Anyone know a good book to explain death to 5 year old?

Question

No-one in our family has died recently but he keeps asking how people die and what happens so I wanted to get a decent book to explain things to him. I found one that is about granny dying but he still has both his grannies so I don't want that one. Also we are not religious so I don't want anything about God and heaven.

Thanks for all the serious answers so far. I'm going to check them all out today.

To respond to some of the others - of course I have sat down with him and tried to explain things as honestly as possible but HE has actually asked me to buy him a book about it. If you don't like the question then just move on, don't dare question my parenting skills.

Answer 1

Trix, rather than sit him down with a book, which a 5 year old might have trouble reading or understanding, why don't you sit him down and have a heart to heart with him?

I know it might be a hard subject to talk about but to be honest, brushing the subject off with a book is not a good idea. If you cannot do it then maybe a close relative who he feels comfortable with might. If he reads a book there are going to be things he doesn't understand....

He will also probably be upset when he comprehends it so immediate reassurance before things fester in his mind like nanny is going to die soon or suchlike will help him.

Good luck but please don't leave it to a book.....

Graham

Answer 2

Give your local hospice a call. They support children who have lost parents/family/friends and have literature you can borrow or can recommend to help explain this to your child. There are some really excellent resources that can explain it at a 5 year old level, without being too distressing or 'fudgey' and are not religeous. Check out ww.hospiceinformation.org.uk for a directory of what is in your area.

My cousin went through the same thing at this age and became obsessed with war and people dying, even though neither were happening to him. It just seems to be a phase. His parents were open and honest with him, answered his questions and made the information in a way a 5 year old would understand. He is now 21 and has still yet to experience bereavement.

You can always produce something yourself that would guage the level he is at and represent the beliefs and values you hold.

Answer 3

lol you sound like me
no religion
i had the same problem a few months ago with my five year old daughter asking much the same

i could not find a book to save my life to show her about what happens

this may sound strange but i was passing an undertakers while out shopping with her and she saw the coffin pictures in the window with the tomb stones

i looked down at her and she would not take her eyes off the shop so i took her in
i asked the kind lady in the shop for some kind of ideas to help explain and she gave my daughter a booklet with all the coffins in

then she told her that when people die they go in to these special boxes to sleep for a very long time
the way it was done made my five year old feel more confident about death

now she wants to be an undertaker

lol well it's different from the norm of being a nurse i guess

Answer 4

I dont know a good book but when i was about that age i asked my mom where my grandma was (she died a few months before i was born) she just told me that grandma loved us but she went to heaven so that she can keep a closer eye on us and help us through life a little better. I then asked if she would be coming back and my mom said no she wont but she loves you just the same and shes with god ( if your not religous you could say that shes in paraidse and the will see the person soon enough).

Answer 5

I havent read through all your answers so dont know if anyone has already suggested 'Badgers Parting Gifts' by (i think) Susan Varley.

There is also a little booklet book called Water Bugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney published 1984 in the UK by Mowbray, The Tower Building, 11 York Road, London, SE1 7NY. This explains why dead people cant come back.l

Answer 6

There is a children's book called Goodbye, Mog by Judith Kerr. Mog is an elderly cat who dies. Unless you dealing with an actual bereavement it may be a good book for your child. It isnt really religious and is obviously focused on the loss of a pet rather than a relative, so it introduces the idea of death and loss, but not the trauma of losing a loved one.

Our son was given it when he was 5, Im not sure if it 'cleared things up for him' but certainly when our family cat died at the end of that year he seemed to understand what was happening.

Answer 7

such a difficult question. I went and had a look on amazon after reading the question though and there was quite a few on there for children and also waterstones came up in the search too. I often thought the same about getting a book after someone we knew died and my 6 year old daughter started asking questions about death, and like you i didnt want any "god took them" or anything like that, because then you have to explain why god wanted to take them, and if gods so great and kind why would he want to hurt us! good luck i hope your child finds sense in all, must be very confusing for children on that subject

Answer 8

When my mom died my son was 5. I got him "When Dinosaurs Die" which I thought was especially good at explaining something pretty abstract (to a 5-year-old) in terms he could relate to. It doesn't soft-pedal the emotionally hard parts, but it does break them down for small kids to understand. There's also a book called "Lifetimes" that's worth checking out. Neither has any religious overtones at all and neither is about any one particular person dying. I hope that will help. Little kids are naturally curious about death and what it means, but I agree, it's hard to find good information that's appropriate to them. These 2 were helpful to me.

Answer 9

Look at it this way, does he still believe in father christmas, I bet he does, so believing in god and heaven will soften the blow if someone close dies before he is old enough to understand.

I don't believe in any of that religious hogwash but to a 5 year old it is the best bet.

When he gets older he will find out that there is no father christmas, so why not the same with god and heaven.

Answer 10

Watership Down by Richard Adams. If you can, get the film on video or DVD. The animation sequence when Big Wig (I think he was called that) is splendid. Our son watched this when he was 5 and before anyone in the family had died and before we had talked about dying and death. A year later when his grandpa died we heard him explaining to his younger sister.