he always hurt me by saying bad things about my dad though in front of him he is good.when i tell him that this attitude of his hurts me ,he says he is joking,but when the matter of his parents or brothers come,he gets really angry if i say something.though his younger bro had created a huge mess in my inlaws house about me and my parents.my marriage was almost at the verge of breaking but didnt.though my husby knew i was right he didnot support,this was 3yrs back.now i guess he has realized but never tells me openly.but i can understand by his behaiviour.i speak to my brotherinlaws wife but not him.even now after 5 yrs of marriage my inlaws and his family i am not comfortable.they always one or the other way hurt me.but my huby never support me.always says to think about myself him and my daughterand be happy.but i want his family to love me understand me .we live in seperate country .when ever we go 4 vaccation while comin back a new story .now we r leavin 4 vaccation i am scared.
2006-11-06 19:48:59 · 2 answers · asked by reena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like your husband comes from a rough family and still has some of their bad habits. I wouldn't try to get his family to like you. It's not your fault they are mean. It wouldn't matter how perfect you were, they are just not that good at being nice to others. If I were you, I would remember everything your family has taught you about being a good person and trust that. Just be the best person you were raised to be and maybe your example will help soften them over time. Maybe not. But at least you can be strong knowing that you are doing the right thing even if they are not. Do not judge yourself by their standards. They obviously aren't experts at being decent, so don't take what they say so seriously. Try thinking of them compassionately as children who were not given the right tools and don't know how to behave better. Most of all, be kind to yourself, even if others are not. Talk kindly to yourself and think about all your good qualities. When you are feeling hurt try to be patient with them. Remember, they can only hurt your feelings if you believe what they say. Make yourself strong and calm inside and you'll be OK. Think positive! Good luck to you!
2006-11-06 20:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by kim b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
reena: Get the joker into counselling - he has issues ! Remember; you are married to your husband and not his family. Your husband need be the one to deal with his own family and tell them to cool it in defence of you. The 3 major causes of divorce today are: Sex issues, money and INLAWS . If you feel your marriage is worth saving then, take your husband, sit him down and have a good chat with him about both, the overt and covert abuse he is heaping on you. Demand that it stops and see a marriage counsellor. Next time Mr. "Joker" wants you to accompany him on a trip to see his family, simply say, " NO" !!! Your husband is setting a bad example for your daughter and will turn her against your side of the family. All the best to you reena !!!
2006-11-06 20:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋