Advise needed?

Question

I have a situation and I am wondering if anyone can help. I have a 9 year old boy. My son lived with my for the first 5 years of his life. His father and I separated when he was 10 months old. His father wanted nothing to do with him during that time. I meet a very sweet and loving muslim guy and we start dating. I move to a city about 1 1/2 hours away. All of a sudden my son's father wants to take him for his weekend. Everything is fine, he brings my son home. 2 weeks later he picks him up again. Only this time he calls me on Sunday and says he's not bringing my son home and he's already enrolled him in school. About 1 year after that they disappear. I finally find them 5 years later and now the father is a coke head. Do I call social services to have my son removed or do I try to get the money together for a lawyer and cousilling for my son for the nest 15 years? I want whats best for my son. Please help.

Answer 1

First I would contact a Social worker to see what they advise. Also some places have a
legal aid LAWYER who seldom charge a fee
and if they do it would be based on your income. The legal aspect of this probally would
be up to your seperation if you are not divorced.
If the Father is a coke head and you can prove this I think your chances are very good. Contact
your local Law Enforcement also. I hope this is of help.

Answer 2

IF your son lived with you for the first 5 years of his life, then lived with his father for a year and then took off for another 5 years wouldn't the boy be 11 instead of 9 ?? unless they do math a little different than what I learned it dont add up. But if this is on the up and up.

OK first things first. What does it matter that you met a nice muslim guy ??
2nd: Who is the custodial parent ??
3rd: What are the visitation rights/arrangements ?
4th: Why did you let the boys father take the child and keep him for over a year?? Yes you knew where he was but why did you allow that to take place ??
5th: What have you been doing during the past 5 years that the boys father and your son disappeared ??

You need to get a Lawyer !!! When you allowed your son's Father to "Take" him for a year and you did nothing, it appears that you gave up your custodial rights. This is why you need a Lawyer.
How do you know that the father is a coke head ? From actual observations or hear say ?? Get photos or get it in writing.

Contact Social Services if you know that your son is endangered.
Always do what is best for your son !!!! Now is not the time to be fighting needlessly with your sons father because you are mad at him.

Answer 3

Why did you feel the need to mention that you had met a Muslim? Did that play a part in your son's father taking him away from you? And during the 5 or 6 years your son's father had him, why couldn't you find him? Didn't your son try contacting you? How do you know that your son's father is a coke head? Do you have absolute proof of that or is it hearsay or just plain guessing?

The courts will want to know what kind of enviroment you can provide for your son. Can you prove that he will be better off with you than with his father?

And finally, where do you think your son would rather be - with you or with his dad? If you are now practicing the Muslim faith he might not want to enter into that situation.

If you really love your son, ask yourself what is best for him.

All the best to you.

Answer 4

(a) Did you have a custody order from the family court to begin with, or was this "visitation" schedule just something you informally agreed to? If the latter, you need to get an order from the Court; seek sole legal and physical custody.
(b) Taking a kid away for 5 years is a crime -- even if it's a parent--and it can be a federal crime, a violation of the U.S. PKPA. Talk to the criminal attorney. But were you looking for your kid in those 5 years? Did you hear from the guy at all? It sounds like you just gave up on him. To either a prosecutor or a judge, you're going to have to say what you were doing for those 5 years and why you didn't report this to the legal system earlier.

Answer 5

In Canada if you take a child from a parent with the intent to deprive the other parent of the child by "disappearing" it is kidnapping.
Definitely call social services, if you believe your son is in immediate risk then call the police to check on his well being.

Answer 6

Why haven't you called the police? Your son's father can't just take him without your consent. Call social services and go fight for whats yours. I don't know why you have let this go on this far. I'm not a mother but I'll tell you that if I had a child and this happened, my child would've been residing with me already.

Answer 7

You answered your own question, do what is best for your child. I do not know about the child services where you live. If you get a good case worked they can help you. You would have to investigate and see what people have to say about them. If you know where your son is go get him and see what happens form there. He did take him from you. If it were my son I would go through hell for him. Good luck

Answer 8

what country you in, cause no woman in her right mind would let a ex who vanished to take the child at all till proven they are responsible. If this is true call childrens protection or whatever it is called where you are immediately if you care.

Answer 9

I would do both! I refused to let my children go with their father until I had custody of them because I have always been warned that can happen.

Answer 10

Go get your son lady then figure out what to do