Another question for the christians: Is there any excuse?

Question

My fiance is a religious man. He attends church services every sunday and other events planned by the church. He is clearly a christian and I am very proud of him. It is hard to explain but I can honestly say that he is " the real deal ".

The bible says something about sex before marriage is wrong, and I'm feeling guilty. My question is, we are getting married but is that any excuse? My fiance is a christian but he has allowed us to be sexually active many times. Why do you think he would allow this? Is it ok BECAUSE we are going to get married (in december)?

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

Some people definitely would justify pre-marital sex with someone based on the fact that they intend to eventually marry that person. Certainly this excuse doesn't qualify in God's eyes, but humans can rationalize alot.

What you should keep in mind here is that this isn't something you should feel guilty about. I'm sure you aren't forcing the man to have sex with you against his will. He's a man and he wants sex just like the rest of us do. That's why he's doing it, how he justifies it really doesn't matter.

Answer 2

Your fiancé is a good man, knowing what he can’t avoid and not trying to pretend is a good omen. The both of are guilty according the church but according to God, sex is for a man and a woman, if he is your Adam, you don’t need anybody to come tell you have to live and live right, he is not guilty if he is not seeing any other woman, he is married in the real and what the both of are planning to do December is to make people; friends and church know you have agreed to live together…marriage take place the first place in the soul. And this is the reason why divorce is never approved by God or by nature. The love you share cannot be given to you be the church or any other marriage issue, so go ahead and be faithful to your husband…. I am a devoted Christian as well and I do my things accordingly…no pretence

Answer 3

It is important to understand that even the "real deal" sins and fails to live up to the word and the will and the way of God.

Your husband to be has many other weaknessess when it comes to following the straight and very narrow pathway that has been set out for us.

As Christians, God writes that we must strive to follow him and his way. He knows we will fail and yet we must continue striving to follow his way.

If you are not a Christian is is knowingly failing in the marriage area already and seems that he is going to marry you anyway. This will make his walk even harder and God writes that it will. It is not forbidden to marry you, but the bible does state that he should not marry unequally (faith and belief, not financially).

If you wanted to pick his life apart, you could and would find many more "failures" of his when it comes to following Gods pathway for him.

He is a Christian, not a perfection. If you Love him as he loves you, help him. When you know something is directly against the beliefs that he tries to follow, tell him and then help him not fall into that particular sin.

Answer 4

Because he is a man! He can't hold out as easily as a woman! But seriously, sex before marriage is a sin; so it does not make a difference that you are engaged....maybe you are just so good in bed that he made an exception! Or maybe you should just ask him? I'm sure he won't mind the question....many Christians interpret the bible differently, so it could just be what is denomination says is OK.

Answer 5

Hi, good question, the thing about being a Christian is not as some think a sinless perfect person,and this is often used as a stick to beat Christians with.
a Christian is someone who before they met Christ had no concept of the seriousness of their sins,in accepting Christ however their eyes are opened to see the sin more clearly and have the added ability to ask Jesus for grace to overcome their sins.
with this Christian life comes a measure of responsibility and that is to turn away from sin and disobedience every day,so it is not a sit back and congratulate ourselves mentality but constant battle with our ego that repeatedly tries to turn us back down the road again.
you must not let a comfortable lie replace the truth in yourself for it is this compromise that is the downfall of many of us Christians today and why others who are not Christian can rightly point the finger of accusation our way.
sexual feelings are very powerful and is one of those compromise situations with sin,for the Christian sex before marriage is wrong by God`s law and compromise cannot change this fact, and as Jesus said the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
unfortunately our passions very often overrule our sense of Christian duty and though the choice is at times tough we have to make it regardless of our feelings.
pray that this good man will have the strength to do the right thing by his Christian principles, and God bless you both.

Answer 6

Being Christian does NOT mean being perfect (as many on this forum seem to believe about Christians).

You might be feeling guilty because you know that what you're doing isn't the best you can do morally. You might be feeling guilty because you love and respect your fiance and know that he could be doing better morally.

God alone is the Judge of whether you are right or wrong.

God bless you and best wishes on your upcoming wedding.

Answer 7

I am just like your fiance. I have a boyfriend with whom I have sex with often. I also have a child out of wedlock, but I attend church regularly, I work with the youth ministry, and I used to sing in the choir. I also talk about God openly with anyone. I'm not saying it's okay to have pre-marital sex, because I sometimes feel very guilty, but God knows our hearts, and he also understands that we are human. God knows that we fall into temptation. And though this doesn't justify our actions it also doesn't send us on a first class trip to hell. If you feel bad about it then let your fiance know. Get some clarity from his point of view.

Answer 8

No you should not, me and my boyfriend is getting married soon also. I would be lying if I say it did not happen, but regrettably it did over and over.

We are trying hard not to fall into that situation, but its difficult be cause when you open a door to let sin visit it always want to stay permanently.

It's hard but not impossible, we are occupying ourselves with projects like working on a book, studying the word together visiting a church that has activities pretty much staying away from bed, also fervent prayer is needed.

If by chance you fail and it happens again ask the lord forgiveness and move forward the last thing you want to do is fall into a pool of guilt and get stuck on park, and have the devil use it against you. God be with you. God Bless. Love.

Join him in church.

Answer 9

If you claim to be Christian, then it's still wrong. While it's not unforgivable, and it's not something that'll get you on the express-train to Hell, it's definitely still against all accepted teaching in the Christian Faith. But sin is inevitable. Repentance, forgiveness and "newness of life" require some changes.

Considering the suggestive avatar for your profile? ... the real question is: "If you know it's wrong, why do you continue?" Are you looking for an answer, or rationalization?

Answer 10

All Christians sin. No sin is better than another. So you had sex before marriage and Susie lied. Both of you sinned so both of you are equal. Everyone does something wrong and no one is a saint so don't feel bad. As long as you know you sin and you believe in GOD enough to ask for forgiviness there is no problem. Temptation is hell and GOD knows that. He's understanding. Getting married doesn't smooth the sin out. Its still a sin. He probably allows it because he understands he's not perfect and he understands that GOD see's what he's doing and if he's a believer like u said, GOD forgives...have a nice wedding though!!!