I'm only fifteen, but please listen to my story, befor you blast me for being to young
Here goes....I love her, now please dont say I'm crazy until my story is over..
Over the summer, I liked her. we seemed to talk all the time, and flirt like crazy. well she kinda backed off, and I kinda smothered her a little bit...so I gave it a while and asked her how she felt.....she said she didnt like me like that...but... a month later...she emailed me..and told me that she was really sad..cuz our friendship wastn wat it used to be ( we've been friends since age 7).. I told her it was just hard for me to get over her.....but I was working on it..and things got better, and we seem to be good friends again..but theres one problem..I love her....I just cant get over her.... I mean I want her to be happy, and if she is thats great..but, she's a huge flirt, ..and it just kills me to see her with these other guys all the time....
Additional Details
9 minutes ago
but a couple of things she has said confuse me. when she said she wants our friendship back....she was talking about me moving on and getting a gf......that if I get rejected ..the reason is probably stupid.....and she also said her reason was probably stupid... but the she goes and flirts with these other guys...and I just dont want her to be a **** or sumthing...that would kill me more than anything..I am afraid to get close to anyone else, becuz I'm afraid that this wiill happen again.....and plus..well idk..i love everything about her..her smile, the way she laughs....everything..I know this isnt just another crush..cuz i have had many of those....and this isnt one of those...is there anything i can do?? please help?
2006-11-07 01:40:18 · 23 answers · asked by how many 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you have known her since you were seven, so eight years of friendship is really something to treasure and cherish. you are both growing, meeting different people, but with you, you have settled and satisfied yourself with a friendship that you have known for years. With her, she is still"wandering" around and exploring. This could be her way of learning.
From what you have written, she loves you dearly as a friend. There's nothing wrong with that. There are couples who started out as the best of friends before they realized that they are meant for each other. This could be the situation for you, only that, you have realized it, but she hasn't.
You are still young, and there is no wrong being in love, but as somebody who has been there, i am telling you that it is wiser for you not to trouble yourself too much about it at the moment. you have a life ahead. you have to enjoy being a teen.
As you go along, continue the nice, steady friendship you have with her, but make other friends as well.
I wish there is a happy ending to this story, but only your fate will know that. good luck
2006-11-07 01:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by Busy Diyosa 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes relationships are like going to the library for the first time. You find a good book and you take it home to read. While you're reading it you discover that this book is the absolute greatest book you've ever read in your life. The book has everything you ever needed in a book and it makes your heart jump every time you read a chapter, or even ponder the story contained in the book. The book has some kind of hypnotic spell over you and produces kind of a natural high when you even think about the wonderful story in the book. You love the book so much that you refuse to even think about checking out another book , or even share the book with anyone else. You think that for the rest of your life you will just devote your life to this book and that to show your devotion to the book and how wonderful it makes you feel you will never go to the library again because you now have the greatest book ever written. Would you call this an intelligent, mature choice about a book? Well, your doing the same thing with this relationship. All you have to do is substitute the words girlfriend for book and you'll see how immatue your thoughts and actions are because of your young age. Just think of all the other great books there are in the library and what a sin it would be to only choose one. It's time to grow up and think with your brain and not your emotions. Someday, long into the future, you will look back at this dilema and you will laugh at yourself and how you felt at age 15.
2006-11-07 02:07:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You poor thing, there is no worse feeling then loving someone so deeply and not having the feelings returned. I hate to tell you, but your not too young, nor can you be too old to feel this way. I admire your courage for expressing your feelings to this girl, she has been honest with you about her feelings, and though it didn't work out the way you wanted it too at least you still have her as a friend. When she admitted that she doesn't feel the same way, she wasn't saying that to hurt you, but rather to let you know that she respects your feelings and wants to keep you as her friend. You should try to move on, by pushing her now, after she has told you how she feels, you will ruin your friendship beyond repair. Who knows she might come around, myself and a friend of mine have been dancing circles around each other for almost 8 years, the time just isn't right. If it was meant to be, it would be. You sound like a nice guy, you should go find yourself a nice girl who feels the same way.
2006-11-07 01:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by alysinvunderland 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send this question to her in an email ... It probably won't make any differnce ... but at least then you have done all you can ... then ..
Move on to the next girl ...
when people like me tell you that you are too young ... its because we have all felt the same way that you have ... at ALL ages ... and are more experienced.
what you need to do is stop thinking no one understands ... and have not felt what you are feeling .. we have ... we are just ..older ..wiser ..and maybe over it ... so maybe you should start listening
We also know that you will get over it ... just hurry up ... and don't wallow too much. When a girl tells you to move on ... that should be all you need to get the message ... she sees you as a FRIEND ... not a boyfriend ... I have been there.
There are other girls ... you have to accept that they won't ALL like you the way that you may like them... and some girls may like you that you are not really into ... THATS LIFE ...
She will respect you a lot more if you do go and get a girlfriend.
Dr Bad
(feeling in a very generous mood at the moment)
ps.. by the way .. it may be a bit more than a crush, as you have known her for so long .. but not THAT much more ...and you WILL get over it... eventually .. good luck
2006-11-07 01:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, so you love her. But she doesn't feel the same way. You have to realise this. She loves you as a friend, but nothing more than that. You should try to get over her. As for finding someone else, you really should. Don't be scared of rejection. She rejected you because she didn't want to ruin the friendship it seems as well as for other reasons - like that she doesn't feel the same way about you. Don't live in fear of rejection because then you will never take any chances. I can promise you, there are worse things than being rejected. I know that being rejected by someone you love is hard, but there really are harder things. Getting a girlfriend will strengthen your friendship with your friend and might even spark feelings in her that she never knew that she had before. But don't try to force a relationship when your friend doesn't want one!
2006-11-07 01:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by laislinns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's not sure what she wants. You sound mature for your age and she isn't. She is being 15 & having fun. Don't take it personally when she flirts with other guys, she loves you as her best friend and down the road it may turn into more. For now, try dating around and meeting other people. She says it's what she wants you to do. Maybe when she sees you moving on she will think twice about letting you get away. If not, remain friends if you can. If it's too hard for you tell her so and she will have to make the choice.
2006-11-07 01:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to ask yourself is "Do I really want to lose this friendship?" You shouldn't think there will be something later, cuz usually there isn't. I have been there too, I know how you feel. Can't think about anything else, don't want to make plans in case you miss their call, etc. Trust me, later it doesn't seem to be worth the wait. Just take it one day at a time and continue to be her friend until she decides what she wants. Remember, you ARE young, there will be more love in your life than you can imagine right now. Good luck and keep your guard up.
2006-11-07 01:46:59 · answer #7 · answered by Manna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have several options. 1. You can call her out & tell her you want to know straight up how she feels about you. 2. You can tell her how YOU feel & see if she feels the same. 3. You can pine away for her & never know what could have happened if you chose option 1 or 2...
Life is full of experiences. And I am so happy for you to experience love. It doesn't matter what age you are. Love warms you, makes you happy, and takes you places you only dreamed of going...
Now, it's up to you to take a step toward what you want. Yes, it's scary... And the outcome may not be what you want. But would you rather be kicking yourself in the *** wondering "what if" for years to come? And if it doesn't work out for you, then remember, you experienced one of the best times of your life!
No Risk, No Gain...
2006-11-07 01:49:34 · answer #8 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will say you are young, but I will validate what emotions you are having! This girl has said her feelings toward you are not the same as yours. She is young, a flirt, and is entitled to her own life, you being jealous while being with her will eat you up inside! If you want to continue to be hurt you can choose to hang around with her, but that in my perception is not healthy for you, of course it maybe a good lesson to learn, she has given you a boundary! Fixating on her tells me, there maybe a problem for you in the future that will be overwhelming in relationships. It is a good idea to spend your time doing other things, spending time with a girl that really is interested in you. Do not rush into anything at this point in time you will find it helpful as to why you want someone who made a choice about the relationship.Become a person who can choose to make healthy decisions for yourself. Good Luck!
2006-11-07 02:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by my4dogs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, homey, there is nothing you can do. Your only solution so far is to leave her be and try you hardest to move on. The more you push, the more she'll pull away. It could be the "mixed singals" you're getting is your imagination making small things bigger because of the hope that they really are. You're at a time right now when any little signal she throws out there is your big sign, but in her mind it'll be menial.
Love hurts for you right now - but I swear it gets better.
I'm just sayin....
2006-11-07 01:47:09 · answer #10 · answered by rogerdbnc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋