My sister's fiance is a criminal.......should I tell her?

Question

Last week I saw a post on here where a woman was talking about hiring a private eye to investigate her daughters boyfriend. Somebody mention the link http://background-records.net/ as a good place to find info online. Well I checked out the site and entered my sisters boyfriends name and found out that he was convicted of armed robbery in 1999. I know this is him because the name, date of birth, and address are all the same. I am sure my sister or my dad doesn't know.......should I tell my sister or our dad? I don't know how to handle this situation.

Answer 1

I would say Yes. My husband has a criminal history from when he was a teenager....and unfortunately he is still paying for it. This is NOT something he should be hiding from her.

My husband, when we were dating, was totally upfront and honest about this. It helped me prepare myself on what I was getting into and to fully understand what the issues were. And all of his information was confirmed and he was not lying.

If this boyfriend is on Parole, she has the right to know for MANY reasons, especially if he is asking for money all the time, now she may know why! She needs to know so "her decision is not made for her". If someone didn't tell me something, I would feel they took my right to make up my mind from me. I want to choose for myself if I want to be with a man who is on parole and I would want to know WHY!

Also this is PUBLIC information and she can research the information as well. If she gets upset, tell her to put the emotions where it belongs, on the boyfriend. This is totally different than gossip!

Answer 2

Well, it was a while ago and you do not the situation. Anything could have happened, you shouldn't assume things. You should confront him before saying anything to your sister or your dad. Give him a chance to explain himself. I've known many people that have been convicted of something they didn't do, it was just a matter of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Armed robbery is serious and you are right being concerned for your sister but I think you should speak to him first just so you know both sides.

Answer 3

This is really sensitive

You love your sis and u dont want her to end up with a monster

She might take it really hot,wont believe you and you'll end up being the monster

Let's try something,dont talk to her about it,just find a way of showing her the website which is your source

Daddy should be easier to convince than sis,so i think u should try to show him this website
If you are sure of what you know u should then tell it in style

You might make her feel that u are checking it for the first time
making her feel that u are doing somthing else

then put in names of people u both know
probably,a famous criminal's name...
your name,then u both laugh
daddy's name
your ex's name
her name
then her fiance's name

prob u should act like u are just seeing it
so experience the shock together

or probably play along with what she displays

let's try that

Hope it work

alternatively,do what gail.w said
most importantly help ur sis

Answer 4

How old is your sister? Over 21? I would tell your dad and print out the info and talk to him about it.

Is he out on parole? Is there any other information available? Try looking online in newspaper archives and see if you can find out anything else. Did he plea bargain his sentence?

It will help if you know as much as possible about this. Mistakes can happen and online material is not always correct.

Then you (or Dad) need to talk to her to find out what she knows/doesn't know. The guy could be making a new, law-abiding life for himself which is to be commended. But she should also be aware in case he starts to act shifty.

This guy may also be perfectly wonderful but he may have some ex-friends who could turn up and make life uncomfortable.

Find out what you can and tell her if she is over 21. If she is under 21, grab Dad, show him the papers and have a chat with sis asap.

Answer 5

Personally I dont see the matter of any od your dads business, I would talk to your sisters bf and let him know if he doesnt tell her you will and tell him how important it is for him to be honest and that he needs to get the weight off his shoulders and since its been a long time she might be upset about not knowing but it might make their relationship stronger.

Answer 6

Don't make yourself into the bad guy - don't TELL her or your Dad anything...ASK.

Ask your sister if she knows - for all you know, she might already know this and be OK with it. If she doesn't, don't dish the dirt - just tell her to find out, just like you did and explain that you found out what you know by accident.

It WAS an accident, right..?

Answer 7

go ahead and tell what are you waiting for it is matter of her life .it is like you are going some where and ahead there is a well ,will you jump in the well or chaange your route so that you do not fall in the well so pl do not delay tell your dad then he can talk over to your sis .i bet she will appreciate your gesture

Answer 8

Look i would love to tell them but i guarantee if you do ,somehow this wll be turned against you. If he is treating her with respect and is good to her ,then let sleeping dogs lie ,just leave it.Might not be easy,but everyone stuffs up in their life sometime

Answer 9

I think you should tell her what u found and try to lay it on her easy cause she probally won't believe u at first. But, show her the picture and then both of you tell your dad about what u found and what u think u should do about him. Then try the police.

Answer 10

well,theres nothing to be confused about,just go ahead n tell her n your dad for them to review the decision after all its the matter of your sisters entire future n life!!good luck!!