How does a man improve his self confidence, from body shape and size to emotional and state of mind?

Question

I am trying to improve my self confidence as this is one thing that I have acknowledged as causing depression. I am particularly interested in hearing from gay men. I am 38, and I used to be confident as a young man, but over the years, things have happened, and I now have lost about 90% of my confidence. I need to get it back.

Yes I am seeing a therapist, and on anti-depressants.
Please no smart alec answers.

If there are others out there who have had low self esteem, self confidence, please tell me what you did to improve it, what worked for you, and also what didn't work for you. We are all individuals, and different methods work for different people.

Cheers

Answer 1

I'm not a gay man but since I see you haven't gotten any other answers yet, maybe you won't mind a comment from a 33 yr old woman?
There was a time in my life, in my twenties, when I allowed another person to affect my self-esteem in a negative way. Sometimes we put too much value on what others think. If there's someone in your life putting you down, whether they're doing it outright or hinting around, you need to tell them to cut it out. You have the right to demand respect from people and you have the responsibility to yourself to do so as well.
If you're feeling low, you may not have it in you to confront someone, and that's okay, just try to limit contact with the person(s) that are causing you problems until you're strong enough to deal with them. Try to surround yourself with positive people who see the value in you as a person.
Too be honest, what changed for me was me though, not anyone else. One day I decided enough was enough and I looked myself in the eye and said I would be happy from then on and the only person who had a valuable opinion about me was ME. If you want other's to like you, you have to be likeable. Don't be a downer. Keep your problems to yourself (I don't mean bottle them up, but share them only with close friends and then don't obsess, and if someone you barely know asks how you are, DON'T give them a five minute story about how awful you're feeling, etc). Smile as much as you can, even when you don't feel like it. After a while, people will notice and start to want to be around you because you make them feel happier too, and that in turn will help your self esteem.
I am a true believer in the saying "Fake it til you make it". Wake up each morning and get dressed in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Treat other people in a positive manner and keep a smile on your face. Hold your head high and walk with confidence everywhere you go. If you have to, repeat the mantra in your head (Fake it til you make it) until you can be confident without it. Get out doing an activity you enjoy and make new friends that see and appreciate the good in you.

Answer 2

Believe you are confident, mind over matter. I find this helps for me.