Is it wrong to take my children to church even though I am an Atheist?

Question

Even though I am an Atheist, I think that the principles behind Christianity had a good influence on my life, and I therefore want to share that with my children. But, what will I say to my children when they eventually find out that I am an Atheist. Will they think I have lied to them?

Answer 1

I think the best thing to tell your children in your situation is that while you are an atheist, you wanted them to have the principles of Christianity instilled in them like they were in you and that you also wanted them to have a sound introduction to Christianity so that they could make their decision about religion for themselves because they may not feel the same way about religion, or God, as you do and you didn't want to influence their choice by not letting them learn about Christian religion.

Answer 2

It is good that you take your children to church and believe that the principles behind Christianity had a good influence on your life.

However, your children will have a problem with this when they get older because they will feel you are a hypocrit. When my father preached about the bible and the values within, I felt he was a hypocrit since he never set foot in a church (he hadn't at that time) and he didn't pick up the bible to read (though could quote from it). So, his preaching did little to influence us as practicing Christians. The "don't do as I do, do as I say" has little value as you get older. Children are led best by example.

Your question of "what will I say to my; children when they...find out that I am an Atheist..." is an excellent question to ponder, as you will have to help them with that confusion. They might not understand you instilling beliefs into them on something you yourself do not believe in. I applaud you for your efforts, but hope that you will find a way to explain to them in a way that does not hurt the values they are learning.

Answer 3

If they seem to do well in the church's setting, then I don't see the harm in it.
That being said, take them to a low-key church, like an Anglican church, where they don't push their people to go out and convert the world around them to think exactly like themselves. You understand that this would cause a serious rift if your kids came home from church and demanded that you take on what the church believes.
Just be sure to explain to them that you believe that the church follows a made-up story but you want them to understand the good morals that their stories have.

I am a Christian, so naturally, I can't help but be a bit biased. Perhaps some answers from some other atheists could give you a more rounded idea of the answer you are looking for.

Answer 4

How you live your life is more important than your beliefs. It is good to view christianity from a philosophical perspective. When not distorted by fanaticism, its principles of tolerance and helping others are valid and good way to lead your life.

If you need a religious example of what you are doing, read them the parable of the Good Samaritan, the message is not just about helping others, it is about "Who is the better neighbour?". What you do is more important than what you believe or don't believe.

You won't have lied to them, you will just have presented them with different options, which they are free to choose (in part or in whole) or reject.

Being an atheist does not mean you have to be anti-religious.


Good Luck with it.

Answer 5

At one level it is no more wrong than letting your children believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or astrology. Most religions promote a lot of good values (love, respect of others), but unfortunately also some not so good values (fear of punishment in e.g. hell, unquestionable dogma). I would say take your child to not just one church, but every church you can find - and every synagog, mosque, hindu and buddhist temple too. Keep discussing what you see and experience with the child, whilst making it clear that while you respect these people and their beliefs, you do not share their beliefs, nor any other supernatural belief. Bring your child up to reason and question everything, and make up his/her own informed mind.

Answer 6

My philosophy, teach them about all the major world religions. Let them decide for themselves. If I ever have children, I'm going to give them the information I have regarding any religion they may ask about, then let them decide which ones they'd like to investigate further. I think people, not you... but people in general, cannot accept that children can make pretty smart decisions about what they like and what they don't like. Sure, take them to church, teach them about Buddhism, tell them about your atheism, let them know about Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Bahá'í, ecetera. There's probably a wealth of children's books at your local library that can outline the basics of these religions to your children.

And I must applaud you for your open nature. I see far too many people misunderstand atheism and I'm sure you're going to get flamed for your choice. Most people don't think that you can be an atheist and still be a good, caring person. I consiider myself a Secular Humanist which is based on being a good person who does not believe in an omnipotent deity, you may fit into this category. Many religions as well, are not exclusive to each other, for example, it's perfectly acceptable to be a Buddhist Christian. Most people just don't do the research, and those people are probably missing out on something that could add vigor to their lives. It's a very personal decision indeed, and not one that is easily made. Get the children's books, read them to your kids and see what books connect to each of them individually, then focus your efforts there.

Edit: Two thumbs down so far? What, did I offend someone with my open-mindedness?

Answer 7

If you think it had a good influence on your life, then I don't see a problem with taking them to church. I also see no problem with sharing that there are things there that you agree with and things that you don't agree with. In the end, your kids will make up their own minds, but I think you should be up honest with them about your beliefs and your motivations.

Answer 8

LOL! If you truly believe what you believe, why in the world would you want your children to become Christians? You can teach your children morals and life lessons without being a Christian. In fact, most religions preach basically the same thing, to do good, etc. Personally I have nothing against Atheists nor Christians, but I don't think you'll want your children to grow up to be someone that would oppose your ideas and belief, your family would be a broken hose, a loose cannon. I'm not making it up, because I grew up in that situation, in which my mom was a Buddhist and father was a Christian and they constantly argued. You don't want that for your children do you?

Answer 9

I would have to say that you are not an Atheist. You are somewhere in between. Have you seen some of the replies from the Atheists in this forum? Atheism is the total opposite of Christianity. Christians chose to worship the Creator (God). Atheists chose to worship the creation (man).

There is a lot of great morals in Christianity. Look at the 10 commandments. Most of those commandments have been adopted as necessary laws in most societies. Where did our concepts of right and wrong come from? How did we know what to call certain emotions that we experience?

I don't think that it is wrong take your children to a church. Children need a structured environment in order to grow. If you leave a kid to local gangs they will most likely become a criminal. There is no law or stucture in gang environments. In a church environment children are taught to respect, help, and care for one another.

I didn't become a Christian because it was forced on me. I grew up in a home where I was loved, but my parents were not practicing Christians. My parents were agnostic. My parents didn't call themselves anything. I guess they were waiting for the lightning bolt to strike. It took a long time for me to become a Christian. I just kind of stumbled into it. I kept my heart open and realized that I could the only way to search out God was to want Him to search me out. After seeing certain things I realized that there had to be a God.

I always wondered how I would know if God was searching me out. I came to realize that if He was an all powerful God He would be able to make me hear Him. The key was keeping my heart open and waiting. It took 13 years but it happened.

You sound like you are in a similar place. Hope is looking ahead to something better even when you don't see it yet. Hope would seem pointless and stupid to the scientific community. Yet we still hope.

Keep your heart open. Give your children the best you can give them. Remember though that your children someday will have to make up their own minds about God. Just love your kids. They will realize that you are you and they are themselves different from you. I think they might thank you for caring about them.

Please don't listen to some of the pointless answers that tell you all religion is bad. Sure there have been wars in mankind's history. These wars are not because of religion though. These wars are because of our competitive nature with our fellow humans. Most wars start because of greed and a lust for power. Even some so called religous wars started because of these reasons. The finding of America was because of religion. Alot of our greatest achievments are because of our religious backgrounds. It is in our nature to worship something. Weither it be God, gods, or ourselves.

Take care.

Answer 10

I think your reasons are good. But why would they need church to teach them these principles? One can easily take many of the same ideas and apply them to "we do this for the good of mankind", not "we do this because God said so". Look at Buddhism--the Eightfold Path is not far off from the Ten Commandments, but the reasoning is wildly different.

Note that I'm not saying don't take them to church; just that there are alternate ways of doing this without involving religion or making your children feel deceived.