I found out something very bad about my sister's fiance......should I tell her?

Question

Last week I saw a post on here where a woman was talking about hiring a private eye to investigate her daughters boyfriend. Somebody mention the link http://background-records.net/ as a good place to find info online. Well I checked out the site and entered my sisters boyfriends name and found out that he was convicted of armed robbery in 1999. I know this is him because the name, date of birth, and address are all the same. I am sure my sister or my dad doesn't know.......should I tell my sister or our dad? I don't know how to handle this situation.

Answer 1

If you love her you will tell her. She could be in great danger.

Answer 2

I'd make absolutly sure that it is him, if it states the state of the conviction, you can find out for sure by contacting the local courthouse to make sure. After that if this is the same guy, then I would start the telling process.
First of all talk to your sister first because she may already know, and just not her telling family members, for fear of disapproval.
If she don't know, then there maybe a fight over you not trusting her judgement, and checking out the guy, or she maybe happy you did look him up. Be prepared either way. If she still insists on the wedding after knowing then I would talk to your parents about it and let them know and they may be able to talk some sence into her.

Answer 3

Not everyone has a squeaky clean past and this was 1999. We all do some stupid stuff when were young, Well maybe not as crazy as that but i would tell him that i know about it and give him the chance to tell her about it assuring him if he didn't then i would tell her. Tell him the choice is his but she's gonna know one way or the other. Because even though it's been a long time ago when your talking marriage all things should really be on the table. that way when it comes out at family gatherings it wouldn't be a shock to anyone.

Answer 4

You have a responsibility to her, after all she is your sister and you have to tell her, but be prepared for any kind of reaction because she might already know, and not have told anyone or she might not believe you and get angry at you. I don't think you should tell your dad before you tell her because you should give her time to handle the situation in a way that she thinks is best without parental interference.

Answer 5

Wow... this must be quite a dilemma for you. Well... I know that if one of my sisters came across something like this, I would want them to tell me.

I think perhaps you should take your sister aside when you have the chance to show her exactly what you saw on-line. Tell her that you felt she had a right to know since this is the person she intends on spending the rest of her life with. It may not change her choice to marry him, but either way, she should know.

When you're breaking the news to her, do your best not to have an attitude of pointing the finger at him like, "look at what he did!"...
Have an attitude more along the lines of, "... I think you should see something I found on-line that concerns ((insert his name here))..."

Answer 6

I think you have to as long as you are absolutely sure it is him. Put yourself in your sister's shoes. Would you want somebody to tell you before you made a lifelong commitment to somebody like this? You may want to tell Dad first and then ask Dad to come along with you for moral support in what will turn into an awful situation. But yes, I do think you have an obligation here to tell her.

Answer 7

I would tell her. If he hasn't told her then what else isn't he being honest about. I would approach it in a light manner, maybe say I was just goofing around on this site and entering people's names that I know and something popped up about your fiance. Then ask if she knew. She may know and didn't tell the family because it is in the past and didn't want the family to overreact. Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm gunna shot this one from the hip,pardon the pun, ha ha ha...

Who cares if he was convicted of armed robbery? is it any of your business? Nope it an't..... he's done the crime,paid his time,now leave it alone. It's not up to you to go behind anothers back like a sneek! shame on you!

ok I just had a look at that site typed in my own name,it came up that it had something in it's system but would not state what until I paid the 40$ so you must have paid the money in order to see if he had anything.....hummmmm you really should be ashamed of your self! If I was that guy or your sister I would never talk to you again,man your one big Nosey Nora arn't you!

Answer 9

Yes tell her but more than likely she will still stay with him love is blind. So don't be to pussy when you let her know just tell her you wanted to inform her before she got married. Also if he's a changed man then there shouldn't be a problem that was 7 years ago and people can change.

Answer 10

I would ask your sister out to lunch or something, bring a copy of the report and discuss it with her. If he is not being honest with her then she needs to know because if he is hiding this what else could he be hiding? She is your sister and you know her best, weather she chooses to listen to your warning or not she still should be told. I would not tell your dad. This is between the two of you. Leave it up to her to tell Dad...it should be her choice as to weather or not he knows.

Answer 11

Chances are he might not have kept something like that from your sister. They may just be keeping it quiet from your other family so that no one worries etc. If you really think that your sister might be in danger, then I would take the information to your father. If he thinks it is something that should be looked in to, then I'm sure he will confront your sister about it.