Any advice for a new stay at home mom?

Question

Ok so I quit my job nearly a year ago to stay home with our son who is now 14. My job was stressful and taking away from my family life so I decided to be a stay at home mom so that I can be more attentive to my husband and son. So now nearly a year later I find myself constantly worrying about things all the way from my health to our bills (and we hardly have ANY). I feel like I constantly have to be doing something. I don't know how to relax. I don't know what to do with myself. My husband says if I want to go back to work that's fine and if I don't well that's fine too. A part of me feels guilty and I don't even know for what. I've worked my whole life since I was 17 (I'm now 30) and it's like I don't know how to handle life without a job. Is that weird?

Answer 1

Not weird at all! I've been home since 2002. Started off, the birth of my last child, and now ended off being medical, had a cornea transplant last december and now about to have the other eye done next month. I am excited that I should have perfect eyesight beginning next summer, but I am estatic that I may be able to go out and get a job. Mind you, not a career, my family is my career and I had my own graphic design business, but I mean a J.O.B. As most career women like yourself, we began working so early and for so long that we don't know how to do nothing. Alright, so find something to do. What do you do as a hobby now? Make it your own career. Do you know, this million dollar 'make a bear' business started as a hobby? I'm sure there is something that you like to do everyday that people just know its Your knack. Take it a parlay it into your new career move. I'm sure making some money on the side wont hurt either! smile, good luck.

Answer 2

No, it's not weird. I kind of feel the same way. I'm a stay at home mom. I have a 16 month old son, and I feel like I could be contributing more than I am. Everyone tells me that I raise my son and that's my job, but I disagree. Raising my son is NOT a job, it's my life. I don't consider him to be a "job". I need to contribute to society as well as my home. It's just who I am. Perhaps you can start to work part time, or pick up a class or two. I plan on working part time in a couple months.

Answer 3

no,not weird at all. I had tried to stay home and couldnt do it. I love my kids and husband, but I had been working for so long that I felt that I wasnt doing my part. Before I stayed home I worked full time and took care of the house, bill, cleaning, cooking, etc. Then when I left my job for a year. I felt that I was not putting into the household like I use to. My husband kept on telling me that me staying home is a contribution and not to think of it otherwise. Never the less, I went back to work because I was driving myself crazy. here is how a day went while I wasnt working...

I had the house cleaned by 10am everyday. It was so bad that I was finding things to clean that didnt need it. what to do with all that time? I shared time with the kids that even they were sick of me...watching a little TV (which I hate) and hung out in the kitchen, waiting for hubby to come home for adult interaction..It got to the point where my mind would wander wonder what is hubby doing and I worried about my kids if they didnt come home right on time from school...

my advice.. join the PTA, be a teachers aide, volunteer at the school library.. something that allows you to interact with other adults and doesnt let your mind wander if you want to stay home. the plus is that you will maintain a hand in your child's education.

Answer 4

Perhaps you could join a volunteer group in your area like at a hospital, woman's shelter, food bank, or some other charity. This way, you don't feel like you're "stuck at home" and unproductive, you'll help those that need it, and you'll probably meet some interesting people along the way. You could also sign up for substitute teaching. It's not an everyday gig, you get some extra spending money, and again you get out of house every so often.

You could even take a course at local community college that sounds interesting to you, i.e. ceramics, piano, art appreciation.

What about starting a "stay-at-home mom's club" in your neighborhood. Once a week you ladies get together, rotate houses, and start a book discussion, scrapbooking, new adventures in cooking, what have you.

You must remember to take care of yourself including body, mind, and spirit so that you can stay focused on what matters to you the most -- your husband and son.

Best of luck to you and kudos for all that you're accomplishing!

Answer 5

Balance is the key. My wife recently went back to work after having four kids mainly for interaction with someone above the age of 6. Like you she was constantly worried about things like bills when there was not a lot but enough money to go around and since she went back to work she doesn't worry so much about the same stuff. You're always going to worry about something no matter what you're doing. I would advise maybe having a job that didn't take so much away from the home life but still gave you your own time to be yourself separate from the family. When it comes to time with your family it's the quality time not the quantity.

Answer 6

go back to work, but on a part time basis. Since money is not the reason you are working, find a job you really like, like working at the library or dog grooming, or street sweeper (these are just random ideas, by the way!) Or find somewhere that needs volunteers, like a charity, hospital or nursing home. Bringing joy into another persons life is priceless, and seeing what others have had to go through can put your life into perspective.

Or have another baby!! That will fill up all your free time!!

Answer 7

Start working out. Take online college classes (need help finding one, email me...I take one a semester while I am momming at home). Find some short term goals. Since your son is 14, he is probably in school all day. You could volunteer during the morning or even get a job with his school or the school district so that you have the same schedule. Good luck.

Answer 8

Hi,

do some part time work from home :-) Here's something where you can sign up for free as an affiliate and promote online as well as offline:
http://affiliate.allsat.com/?SESSID=37da5b69620e624d6e9f3f96189393cc&kbid=12482

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Best wishes
Mike

P.S. Yes, I already earned some money with them!
P.P.S. Using the internet you can actually do this from anywhere in the world.

Answer 9

Have you considered working at the school? Either the one your child goes to or one nearby. You could volunteer in the PTA or be a room mom or something or they have several paid part tim positions, and the hours are great and closed all summer too! This way you can still be somewhat working, but with not as much of a committment as a full time job.

Answer 10

No! some people just have a problem staying at home they have to stay busy. Have you ever consider volunteer work? Find a place that you can volunteer. that fits your schedule. It will keep you busy plus give you purpose in your life. Try volunteering at your childs school. You might want to think about subsutite teaching. I have done that and it allowed me to get paid for it as well as be their for my son. It doesn't pay much but it allowed me to make money and still be there for my son. He is in the 7th grade now and I don't subsitute. But I did it when he was in the 4th and 5th grade. You can also work in a cafeteria at a school. You make money but still get the same times off as your child. especially if you work at the same school in which your child goes to. Good luck!! I even had a friend who drove a school bus while her kids were in school.