Twenty-three years ago I eloped with a magnificient woman. Unfortunately, her family wanted her to marry a professional of their choice. My father-in-law eventually accepted me but he passed on. My mother-in-law has since become more and more bitter - even after all these years. I cannot seem to make a connection at all. We're happily married. I don't some; don't drink and I work hard to support my family. I've been polite with her and let her know she's more than welcome anytime. All she does is spill venom about me and Canadians (she's British). I get along with every other member of the family, including those still in England. Is there anything I might do that I may have missed?
2006-11-06 20:43:24 · 12 answers · asked by redcoat7121 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Parents are primarily the biggest flaw in any relationship and with that said I think you continue to show her that you love her daughter and plan to be a good husband and provider and don't go out of your way to please her (it may make you look weak) although always maintain respect for her and continue to be cordial. She has some issues that have nothing to do with you so let her be miserable by herself.
2006-11-06 20:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by JustCurious28 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I my mentally is wrong. You seem to be trying and she is not responding. You seem to be good for her daughter, but she seems to be stuck in the fantasy of what 'should-have-been'. I would personally corner her and tell her that her attitude has become really stressful to deal with, and you understand that she had her heart set on her daughter marrying a professional and for some unbeknownst reason she hates Canadians but she needs to wake up and see that profession (by her standards) or no you and her daughter have made if for TWENTY-THREE YEARS. Then I'd proceed to ignore her... you are not the one with the problem. Even if you choose not to confront her, ignore her and keep on doing what you are doing... you are OBVIOUSLY doing something RIGHT!
gd luck and cheers.
2006-11-06 21:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be yourself and before all else be a kind and respectful husband. Work on making your marriage happy and the mother-law may eventually come around. You can not change people only yourself
2006-11-06 20:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by dettie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound as though you are a good, solid man and it seems your wife is fortunate to have you. I can just imagine other members of her family experience her rigid, unaccepting attitude from time to time as well! Just continue what you are doing and accept that some people have such fixed attitudes that they will never be amenable to change.
2006-11-06 20:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by jom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My friend i dont think the problem here is you. Even in my family i.e my mother`s sisters and my grandmother spills venom like you mother in law. She seems to be biased and loves other grand childern but not us (me and my sis). The only solution to me is that you should continue to work hard as i do myself to keep her happy. Specially when people are around so that they also know that you try to keep her happe and she is the one who thinks wrong about you. She`s old , she has to go sometime. It`s you who has to live your life with your family !
Pleasure to HELP
Salik
2006-11-06 20:51:29 · answer #5 · answered by Salik K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she has been getting worse following her husband's death, maybe she has something mental happening, such as depression or maybe age related dementia. She might benefit from a visit to the doctor to rule out a physical cause for her behavior.
Just continue being non-judgmental as possible, but don't beat yourself to death with it, She is probably not going to change.
Best wishes to you.
2006-11-07 02:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by Ara57 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've done the best you can. If others in the family has accepted you then its probably your mother-in-law's complex and she should deal with it. So just go on being who you are and be happy in your marriage. Dont let her attitude affect your first family and priority - you and your wife.
2006-11-06 20:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by girlfunny 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She's probably jealous that her daughter did a better job in picking a husband than she did. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
2006-11-06 23:47:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue being yourself. Obviously she is the one with the problem so don't let her effect the good relationship you have with your wife.
2006-11-06 20:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by Hanky 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Buy her good clothes she wants and Good TV or Computer whatever she likes. I have tried it 2 times.
2006-11-06 20:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anirudh 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋