Question for Christians - legitimate or illegitimate?

Question

My father and mother dated in their early 20s. My mother broke things off because she didn't feel my father loved her. My father rebounded and married someone else. The marriage only lasted a few years, no children resulted, and my father's ex-wife nearly ruined him financially. He returned to my mother, said she was right and he hadn't shown her that he loved her, and eventually they married and had my sister, my brother and me. They have been married nearly 35 years.

My question to Christians is this: because my father was married and divorced before he married my mother, would you consider their marriage "valid" in the eyes of God and would my siblings and I be legitimate or illegitimate? Both of my parents are Christians, and my mother was a church secretary for two decades. I'm very curious on what the response will be, based on other responses I've seen.

Gary F - It doesn't matter to me what anyone says. I'm asking because I've read a lot of responses under other questions - and this one as well - that indicate any second marriage is invalid before God and I'd like to know why/how people can believe that. I'm merely curious as to what other people believe. I would say that you are the juvenile one to answer my question so rudely.

To the rest - my parents were married in a Christian church. My father is a Baptist, my mother United Methodist. I will point out to anyone who wants to whip out Bible verses that my uncle - my mother's brother - is a minister, so I'd like to see more than one eample of my father "committing adultery" if you truly feel my parents' marriage is invalid.

And I have to add to those of you who have answered out of "true Christian feeling" and not just quoting Bible versus, thank you for your warmth and honesty.

Answer 1

Legit, no question.
Even though God hates divorce (actually the cause of it), It was God who instituted divorce. By the term 'divorce' I mean the legal end of a marriage by an act of law-not just a separation.
I believe the first mention (without looking it up) of divorce in the Bible is in Deuteronomy 24. Without going into too much detail, the requirement God puts on the divorce is that you "...write her a certificate of divorce and put it in her hand...". Basically that means if you are going to get a divorce -you must make it legal.

Now, some denominations like the Catholic church (there may be others) do not recognize a legal divorce for any reason for their members. However they do recognize a process in the church call an 'annulment'. This means that your marriage was erased, it is as though it never happened.

Your father made a mistake in the past. If he repented, and made his divorce legal, then God does not even remember it. And, he certainly does not hold you and your siblings responsible. That's is what the Bible says. Different religions make up their own rules. But God is clear where he stands. You are not guilty in His eyes. And really, that's all that counts.
Have a good day.

Answer 2

The issue has alot to do with the reasons the your Father's first marriage ended - which you don't fully state.
Read 1 Corinthians Chapter 7, those are the reasons for ending a marriage that God gives.
Your Father was married, and did so with vows before God I assume.
However - it sounds as if God has blessed the marriage with your Mother greatly... I would not consider yourself or your siblings any less because of these circumstances.
You need to consult someone other than Yahoo! Answers for this - find a good church with someone you trust and talk to them about it.

Answer 3

It doesn't matter if you're legitimate or illegitimate. That's really not an issue. Loving God is what's important. Christians aren't supposed to dwell on the past. That's the point of forgiveness through Jesus Christ. The past no longer matters.

Love is what's important. Your parents love one another. They love you and your siblings. You should love God, He loves you. He loves all of us. A lot of people miss that point.

A lot of Christians get caught up in this idea of marriages being valid and who should be allowed to marry. Jesus never really made a big deal out of that. He even implied that anyone you've ever slept with was considered your spouse, but He never condemned anyone for it. Many Christians have just chosen to make marriage a bigger issue than it really is. It's sad really.

God bless you for a mature, honest question. Thanks for sharing such a private thing.

Answer 4

The question of "legitimacy" has gone the way of the buggy whip. My original birth certificate, issued by Cook County [Chicago] had a box where "legitimate" could be checked, but the machine-printed versions now being issued no longer have this. Your father's first marriage was, while it lasted, valid; his present marriage is valid also. Rejoice in having a good family, and don't be concerned with irrelevancies such as Christianity.

Answer 5

There is no such thing as an illegitimate child. It is the parents that are illegitimate if anyone is - the child is innocent of any wrongdoing and should never be labeled for the parents mistakes. However, I am not saying your parents are "illegitimate" or that their marriage is not "valid." I do not believe it is for me to judge that even though I do not believe in divorce except in the case of adultery.

Answer 6

Oh yes ! In this circumstance, I believe your Parents Marriage is Valid in the eyes of God. You and your Siblings are very Legitimate.

Answer 7

Thiis one is not a simple question and I will try to explain why. Whether your parents marriage is valid to God is based on how God viewed the previous divorce. Was their adultry? We just cant leave a mate because we dont like cerain behaviour. Marriage is a lifetime thing. Its how God designed it, even tho that is not a popular belief. I know adultry is the only way out of marriage according to God. Yet, I hav done some study on this. The word adultry didnt used to just refer to sex outside of marriage. The word they used back then was used to describe, when a person stops being the mate they promised to be that God tells them to be. SO, if a man is say beating you, many in church would say thats not grounds for divorce, only adultry But, when you ralize that adultry isnt just sexual, that ismeans departing from how God wants it, it changes things. When that person will not love you and treat you as God says, that is true adultry. So, if your father divorced after trying to be the husband God called him to be, and she wouldnt do her part as a wife as God explains how to do it, then your dad would have grounds for divorce that were ok with God. and, the new marriage would be excepted by God. But, if your dad just didnt try and ran out on her, he would need to seriously repent of what he did, and go to the ex and apoloigze and ask for forgivenss, and ask God for forgivenss before the new marriage would be acceptable to GOD.
As to the children being legitimate or not, this is one I just hate. Because all children are legitimate to God. they have no say on how or where they were born, and are just innocent kids, and should be treated as such. You have nothing to feel bad about or apologize for. You are very legitimate to God, no matter what.
Sounds like your parents now have a great marriage, and that is good. God is blessing them, which tells me your dad may be ok in the eys of God. When God is not thrilled with things, He doesnt bless it.
so, just be sure your dad knows he did what God called him to do to do his part, and that he is ok with God.
It sounds like you have abeautiful Christian home, and God is blessing you too. For others that attempt to judge you and call you names as illigitimate, dont hear it. thats judging, and you dont have to recive it. Just do what you can for God and stay in obedience, and all will be great for you. Only your dad has to ask God if He did it all right. Thats not even your concern. PPL must own up to what they do, and never expect thekids to do it. Just go talk to your dad, if he is Christian, he will listen. Share your concerns, talk, pray together, and ask God. Then, you will KNOW. God belss you. full gospel shirley

Answer 8

the only ground for divorce scripturally is adultery
I understand where you are coming from but what does it matter your parents have enjoyed a happy marriage and have 3 children to call it a success, if your fathers previous wife has remarried then yes it is legitimate before God

Answer 9

It all depends on the denomination of Christianity you belong to. Catholics believe you are married for life. Others accept divorce. The final word is what you believe. In my opinion you exist therefore you are legitimate. It doesn't matter what some guy in a dress thinks.

Answer 10

Were your parents married in a church before God? If so, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and say it's legitimate. However, only their relationship with God can make it so.