its my mom?

Question

she is dying she has cancer and now i am so broken up i can barley get out of bed anymore but my brothers hate her and my dad doesnt talk to her anymore so i have to take care of her and i love her so i dont mind it really i just dont know how to act i need to be strong for her but im breaking down! and im only 17

any advise?

Answer 1

Just love her and stay close and supportive of her. Are there any friends or family members you can go to for advise. You are a good daughter and your mother is lucky to have you. Do not desert her like the others.. They will suffer for it later. You will always have a clear mind as you are doing the right thing.
My thoughts are with you honey......

Answer 2

Try to remember that she is still the adult, and try to remember that while it will be hard for her to see you break down she'll probably try to find something to say that may help you feel a little better - and that's ok. She's your mother. Let her still be your mother whenever possible.

She probably wants you to be strong for you. People who are dying usually find ways to come to grips with their situation, and they usually come around to being reasonably ok with it. When people suffer they may actually look forward to not suffering any longer.

Be as strong as you can, of course, but if you cry then you cry. Its normal, and she understands. When things are rough its normal and expected for people to cry at times.

You're in a very difficult situation, but for as long as you have your mother just try to remember that she's the adult, the parent, and the one who has had to come around to dealing with her own illness. She may actually be a little wrapped up in all her own issues right now (which is also normal) and not be all that able to be worried a whole lot about anyone else anyway. I'm not saying she doesn't care, but dying people do get wrapped up in what they are dealing with and sometimes get to a point where they just can't be worried about others. They tell themselves that others will be fine because they know they've survived the deaths of loved ones themselves.

There's no easy way to deal with what you're dealing with. Stay as strong as you can be, do what you can, and don't expect yourself to be super-human all the time. You may want to make sure you talk with a counselor who deals in this type of thing, not so you can "vent your feelings" but so a counselor can tell you what to be expecting in terms of dealing with this whole thing. You're young, and you shouldn't be going through this alone.

Answer 3

Wow, Honey I wish I could help make it better for u I really do. My mom died of cancer 12 yrs, ago and I miss her terribly, I'm the oldest of nine and there was one older than me now also dead. Since my mom died I've buried 3 siblings and miss them terribly too. It doesn't get easy especially because ur the only female in the family besides ur mom. Be comforted with the fact that u r doing the best u can for her and if u need help there r places called hospices that will help u. Seems ur father doesn't have the strength to do what needs to be done so it is on ur young shoulders. Investigate hospices and convalescent homes in ur area and then speak to ur dad about placing mom in one when the time comes to do so. U won't be able to do it by ur self trust me. It'll drain u physically and mentally. And as for ur brothers, there's a God up there and they too will someday be parents so what goes around sadly comes around and they will pay for they insolence in their mother's time of need. God Bless and keep u always child sorry u have to grow up so soon.

Answer 4

Hay I know what u going thew,my mom had 3 Cancer from the neck up and went to chemo,and u name it she had it done.Yes your AR right to be strong but u still need help.My mom was 59 and she never drink,smoke and she lasted 6 months after they told her.I was 19 and she had a trace and the last six month she had not ting but liq to live on>so call hospuss they will help u a lot at no charge my lord be with u both and bless u its hard.

Answer 5

I am curious as to why your brother hate her- i hope its not because she is sick

Just be there for her- but more importantly you need some support as well... make sure you give yourself some time off (some time for yourself to allow you to be a teenager and to rejuvenate your spirits before heading back to your mum)

Hopefully you can seek such support from your family (?) or some very close friends... it might be an idea to seek out an organisation set up for this very reason- we have canTeen here in Oz- I am unsure if you have similar where you are!

Good luck and remember you are not alone!

Answer 6

I am so sorry to hear of your mom being sick. It is ok to be sad and cry with her together. It is also ok to cry alone. The best thing you can do is to share happy moments whether it is reading a book or watching TV or going through pictures. Do a pampering day of hair, facials, nails together (which can be done in bed) and enjoy that and chocolate and a movie.. turn her room into a "day spa" and escape together for a day.Share things like that with her and make the best of the time you have together.

Answer 7

You are just a great daughter. Take care of her until the end. And you will be rewarded by God and future good life for your good heart. Even how wrong she is or what she had done to make your brothers and dad to hate her, she is your mother. Be strong and God will bless you!!!!!!

Answer 8

When things get hard we tend to fall into a depression and not even know it. Thats what it sounds like to me. But you know what? You are an awesome person for taking on the chore of caring for your mom. Don't be so hard on yourself. Things will look up. Especially if you pray! God only dishes out the amount he knows we can handle....and he sees your strength.

Answer 9

OMG. Honey you need to find like a support group or something like that to help you get through this. No one so go thruogh something like that alone, especially someone your age. You can also see if you can get some kind of hospice to come to your house and help you. Hospice is like a nurse that comes to your house and helps you take care of your mom, most of them are covered with insurance or even free.

Answer 10

Listen to me You need to ask God to help you and you need to try and enjoy the time you have. It might be hard but she is still here and you have to make the most of it. I just lost my mom and i to take care of her it is so hard but you can do it. Be strong and spend all the time you can with her. you can do it. You don't have to pretend with her she knows it's hard for you but what I'm saying is don't spend your time you have with her being down try to make the most of it and remember this saying it is so true. "This to shall Pass" it will I promise