Is it all about sex?

Question

Ok so basically there is this guy who is a friend of mine and he went off to college outta state, we were never close until just recently when we started IMing each other,we can't seem to hold a general conversation but when it comes to talking about sex related activites the conversation is great. I've made it clear to him that I have religious values about no sex before marriage, yet we still continue to talk about what kind of activities we can do when he comes home. I am fine with the conversations because they are funny and fun. Does he think he's getting something from me when he gets home? Is this relationship going to be all about sex since thats all we can talk about? Please help me because I don't want to lead him on to thinking anything sexual is going to happen. Do you think he is just becoming closer because of the conversation topic? PLease Help all

I have told that that i didnt want to lead him on in any way. That this was just for fun, and he seemed fine with it. I told him we should probably talk about something else so he didnt get lead on but, he never seems interested in the other topics i have tried to start. I do have fun though, but i don't want to lead him on so that when he does come home he doesnt expect anything sexually. I also dont want to like him as more than a friend and end up getting hurt if he does get mad when he doesnt get anything from me because I WONT give in.

I just want to say thanks to all those who answered my question, i really appreciate it. I have been given many different points and views of the situation and it has really helped ma alot. I can understand where all of you come from. So THANKS again!

Answer 1

Looks like he is reaching out to a friend he knows, someone pardon this saying "familar" someone he can talk about anything too, He is attracted to you and probally trying to tell you so but the hints. Tell him straight forward your values etc.. two things might happen the friendship will suffer or he will be a man and respect your wishes. best of luck to you

Answer 2

Yeah, you've obviously been leading him on. As you know, normal topics don't seem to work well for you guys, only sex related topics is than interesting. You've already state your reasons that you'll not have sex before marriage, why still continue sex related topics with him then? You're more like acting innocence in front of him. Pls stop talking these kind of topics with him anymore. You don't want to lose your dignity right? I just know he's getting closer to you because of these sex conversations.

Answer 3

You're both young, and men that age (and most women) can think of nothing else but sex. It's natural. Nature programmed us to have lots of sex, have lots of babies at your age and thus insure the survival of the species. You can't turn-off seven millions years of human development just because some guy in a black rob and a white collars says to. It is unnatural.

As Voltaire said "God created sex. Priests created marriage."

Is he going to expect some? Yeah. Every guy does. Every guy has to believe 110% he isn't going to get shot down or he will. He may have to try 100 times, but every cell in his body says he has to have sex and have lots of it RIGHT NOW! LOL

Now none of this means you have to do it, it's just an explanation of why guys (and again, most girls) think of nothing but sex from about 15 to 50. If you don't want to do it than don't be pressured into it by anyone. It's your life, don't let others make your choices for you.

And as others have said here, don't lead him on, it will just ruin your friendship. As my wife says, "Don't play big girl games unless you are a big girl."

Answer 4

Yes, of course if you talk like this with a guy he will expect sex when he sees you, especially one of college age! Get real - you may think it's 'fun' but if you tease him like that it borders on cruelty. Men in their teens and twenties are full of hormones (I know, I was one of them) and simply cannot be rational about sex.

If you expect him to respect you, you must respect him as well. Don't toy with him - be straight up and tell him 'no way' if that's your intention - and don't be surprised if he gets angry and looks for another girl.

Nature has a funny way of evening things out, though. When you get into your 40s you'll be nearly as horny as your friend is now - but you won't be as attractive and just might have a hard time finding a partner. Then you might understand the meaning of frustration.

Answer 5

Generally I believe he thought that the relation is more about sex rather than love. if he is seriously with you, I think he won't get excited just talking about sex. There are so many things that a couples can do during dating like shopping, watching movie etc.
You should be very frank with him that you are not too keen on the topic related to sex and let him know about your religious values. I believe he will respect your decision and religion if he really love you

Answer 6

You are both curious, attracted and exploring the possibilities, without being specific about the details. You are temping him and he is being promising. He will be their when you are ready.
It is a good thing you asked the question, because you are the one that needs to get a grip on yourself.
Your religious training along with an ancient song in your ear are telling you to slow down and stop the train before it runs over both of you. He is doing what men from the beginning of time have done. If you open yourself to him, he will do his part. Be careful and prepare yourself for dealing with the problem.

Answer 7

In my opinion, this man just wants sex. He is not looking for a serious relationship; rather just a great physical time with you. When a man is really interested in a woman, he is very considerate and rarely brings up sex on im or over the phone etc. The fact that he always brings up sex with you, means that he does not care about your VALUES. This guy is RUDE and disgusting in my opinion. You have told him over and over that you do not condone sex before marriage- yet he constantly brings it up. So to answer your question= YES he only cares about sex! YOU HAVE NOT LEAD HIM ON AT ALL! I TEND TO BE IN THE DARK OR BAD WHEN IT COMES TO READING WOMEN BUT YOU ARE QUITE CLEAR- I AM PROUD OF YOU!! STICK TO YOU VALUES AND IT WILL BE QUITE OBVIOUS LATER ON THE HE ONLY WANTS SEX. DO NOT GIVE IN AND DO NOT HAVE SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE-STICK TO YOUR SOLID MORALS! WAY TO GO!

Answer 8

In any love relationship, there are always many things we need to talk in order to understand one another better. Examples: Your concern for one another, like education, career, family background, interests, hobbies, future prospect... etc.

If sex is the only conversation your boyfriend finds excited to talk about... then you have to be careful. This is not sincere love, but a sexual lust!!! It is an act of selfishness simply to talk about sexual activity or desire. I think, he is very irresponsible and careless to talk about sex with you all the time.

Be careful!!! Once, you give in, you are trapped or maybe you will be gone.

Answer 9

Hi Just explain to him while you like discussing these things with him on the phone that they can be taken no further then on the phone....make sure before you engage any further conversations like this with him that he fully understands that. It is a bit like the net you have the ones that can see past the dirty talk, and have a conversation with you and then you have the ones that no matter how many times you say your not interested they still persist...MAKE SURE YOU MAKE IT LOUD AND CLEAR IT IS PHONE SEX ONLY!!!!!

Answer 10

Yeh generaly guys like to talk sex and have sex. So if you feel that U r going to have sex after marriage he may get annoyed, and may not be good friend as he is now. Sort it out with him about ur feelings right now before too its too late. This is in general there r always some exeception. Good Luck.