How can I deal with my jealous nature?

Question

I have dated my boyfriend for more than a year, and he is one of the most trustworthy men around. He doesn't check out other girls, and is completely focused on the few things that are important to him (i.e. his work, me, football, Steelers, his guy friends, etc). Since he's like this, he has spoiled my already-possessive, controlling nature. Whenever he talks more than 5 minutes to a girl, I get jealous. He's taking a class at the gym that one of my girl friends is also taking, and always tells me how good she is at it, and how he was surprised to see that she was so good, etc etc... I feel like that girl friend has some interest in him, but she is suppressing it because I'm with him. I'm just afraid my sweet boyfriend will fall into women's snares like that... Or even, just the thought of him paying attn to someone else, complimenting someone else, etc, seriously disrupts my mood. Why am I so jealous?! PLEASE help... this is an awful problem and I can't stop thinking about it... !!

Answer 1

all the energy you put in focusing on what could happen you should put into thinking about all the good qualities about your b/f, I know it's hard, believe me, it's harder when a friend has ACTUALLY betrayed you before, I think you need to take it one step at a time, it looks like you can talk to your boyfriend, tell him how you feel and maybe he can have a part in keeping your jealousy under control

Answer 2

You need to wake up this is the real world you will talk to other people other than the person you are with. You need to get some help before for jealousy gets out of hand. He is talking about your friend being good in a subject and you are seeing it as a bad thing. There are other people in his class and he has to have conversations dont spend your time worrying if he is talking to another girl use your time enjoying this wonderful guy. You dont want to lose him because you cant trust yourself you already said he can be trusted.

Answer 3

You have two options: 1). Trust the boyfriend will keep sharing his experiences and thoughts about class and the girl(s) in it. He may be sharing this to engage you in conversation about your friend, and how close a friendship you have with her. He may want to get you to shed some light on those female snares to watch out for. He may be sharing this to see how interested you are in him and what he does. If you show no interest, or too much interest (where you been, who with, doing what kind of overkill) could act as a warning to start looking for someone who will pay some attention (or be less parental). 2). You could join the class, or get him to take one with you. This gives you both the opportunity of sharing an activity while interacting with others engaged in the same interest/activity.

Answer 4

Chanel your energies into loving yourself and occupy your mind. I used to have problems with jealousy and I over came it by complimenting the same women my boyfriend did. I would join the gym and become good friends with the girls. Once that happens you will not only feel physically great but you will learn to trust humanity. The girls will love you and the guys will be jealous of your boyfriend. Sweet huh!!!

Answer 5

Only you can decide,but you can also ironically try,(not saying you should get back at him) having conversation with other people(guys),as an experiment to have a social conversation,to help you relax or just go out with your girl friends,share your emotions for advice with both sex(not saying also to tell everyone) but sometimes instead of keeping it all on the inside it is good to talk about it,so as to get over it.

You can also tell him how you feel in a very relax conversation,for letting him know how you feel will give him a chance to know what is happening.but try not to preoccupy your self with too much of the green monster,OK just talk it out.hope this will help.

Answer 6

Jealousy can be brought on by feelings of insecurities, low self esteem, low confidence...but your boyfriend is an individual...you cannot keep tight ranes on him....ever heard the saying "i know why the cage bird sings"....you cannot keep him away from other people including females you will only eventually drive him away yourself you will lose him if you carry on this way with your jealousy...and to think about all this energy wasted for what?......i truly think you should talk to someone about this jealousy before it gets out of control, it's quite scary.

Answer 7

You may have a low self esteem. I used to be so jealous of girls my hubby used to check out. Until I got tired of worrying and now we even joke about it. But you're probably thinking I'm missing the whole point about how you should over-come this feeling.
But you're wrong you need to see good things about yourself, if you can trust him you obviously need a positive outlook on yourself. Show yourself that you're better than them hon.

Answer 8

Sweetie, tell urself that u r the best .. Jealous can cause ur bf to cheat coz u will be showing him that u donn trust him .. the bottom line is U r the best for ur bf n that he luvs u , thatz y u r together...gud luck

Answer 9

Get control of yourself! You are going to push him away if you keep acting like that towards him. Are you self conscious or do you have issues with your own self esteem? If you were confident in who you are and in your relationship with him, you wouldn't get upset over every little thing.

Answer 10

Well if he has never given you reason not to trust him, then you have to trust him-period. Jealousy usually comes from self esteem issues within yourself. Get help if you can't control it or you will never have a happy relationship.