My stepmother-in-law is behaving in what I believe is an abusive way, what do I do?

Question

Hello,
my stepmother in law, whom I don't see very often, was very mean on my last visit. She constantly put me down with phrases such as ' you are out of shape, you can't even get up the stairs'(I am fat but also 6 months pregnant), 'don't think only about yourself', 'I am not stupid, I am 53', 'you are borgeois raised and ignorant to women's issues'... And I guarantee you, I was not being selfish or ignorant. She just seems to lash these comments explosively and in an overblown way. Could she be on the way to becoming like her own bipolar mother? I just sat and said nothing after such yells, what would you do instead?

P.S.: I forgot to mention this, she only treats me bad when we are alone.

Answer 1

People use bipolar as an excuse to be mean and hateful.....Maybe she's just a nasty woman.....I would not go near her.....and I would probally yell back at the old bat.....Don't let anyone treat you bad......fat & pregnant or not.....dont let em treat you bad......

Answer 2

My mother-in-law is as you describe, and while it is easy for people to tell you not to take it, or give it back, or explain how you feel, it doesn't actually work! (Sorry people) My situation is as such that by doing any of this makes her validate her opinion...because she finds little things in everything you say.

I know it is low, but I use sarcism when everything is going great. Like she hinted at coming for Christmas (thankfully lives 4000kms away), and I said "what so you can ruin another christmas?" I know it is harsh, but comments when things are good with a smile on your face (that they can hear over the phone) gives you the opportunity to voice how you feel without a huge argument.

This way, and it has taken a while, I have received a lot of apologies for things she has done. It doesn't mean that she has stopped, but the really nasty stuff is less frequent. As she put it, the sarcism gives her a chance to face it, and go away and think about it....because I don't give her the chance to open a discussion straight away.

It works for me. At the time she is doing it, I don't say anything unless it gets too bad. EG last christmas I told her to cut her garbage or she would need to find somewhere else to stay.

Good luck

Answer 3

I would she seems going through something either with you or because you may be pregnant either way you should put her in her place. I would recommend you have serious sit down and explain to her that you can't handle her ranting and badgering
you when you come to visit and if this is the way she is going to act evry time you come by then just explain that you will not be put through this stress and unneeded abuse and will not visit anymore.

This may hit a heart string or she may just say fine be that way
if it's the latter count your blessings and let her live her life and you live yours. God Bless with your Baby

Answer 4

Tell her that her opinion doesnt interest you since shes biased and obviously doesnt like you. Say the entire thing right to her. It always surprises a bully when someone isnt afraid to speak up and tell it like it is. It will throw her off. Best also to do it in front of others so shes embarrassed. It could possibly shut her up or at the least put HER on the defensive instead of the offensive.

Answer 5

I agrees with you! She is being abusive! I do not like abusive people. If you can on all levels, try to move out. Or have her bags packed and her leave. You do not owe her any explation! If she can not hear what comes out of her mouth and accept the responsiblity of her own actions. The what a wake up call, it would be for her to find herself out on the street.

Answer 6

i'd employ the suitable and maximum expensive crew of criminal criminal experts in existence. The Catholic church might want to don't have any challenge with funding they might enter a plea of not in charge by technique of reason of psychological illness. because the the specialist witness, i'd proceed to cajole the jury of the certainly actuality, it really is that the defendants struggle through from Delusional sickness. i'd ask for a sentence which may contain the following: they could be remanded to a psychological well being midsection for clinical care of this situation and for his or her sexual compulsions. they might acquire treatment and medicines which they could be required to take till the day they died. If I ever idea they could be reintegrated into society without being a chance to everyone, i'd enable that less than particular situations. they might might want to be registered sex offfenders and would not in any respect be allowed interior of one hundred ft of any baby, for any reason. it really is that if I were on their part. i'm not. If it were as a lot as me, i'd take each and each and every in charge baby molester and shoot him two times contained in the top. what's going to actual take position although, is that the Catholic church will settle issues out of courtroom. there'll be no justice for those toddlers. not that something might want to undo what befell to them. The pedophiles will purchase their way out of punishment with the billions they have received from their delusional followers, in basic terms as they have continually achieved. There might want to be no justice the position God is in contact...

Answer 7

What's her name? We may have married into the same family!

Seriously, I'm going through the same thing with mine. When she does talk to me, which is rare, it's to say hateful things to me. I promised my husband the last time I had to go over there that I wouldn't throw her in the pool, but I wanted to SO BAD!!! Like I told my husband, I married him, not his family. If we get along, great. If not, that's just one less person I have to send a Christmas card to.

Answer 8

Either avoid her like the plague or else laugh hysterically when she makes these remarks. If she finds she can't get you riled up it will probably take the wind out of her sails.

Answer 9

Write down everything mean she says to you. Then later you can read it and you will realize that she is the worst person in your life. Your husband can read it too.

Answer 10

Just freak out and tell her to **** off. Your maternal hormones are at overdrive if your pregnant. Use it as an excuse later.