are having a collection for someone that you secretly don't like (say for a birthday or wedding present)- how do you get out of donating without admitting you don't like the person or giving the impression that you are a tighta.ss stingebag and making the situation awkward?
2006-11-06 16:27:27 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Why be secretive about who you dislike? Pointedly say in a loud voice "I hate that so and so and I would not give them the pickings of my nose. Do not bother me again with requests for monies for said individual as I loathe and despise them ."
It is honest and lets others know how you feel. It won't win you any friends though...
2006-11-07 00:09:47 · answer #1 · answered by keefer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My experience in the workplace has been that tides turn. How horrible is this person you don't like? If he or she is not that bad and your differences are petty, I say make a small contribution.
Snubbing the coworker will only encouarge others to not support you when it's your turn to be on the receiving end. It doesn't have to be about a gift, either. For example, I've been asked by my boss what I thought about an employee that I had a pretty frosty relationship with. He was considering firing her. Even though I really didn't care for the girl, there were a few things, here and there, that she did that were "nice" and I put in a few good words about her positive assets.
The more friends you have at work, the better....even if they're not "best" freinds.
2006-11-06 18:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not easy, but I have learned to put my feelings aside in these situations. Consider that you are bigger than some Git. If you can afford a pound or two, fine, if you have less, so be it.
Sometimes the most unlovely are the ones who need to be reached out to with a kindness.
Give what you can freely give, and do so with no apologies needed. "Gee I have but x to spare, but no problem."
Once at uni I worked in an office with several others. We had a secret Father Christmas thing going on. I asked to get in on it. It turned out that everyone else was paired up. For five days I gave my opposite a broach, all part of a matched set. Come to find out five women from the office nearest mine had decided to adopt me. They showed up at an off campus party--each wearing a broach of different colours!
I was rewarded with nice, inexpensive things, including a little Teddy,
These women, ranged age 18 to 40+ made my holidays. They could have turned me down, but the kindness multiplied all the way round.
Overall, the experience taught me that kindness, no matter to whom we are directing it will somehow come back to us.
2006-11-06 17:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are people just putting money in an envelope or is it a specific amount. If it's just putting money in an envelope you could pretend to put some money in. If it was me, I would hold my head up high and say that unfortunately, you do not like this person and that you would be a hypocrite if you gave to the collection. They may not like it, but they will have to respect your wishes.
2006-11-08 09:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by patsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked in a large office where we made good money, and I got so sick of always having parties for eveything, I just wanted to work. But I think it's better to just donate. If you want to get promoted, you have to be a team player. I didn't like the parties interfearing with my production and quality time, sorry. Office politics is everything you know ! I didn't like the distractions, but when you're outnumbered, majority rules. It's often not what you know, or how smart you work, as well as who you know. It's the American way, face it.
2006-11-06 18:31:42 · answer #5 · answered by noface 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just tell them straight, and why do you have to secretly not like them, tell everybody. Maybe it's just me, but I am very honest and tell people exactly what I think. If you don't put in any money then you don't sign the card and the receiver will know how you really feel about them so don't worry.
2006-11-07 04:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by pampurredpuss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We do that at my work. But they don't ask nobody personally we just set up an area for collections. If I don't like the person I don't give money. If someone ask you why your not give money. Do you really have to explain yourself. If so, Just tell them that money is kind of tight right now, something came up.
2006-11-06 16:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by kira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Presumably whoever does the collection just passes an envelope around and ticks your name off the list. If you dislike the person you put in a small amount. You do not have to justify yourself.
I used to be in charge of collections when people were leaving and one person always said "I prefer to give my own gift". I never checked whether she did or not. It was her affair, not mine.
2006-11-06 18:06:59 · answer #8 · answered by WISE OWL 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is actually rude of them to ask for money. If any one feels the need to do this at work put the jar in the tea room and let people make their own choice. It is never ending - we have our hands in our pockets constantly. We do not go to work to supplement others incomes. Just say no. Hopefully they are not even more rude and ask why.
2006-11-06 17:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a difficult one!!!
at workplace its really difficult and unwise to act against the tide. if u hve a higher designation its okay to say no in a nice way. but if u r a normal employee i dont think it wud b wise to say NO. trust me som of ur collegues feel the same way u do, but they also dont want make situations unpleasant!!
if u r planning to stay in this job longterm, if u r happy with ur employer u have to compromise on certain thngs, may be like this one.
in workplace be bit diplomatic, it wud work and pay off
2006-11-06 16:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by mimpi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋