When is the right age to have a child?

Question

I am 22 years old and living with my boyfriend. We are planning on getting married soon and was wondering when will be the right time to have a child. Before or after the wedding?

Answer 1

Wait a few years. Once you have kids, the marriage is going to be your second-priority in life - for quite some time. You need to take time to make the marriage strong before you have kids. Kids put more pressure on a marriage, so you need a solid foundation first. Parenting is hard work. It's hard enough without finding out the marriage has communication problems while you've got a 2yo stomping her feet and screaming she wants candy for dinner.

Take 3 or 4 years to travel together, or stay up late and watch the sunrise, or just spend the night talking. The magic age these days is 35 when birth-defects become a bigger risk, so you've got time.

Additionally, you'll have more money when you're in your late 20s than you do now. That will make raising children easier. Not easy - but easier.

Answer 2

My opinion is this...
Get married, have a wonderful wedding (doesnt mean it needs to be expensive)
Go on a great Honeymoon just the two of you no baby or baby on the way, it just wont be the same...
Try to experience how it is to be a married couple have engagment parties, have a bridal shower even if you are living together it does not matter, do romantic couple things because after the baby it will be a toddler then it will be a young child then teeenager than young adult so on,so on. after you conceive you will NEVER have privacy... Its not like buying a puppy. you cant ignore it or lock it up at night so it wont bug you... lol....
im a traditional girl and the thought of doing thing traditionally seems like the right choice... Its my way of living my life in order...
after the Wedding and Honeymoon then when you feel financially stable to support a marriage, house, entertaiment, and a child then go for it.. but remember children are constantly growing out of clothes you buy them shoes now and 1/2 monthlater it might not fit them any more same as clothes and style, toys break,kids get sick... they are always going to need soemthing. Its not going to be what you and your man wants anymore its most likely going to be what you can afford.

Answer 3

I don't know what type of life you have or how long have you been with your boyfriend, but I really think you should concentrate more on having a solid base with your partner before getting pregnant, enjoy some time as newlyweds and give yourself some time to really fill into the marriage. You need to first make sure you have a great marriage, before you start a family.
You also need to build a solid financial base, its not easy to rise a baby if you have to quit your job to stay home with your baby and struggle with only your husbands' income just to make ends meet at the end of the month.
There isn't really a right age for that, what you should consider is if its the right moment of your life to have a child. Age is just a number. What you really need to consider is if you are mentally, physically, and financially ready to properly raise a kid.

In my case, I finished college before getting married, my husband and I started saving, we bought a house and started saving again, once we had enough, we decided to have our first child. Thankfully we have it easy enough so I can stay home and be with my sons.

First enjoy your marriage, you will miss those days once you have to wake up every two hours to breast feed.

Answer 4

After - mainly because getting married and having a child near to each other is a lot of stress to put on both yourself and your partner. You both need to be and feel settled in life before even considering having a child. Also, if you have a baby, will you have to move house to cater for this new addition? If you do, thats another major life stress to add on top of everything else.

As for age, my opinion is late twenties (27-29 for first child) so you can live a little first and build up the finances to enable you to have a family. But is also depends on what you want to do with your life. If you feel settled now, are financially sound and both of you feel ready to have a child, why wait until you're 27?

Finally, one thing marriage does show is commitment - you don't want your partner saying "I do" simply because you have a child, you want him to say it because he loves you.

Hope this helps and all turns out right for you and your partner.

Answer 5

Personally, I feel if you are not committed enough to get married you are not committed enough to raise a child together. Marriage is important, no mater what your faith. I personally think couples should wait a few years after they're married before having children. They should get to know one another well enough that their children do not hear their screaming and shouting. You learn and grow with each year of marriage, children should only be a part of the growing, they should not be an added strain, to make complicated matters worse. They say the first few years are the hardest. Be sure you can get through that first.

Answer 6

There's no such thing as a "right age" to have a child. It depends on when the individuals feel when they are ready to become parents. To answer your question, it will make sense to get pregnant after the wedding. Planning a wedding and being pregnant can be stressful.

Answer 7

After the wedding, don't you want to do it right, furthermore, do you want to be a pregnant bride, and there is no right time to have a baby, some adults should not be having babies, it depends on your maturity level, and can you properly care for that child. Babies are a 24/7 job, and need lots of attn. I suggest focusing on each other for a while then have a baby.

Answer 8

Live a little first of all, having a child is a great responsibility. I was married 7 years before I had my first one. He is 7 now and my husband and I have been married 14 years now.

Answer 9

If you're planning to get married soon, wait until afterwards. That way, if you're deciding to change your name (and depending on whose health insurance policy you're going with, and car/house insurance, etc.)--you can have all of that taken care of. That way too, it'll be easier to figure out a last name for your child (you won't have to choose one or the other or hyphenate), and your child can go straight onto a joint health insurance plan.

No matter what you decide, don't wait until you're older than 35--even 36 years. The risk of birth defects increases DRASTICALLY with every year older than 35 that the mother is.

Answer 10

When both people are emotionally and physically mature enough. I want to say also when the housing and financial situation is very stable, but, that sometimes never occurs.

I would definitely say to you after the wedding. Try to fit a wedding gown on a growing belly is tough.