why does my boyfriend love another women?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, but i thinking of cutting him loose because of a female at work. My boyfriend constantly checks out this girl and i have caught him flirting with her behind my back. This makes me really insecure because when i met this guy i was in really good shape, but since, i have gained 50 pounds. This girl he oggles, is in top notch shape. This is not the first skinny girl he checked out. He has even told me prefers skinny women, is he abusing me as well? I know i am not ugly because i have had alot of men after me. My boyfriend also gives me alot of Food too, Why does he keep me well fed , then gawk at less attractive skinny women, i DONT GET IT!

This boyrfriend of mine has also gotten a fat *** since we met too, so not like he is something to die for, and yes , i have lost 20 pounds on my own, and i plan on losing more and i am going to have sex with someone else, and it is going to be great!!

Answer 1

just because he looks at another doesnt mean he loves her.....we all have a look...there is no harm in it as long as they stay faithfull....if you are comfortable as you are then stay that way....if not then start to watch what you eat...you should not feel insecure in a relationship ever.....if he didnt love you then he probably would have already left....

Answer 2

I hate to play the devil's advocate, but you are not the person that he met two years ago. We, women, fall into the trap of "he should love me no matter what I look like". But you have to keep in mind that men tend to be "visually stimulated". I'm not coming down hard on you, but my husband and I have had this same discussion. Women tend to believe that if we put on 30, 50, or 100 pounds, our mate will love us just the same. Granted, we are the same person internally. Unfortunately, with the weight gain, you have become someone else. 50 pounds is a lot of weight to gain in two years. Additionally, 50 pounds can be half a person (if you take into consideration height). And just because he gives you food, that doesn't mean you have to accept it. HOWEVER, if his "flirting" makes you uncomfortable, and you've previously expressed this to him, but he continues to do it, then you most definitely need to cut your losses. If his "flirting" is simply admiration of someone's body and nothing more, then you should reign in your insecurities. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH ADMIRING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING'S PHYSIQUE. If he is being disrespectful, like I said before, cut your losses. But he's only looking, and he's coming home to you and giving you the attention you need and require, don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 3

Cutting him loose would not solve the problem.

It sounds to me like your self esteem really depends on your weight. And that has more to do with what you think of you. Work on your own insecurities, and find things to value in yourself besides being thin. Are you nice? Kind? Creative? Thoughtful? If so, give your self a pat on the back for each one every day, and if not, pick one and start acting the way a nice, kind, creative, thoughtful person might. Pay attention to yourself and what you BF is doing might not bother you so much.

You can't control him. And your trying to will probably just make the both of you miserable. Guys are going to look. It's part of what makes them guys. If he hasn't left you for gaining the weight, I'd look at his character. Is he nice, kind, creative, thoughtful, ________(fill in the blank)? If there is nothing else about him to suggest breaking up with him, he just might be a keeper.

Answer 4

K girl, if you were once your ideal weight like you said then there is no problem getting back there. Clearly u are unhappy with your weight, so i say dump his ***, exersize, eat healthy and do some shopping retail therapy! And once u are like you wanna be again make sure u bump into him and im sure he'l want u back, thats where the ball is now in your court again. No man is worth it, if he's after other girls! Be strong, chin up and good luck coox!

Answer 5

Forget about this ******** and move on with your life
you made an amazing accomplishment so far with losing 20 pounds
just believe in yourself and don't look back

Go Girl!

Answer 6

Giving you food is his way of thinking he has control over you. He might think no other man would want you, if you were heavy.
Drop the boyfriend, and the weight.
Two years is a long time for things to go nowhere.

Answer 7

50 pounds is a very unhealthy ammount of weight to be gaining. For your own sake, you need to get a grip on your own apetite and lose the weight. 50 extra pounds is also ugly on anyone, man or woman. You owe it to yourself and your man to lose the pounds. I know this will probably not be a pupular answer, but you asked and that is my honest opinion.
Jon

Answer 8

dump that pounds and dump that boyfriend...

maybe you should just secretly lose that weight while feeding him more to make sure he gain more fats...then next time guys will be flirting with you.. and he will get jealous....

you should love yourself more.. control that weight problem, improve your confidence level, and do not let your boyfriend affect you!! if the flirting is serious, talk to him.. if he's unwilling to change, then maybe you need to sit down and plan your next moves...

Answer 9

This is your answer. It is because he is an absolute retard who deserves to have his *** kicked. The next time you are hungry, you should fry him up and put him between two pieces of wonder bread and take a big bite out of his sorry ***.

Answer 10

You need to join Jenny Craig or something like that and lose the 50 or so pounds and see what he does then. The situation may change, but if it does not, then get rid of him.

Answer 11

OK quit whining and loose the weight or loose the boyfriend. I personally think that he's an a** and you should dump his sorry butt. You don't want a man like that...trust me. I would dump him, loose the weight then flaunt it in his face!