I am a single mother of three kids, 3, 9, and 12! Why sometimes do they make me so mad that I feel like I am going crazy? And how can I get them to understand that if they just pick up after themselves, 1.) I wouldn't have to nag, and 2.) there wouldn't be as much work to do, and 3.) I wouldn't be so mad all the time. Why don't they get it? Do I expect too much from them?
2006-11-06 17:49:25 · 16 answers · asked by justwondering 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
That's how some kids are, maybe they need some discipline
2006-11-06 17:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They make you feel like you're going crazy because you love them and want the best for them! Being a single mother must be exhausting and very trying at times....I'm sure you're doing a great job. One thing that I would recommend is following through on directions. If they aren't doing the work that you're asking them to do maybe taking away privileges would make them realize that you are serious when you ask them to do something. It's really important though if you do make the threat of taking something away that you follow through! Otherwise your kids will walk all over you. Another suggestion: Try taking some time for yourself, if you can--get a sitter and get out of the house for a bit. If not make sure that you have time set aside for yourself, maybe after the youngest goes to bed? A 9 and 12 year old should be able to manage for an hour while you take some time. Or even after everyone goes to sleep...make sure that you are taking time for you! It's just as important as making sure that your kids are happy...if you are happy it will reflect upon your kids behavior.
2006-11-07 10:54:32 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a single mom of 3 and 11 and I feel your pain my friend! With my 11 yr old I feel like all I do is nag, nag, nag and yammer at her about this or that. But then I have to stop. I am the mom and she is the child. She is doing what kids do best! She's at that pre-teen stage where Mom is stupid, Mom is mean, Mom demands too much, Mom expects too much, etc! If she's not sassing me she's aggrivating the snot out of her little brother. It's a constant scream fest with those two and sometimes it's hard to tell who the 11 yr old is and who the 3 yr old is! Let me suggest this, though. If there is anyway possible for you to find a few hours out of the week for JUST YOU....then take advantage of it. If you have parents or family members who are willing to baby sit for you a couple of hours out of the week.....take them up on this offer. My kids go to their dad's house every other weekend and let me tell you! It's my saving graces for my sanity! Good luck, girl! If you need to vent or need a sounding board....drop me an email!
2006-11-07 16:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you dont expect to much from them your a mother that's what mothers do. About them not doing anything, well their just being lazy you could maybe try sitting down with each one and explain to each one that you wouldn't nag them so much if they picked up after themselves, it might be difficult for the young one to understand but the two older ones should know better.
2006-11-07 01:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by mizz_shrimp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you are expecting too much from them. First of all, I commend you for being a single mom, that is a tough job! Have you tried offering them allowance or something similar for picking up after themselves? Your two older ones should understand if you sit down and explain how much you love them, but that there is only ONE of you, that you really need some help from them. I don't know if you take certain things away if they don't clean up after themselves..(like, they can't go to friends houses or have friends over, no sports, stuff like that)...Maybe reward them or praise them for picking up after themselves when they do...Good luck! Hang in there!
2006-11-07 01:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by Renee B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discipline them and then follow through. I will bet a thousand dollars that there is not discipline in your home. You have let them trash the house then you pick it up get mad and yell but nothing happens. Maybe you should spank them or ground them.
Yes spanking is TERRIBLE I know it ruins kids lives and cause major social problems. Really? Does it? Do you have a ruined life? Do you have social problems? Does 98% of this nation have them? What about the rest of the world? Ask any elderly parent and they'll tell they spanked their kids and they turned out fantastic.
2006-11-07 01:54:53 · answer #6 · answered by K.C. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids may get scared and even will learn to avoid us if they see that we are irritated frequently by what they do.
I believe that the best thing to do is to try to see things their way. This may give us a clue to why they are doing what they are doing. Immagine that u are back their age and try to feel things their way, though It may not be easy to recall things for various reasons,. Still it helps a lot.
When my kids do things that make me mad, I often try to remember what I was doing to my dad, and his reactions. Most of the time I find myself already calmed down, in the process. For your surprise I have also ended up laughing a lot. After that I can discuss the matter with them, when I am free of strong emotions. I have seen that this works better.
2006-11-07 04:20:17 · answer #7 · answered by MA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many parents feel the exact same way. It's beyond frustrating isn't it? Take away privileges until they get done what they need to get done. No computer, no TV, no phone, no friends until their rooms are clean and they put away any things lying around. The 9 and 12 year old know better but you will have to train the 3 year old.
2006-11-07 07:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think spanking will solve your problem .. it's just too late, esp. with the 9 and 12 years kids. This is the age of open discussions. Sit with them, explain your problems and feelings in a simple way (by giving expamples or telling stories) tell them what you expect from them.
Give them simple orders and explain the consequences. rewarding/punishment almost work at this ages.
2006-11-07 02:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by aaa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! You sound exactly like me. Mine are 6, 8, 10. Sometimes I get so upset i hear ringing in my ears. It's because we care I guess. You see those stay at home mom's who would rather wipe a kids butt than teach them how to do it themselves. I gotta work to put food on the table and they cant even put away their clothes after i wash, dry and fold. I love em but sometimes I just feel like im at my wits end, My mom used to say that, I never knew what it meant til I had kids.
2006-11-07 01:55:01 · answer #10 · answered by twysty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just spank them, dang, not hard, or with a belt, just a little smack on the head if they get out of hand it'll work just fine. That is what my parents did to me and I have no social problems that is a load of bull. You will be more respectful and better behaved if you know that if you screw up PURPOSELY, you will get hit. Trust me.
2006-11-07 02:00:05 · answer #11 · answered by sotirakis5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋