I am 23 years old (female) and my brother is 25. I feel so immature and stupid bc we fight like we always have. I thought by now we would have a good relationship. I long to be one of those people with a great relationship with their sibling! He is ALWAYS trying to show my parents he is better than me, and my mother adores him. She and I don't have a very good r/ship and everytime my bro and I fight, she defends him. Even without knowing what the fight is! I have to explain it to her before she ever sees my reason, and she rarely listens to me anyway. What can I do? I still live at home and there is no option for me moving out because I am still studying. My dad is more understanding of me, but doesn't do much to break up tension at home.
How can I avoid going nuts? Please help.
2006-11-06 19:51:03 · 9 answers · asked by Qrious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the best part of having a sibling is, being able to fight !!! Come on man, u shud learn to enjoy those moments. well if u dont, i suggest u occupy urself doing something u enjoy doing and ur brother doesnt. That way, he is kept far from u while u r still with him.
2006-11-06 19:56:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ramya R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was your punishment? It sounds as if your parents just don't know what to do with the both of you. I'm sort of like your brother but I get no sympathy from my parents. Whenever I fight with a sibling, my parents have always told me to try my best not to start it and keep my mouth shut no matter how angry I get. I feel bad because I know how hard it is for someone not to say anything when I bad mouth them. But it is just wiser to keep your mouth shut. Or you can just calmly ask them why they are so angry and why they feel they have to bad mouth you? It will help the other person realize just how silly they're being. I think your brother is going through a phase. You should perhaps introduce him to a different genre of music and see if that helps him. Have a talk with your parents about your brothers behavior but do this separately and voice your concerns. When you talk to them DO NOT get angry. Do it very CALMLY. Understand how they feel about you and take their criticism constructively. From there you'll have to work out how you need to behave with your brother because you do not want to ruin your relationship with him and break up your family in the future. I guess in the end you need to agree to disagree which is perfectly fine and also stay out of each others way. To sum it all up: you both need to take the blame so you both learn your lessons. Understand how to deal with issues when they arise. Learn to change for the better and remind yourself that you don't want it to get any worse than it just did. Learn to be the bigger person and you will get the respect that you deserve from your parents. Learn to forgive and forget and hope for the best. Love your brother. You'll need him and he will need you one day. Hope that helps *Best wishes*
2016-05-22 06:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt this will help but me and my brother have fought/argued since we were kids. It seems that we cant change others only ourselves so whenever we get in an argument I usually leave so as not to escalate it. It really sux because it has made our family more dysfunctional than it was, but at least I wont kill him someday and it did get almost to that point years ago. At least I have inner peace in that situation. I love him as a brother but if it were up to me I would never hang out with him I keep trying for my mother and father but so far no luck
2006-11-06 20:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by calito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought you guys would be passed this, But it seems that your brother has always be able to push the right buttons to get you going, and every time he does you take the bait.
You have to learn not to get so up set just ignore what he is saying or doing. i know that will not be easy but you have to try. If your brother cannot ruffle your feathers then you have won .
he will have to find something else to do . So from now on when he starts just say i can't be bothered and walk away just leave him standing there,
may God bless you
2006-11-06 20:23:56 · answer #4 · answered by jan d 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids are the same age neither live at home now but still at times they get up each others noses over nothing much.He thinks she is our golden child,she thinks he gets away with too much but they are always there to defend or help the other when someone else is getting up their nose-I guess it is love in a weird way.Things will smooth out for you eventually,be patient.
2006-11-10 02:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by sue m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 23 years oold you should have broken out of the societal binds that holds on to a family. You should be well on your way to establishing your own life without so much influence of your family! Get on with your life! Will you still be jealous of your brother when you are 50!?!?!?!?!?
2006-11-06 20:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by the_pharaoh109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good ? man, i don't know....just wait it out and things will change once you get your own diggs
2006-11-06 19:54:52 · answer #7 · answered by Scratch-N-Sniff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋