Should I believe him after all this? Is he being sincere or is it because he was caught in lies?

Question

My husband and I've been through ALOT! He's not been there for the kids and I, been lying to me(little lies) all the time, is gone for 2-6 hrs. at a time EVERYDAY, helps his sister out ALL the time & usually with her when he's gone, never calls when he's gone, has cellphone calls in the other room, out in the garage, or even outside, hasn't wore his wedding ring for a while-the list could go on. I've tried everything! I asked him this weekend if he's doing drugs - he said no, I asked him if he were having an affair, again he said no, but had the nerve to get his ring out of bag and put it on right in front of me after asking him this. Well, we had a long talk last night and I turned the situation around on him. I asked him if he'd like it if I said "I'm going to the grocery store, was gone for 2 hrs., never called, and was out screwing someone for all he knew after giving him every reason to think so, would you like to think that, because that's how he makes me feel?"

He was caught in lies this weekend between his family visiting me while he was gone(saying he's taking our kids to my parents house over the phone, while his grandma is at my house with me and the kids). His mother came by later and we had our own discussions. She talked to him later. But is he finally realizing the problems he has caused and being sincere when he tells me later that I was right about some issues and that he wants to make me and the kids more of a priority than he has, or is he just saying that because he's been caught in a bunch of lies lately? It's hard to trust he's telling me the truth or another lie. What do you think?

Answer 1

What is it that you want in this situation? Do you want things to continue as they are or do you want to see some change? If you want to see some change, you will have to be the one to make changes...you cannot expect your husband to change at all. You only have control over YOUR actions. And I'm sure you have a gut feeling about what you need to change...what you need to do.

Answer 2

I just read the beginning.

You should believe him if he makes amends, however you should be wise enough to understand the anatomy of that type of situation. Have some respect for yourself above all others. Regardless if you love him or not, he is not the most important, you are. He has someone responsible for him and thats him. As well do you and that is you.

Besides, love is like landing on a planet. You may find yourself on the surface without knowing whats living under the oceans or in the trees. Once you have landed on the surface, you will take quite a bit before its enough. it takes alot of fuel to launch out of the atmosphere. You wanna make sure its worth it. I will tell you this, if i am not enjoying this planet im out.

Answer 3

Do you know for sure he is at his sisters place?

He is treating you like crap. You and the kids deserve much more. It is better for kids to be from a broken house than to live in one.

The stress isn't good for you or the kids. Your husband don't have a relationship.

See if he will go for counseling. If he won't change, there isn't any reason for you to stay around for the abuse.

This sort of abuse comes on gradually. Once you are away from him you will be amazed how good life is.

You have a choice.

Have you tried to check out his cell phone and see who is calling?

Answer 4

im also married, and it seems like something fishy is going on with him.. if he won't admit anything to you (i doubt he is going to, anyway), then i think you should do a little snooping around. try asking some close friends, maybe THEY know something, cause usually the wife is always the last one to know. but it's pretty clear he's not a very responsible husband and father. if i catch my husband without his wedding ring on, he'd better provide a pretty good reason. love, communication and respect is the key to a good marriage, especially when there are children.

Answer 5

SORRY TO TELL U THIS BUT HE CHEATING WHAT OTHER REASON DOES HE HAVE TO TAKE OFF HIS RING DOES HE DO DO HARD WORK ON THE JOB THAT WOULD MESS UP THE RING? IF NOT HE'S HIDING SOMETHING FROM U. U SHPULD CALL CHEATERS A.S.A.P. AND GET ON WITH UR LIFE BECAUSE THE KIDS DON'T NEED TO BE PUT THROUGH THAT

Answer 6

Why beat the crap out of yourself? When you get solid facts than start to worry. Until than, keep an eye out but don't cause yourself stress doing it. Just do your thing and if it turns out to be true deal with it than. You're going to make yourself sick!

Answer 7

What are you getting out of this relationshiip??? Sounds like to me sumthin screwy goin on round here.....He is up to no good....You do not desrve to be treated like that.....His kids dont derserve to see their mom disrespected by thier father.....They will learn what they see.....sounds like the message is ;;;dads are buttholes and treat moms bad....and moms put up with it and let it happen.....you will perpetuate the cycle.....on and on.....Someone has to step up to the plate and face reality of the situation......

Answer 8

why are you wasting time with someone that you VERY OBVIOUSLY don't trust. is this how you would want someone to treat one of your children? that's exactly what they are learning. i have to assume you want someone to convince you that there is nothing wrong with this situation... i think the question you should have asked is 'how do i start filing for divorce?'

Answer 9

take it from me and do urself a favor-decide if u are going to put up with it because he is having an affair

Answer 10

you can ask for a divorce....is she still supporting the family? are you able to support the kids? is seems like he got a woman outside to me...