My son is grounded right now for being 3 hours late?

Question

He is grounded for 2 weeks from the phone and the computer, which he is 15 with a girlfriend and his life right now is the phone and computer. My question is, he mainly stays in his room and watches t.v. while he is grounded. I try talking to him about normal every day things when he comes out, but he talks to me like he doesn't like me, which I can understand right now, so is it wrong for me to just let him stay in his room and not speak to him? I don't want to give him the chance to be mean to me, but I don't want to think I am ignoring him either. It's like when he gets punished/grounded, I am the one that is made to suffer for it.

Answer 1

I can understand your confusion in grounding him to his room. That is where all his stuff is and it sometimes does not really feel like a punishment.

Whats the old joke.? Punish your kids by sending them to your room. Theres nothing there for them to play with...

I dont know if he hates you but yes you are the enemy. Like I am to my 16 year old daughter. I am like you hoping it will pass.

Your suffering when you punish him comes from guilt in thinking he is going to hate you forever. Even with my daughter I know that will not happen. He WILL get over it. Think of it as a good thing that for a moment he dis-likes you then him growing up to be someone that you are not proud of.

If you can and he will listen and do what you ask make him come out of his room and do things around the house. Clean, laundry, yard work. Make him do some arrand.

Sometimes a "You WILL NOT speak to me in that way" works when a child is talking to you like he hates you. It also might help if his father says it to him also or says it before you do.

If it comes down to it and he will not do what you ask by working around the house during his punishment. take his tv out of his room. Tell him having a tv is a luxuary and he has just lost his right to it. That might make him come out of his room.

Answer 2

Tell him he is grounded for those 2 weeks but the actual 2 weeks starts from the time his attitude changes. in other words he is grounded now but the 2 weeks keep extending until he can show respect and admit he made a mistake and can be a man about the consequences. If his attitude goes back to being bad the 2 weeks start over. let him suffer for his error not you.

Answer 3

LOL at Nomad, when I was a kid my dad ripped the phone out of the wall (literally) and we didn't even have a TV in our room. Welcome to the teenage years and they are going to "punish" you for punishing them. Your son knows his behavior is hurting you, so he continues to do it. If you need to talk to him, do so, but if he ignores you, advise him he knows he heard you and better get whatever you told him done or there will be more time added onto the punishment. I personally think you should have taken the TV away as well. When I was a kid they wouldn't even let me be grounded and be in my room, and if I was all toys,games,etc were removed first. I could only eat,sleep,shower and go to school. If you are being punished, you shouldn't be rewarded by being allowed to do something else you enjoy. Just my opinion :)

Answer 4

Letting him stay in his room watching t.v. is not punishment. Give him stuff to do,like clean the bathroom,mop the kitchen,do some yard work and make him sit in the living room with you and talk to him. he should be grounded until his attitudes changes also.

Answer 5

I have a 13-year old daughter, and once I ground her, she stays in her room until I talk with her about the reason why she was grounded.

At the point of any anger, no one is rational.
Both, you and your child must isolate yourselves to reasonable thinking. Then when you are ready, talk to your son. Explain to him the reason he is is grounded from certian things and that you must stick with them! Ensure him that just because you are grounding him DOES NOT imply you DON'T love him...
There is a reason they call it "PUNISHMENT", a consequence must be issued.
Do the crime...Pay the Price!
This is the way of our life! He has to learn sooner or later!

Submitted by:
Creativebliss3

Answer 6

Keep the hammer down Mom. I wish I had done that with mine. You have no idea how right you are! Let him be. I use to stay in my room a lot. That's what teens like to do sometimes, especially when they're mad at you. I wasn't tough, and I so.....Regret it! You have to stay in control. 3 hrs late. I wouldn't have dared. I knew better. But then I was stupid with my kids. Keep up the Parent Role!

Answer 7

Think over the important things you need to tell him. Call a meeting with him, however you do that. Tell him one by one the things you want him to know. He will listen even if he does not seem to listen. Ask him to do one small favor for you tomorrow. Spell out the favor and repeat it. Never mention it again. If he does not listen and does not do what you ask, than he probably is testing you with his behavior. Talk to him like he is an adult and in time he will come around.

Answer 8

Sulking is a teenage specialty.

The best antidote is to ignore it, as if everything was normal. Act chipper.

As for you being made to suffer for HIS punishment, that is his goal. Don't give him the satisfaction of showing how unhappy he is making you; it's a war of wills, and Mom must win!

Good luck!


P.S. Take the blasted TV out of his room.

Answer 9

Through time your son will mature and will learn the right way of life. Now at 15 you do not have much control of him but eventually in his 20s he will become a man. For me it was a different story in my early years. When my mom beat me up at 19, I took the law of ‘child abuse’ and placed her in prison under a court trail. Today I regretted my wrong doings and learned my mistake never to sue or place her in jail.

Answer 10

I think if a kid is grounded, they are grounded from everything. including the TV. What's the point of leaving the TV and taking away everything else? Not much of a punishment.