Is he telling the truth?

Question

i have a friend who is a big girl. she is extremely sweet and i think she is gorgeous. she has a guyfriend that she asked out recently and he said no. she was really hurt and was talking to me about her selfesteem took a blow from it.

i convinced her to ask him why he said no. in their discussion she asked him very bluntly if it was her weight. he said "no, i don't pay much attention to that stuff...i think you are a wonderful friend, i am just not interested. and i know that hurts, but i can't lead you on or anything...what kind of friend would i be if i did that?'

so, my question is, do you think his reply is truthful or you think because she is heavier than him, he is just trying to be nice?

Answer 1

If you are a big girl, it is hard to know weather guys tell you the truth when it come's to stuff like this, it sounds like he is being somewhat honest, and to everyone who said if she don't like it join a gym that is just pathetic, who are you to just pipe up and say oh if you go to the gym and loose weight guys will run after you, loosing weight is hard for some people it's not like you take a tablet and in the morning your better, you have to work at it be in the frame of mind, i think your friend finds it hard hearing the truth no matter what because she is worried that it might be the reason! you can be big and happy you just need to accept your self a little more...

Answer 2

There is no way for us to know. It is also possible that the weight was the reason he wasn't attracted to her, but he wasn't aware of it.

I recently meet two people which I was hoping to start dating. From the pictures and brief online conversations I was sure I would be interested in one and afraid I wouldn't be interested in the other. Turns out my predictions were 180 degs off. G, the one that appeared unattractive in the photo's was vivacious, exciting, and had a lot in common with me. Her partner, M, just didn't push any buttons with me. Don't get me wrong, M is a very beautiful woman, by all accounts - traditionally much more so than G, it's just the chemistry wasn't there. Fortunately she didn't feel much chemistry with me either.

There is also the 'sister factor'. Some women guys meet, just seem to be perfect friends, but seem to fit into the emotional role of sister - someone you like but wouldn't feel comfortable dating. This is no reflection on the woman, just the chemistry between them.

For some guys excess weight can be a turn off, for some it isn't. It rarely is with me.

Answer 3

He maybe lying but it doesn't matter. The fact is he doesn't like your friend, point blank. What you should tell her is that no matter how fat, or ugly, or unwanted she may feel, she is not. You need to tell her that she is beautiful and any guy in their right mind would be crazy not to want her. If weight is an issue for her and she wants to change for herself(not some guy) then as a friend you help her. She doesn't have to be a size to 2 inorder to feel better. But losing 10 pounds may really boost her moral. overall I think that she should go after the guys who are on the bigger side too, who think that being big is sexy. that would seriously boost her confindence up, just knowing that her wieght is not an issue.

Answer 4

She may just not be his girlfriend type but a friend type. Whether he lied or not doesn't matter. What matters is how your friend feels now. I think either way the guy did the right thing because what would have happened if he did say it was her weight? I think you know your friends reaction proabibly would have been heart-braking for you. I am sure she will find someone for her. Sometimes you can over anaylsis a question or response and miss the whole point.

Answer 5

I am a man who has a few female friends. I can't tell you how much I value the friendship of these women, & one or two of them are HOT. I haven't been in the position where one of them wanted to have a date with me, but if that ever happened, I would be very afraid that my friendship with her would be at risk.
It is very likely, that no matter how sexually attracted to her I was, I would choose not to date her because I value her friendship so much.
As I said, one or two of my female friends are pretty hot, but if one of them were to ask me if I found her attractive, I would feel so awkward, I don't know if I could give her an honest answer. I would probably try to take a compromise position & say, "Of course you are beautiful, but I am not attracted to you". I'd be afraid of scaring her off.

People resist change. Your friends guy friend probably values her friendship, & is afraid to do anything that will change that.

Answer 6

Sad to say, but he is probably just trying to save her feelings. If she was thin, I bet his interests would have been peaked!!

Tell your friend to keep her chin up! There are a lot of men out there, and she is too good to waste her time on the ones who can't see past her weight!

Answer 7

that seems like a truth statement, is the guy dating or interested in another persona nd maybe thats the reason why?

Answer 8

Probably a combination of those things you mentioned... but it sounds like he really enjoys her friendship and wants to keep it... She's just not his type romantically...

Answer 9

the guy said the truth... why do us girls always look for a way to hurt ourselves????

if he said weight was no issue then it wasn't...
move on

Answer 10

of course he lied....it's totally because she's a fattie and she should take a blow to her self esteem. perhaps now she'll quit being such a pig.

think about it, do you think he'd turn her away if she was a hottie? not a chance.