and chemically harmful then the tobacco used in major cigarette brands. Its a good way to taper off, or just to smoke a less harmful cigarette less frequently. Or tell him to smoke a pipe instead. It smells nicer and it is again, used less frequently. If all else fails, start buying him American Spirit cigarettes to replace his favorite brand. Its a much safer and longer burning cigarette.

Answer 7

The old cliche that he has to want to stop smoking himself is sadly true. If he cares about his health and the health of his family he will come round eventually. Tell him how important it is to you and your kids, not just for his sake but for their's as well. Ask him if he wants to see his kids graduate college and meet his grandkids.

Answer 8

for a smoker to quit smoking has to be a personal choice the patch and gum dont always work for everyone

Answer 9

Maybe you should show him some instances where other people especially kids have died from second hand smoke! Let him see that he is potentially killing his family and himself slowly. If that doesn't work just flush his cigarettes down the toilet when he's not looking. (: Good-Luck!

Answer 10

He won't quit until he is ready. Here's what you do - you sit him down and say "Honey, I know you enjoy smoking and that's your decision and I won't bug you anymore about it. But, you need to not do it around me or the kids. We don't like it and it's not fair we should be around it. Deal?"