Would you stay with your BF/GF just for bedroom activities?

Question

I feel that my 4 yr relationship is going down the drain (for those who have read my past questions/answers know). I am having trouble walking away for many reasons, but one huge one is that the sex is so great. He knows me so well and gives it to me how I want it. I can't seem to just give that up!


Have you ever stayed with someone just for this reason? is it worth it?

Thanks so much for your kind advice :)

I know it is hard for people to answer this question without backround information so here is a quckie, hopefully you will read it and try to understand me better.

I love this guy to death, I would do anything for him but In my heart I know he does not treat me well. He has cheated on me once maybe twice, I pay for everything and don't get thank yous and he is really disrespectful to women. He does have his great sides though he is often very kind to me, makes me laugh all the time, makes me feel safe with him, and then theres the sex part.

I think I can be treated better by someone else I am just saying I am still in love with him and its hard to leave... the great sex makes it even harder.

but DAMN some of you are mean!
thanks to the kind people :)

Answer 1

You shouldn't stay in the relationship just for the sex. But I do feel that after 4 years of satisfying sex, your BF hasnt lost interest in you. I mean, as a guy I can honestly say that if I aint interested in the relationship then the sex goes bad too. And since you still have deep feelings for him, you should focus on mending things between the two of you. Sometimes you talking to him all the time about fixing things just isn't enough.. maybe its time for you to start making a change by starting with you. By doing that he will notice the effort & start making changes from his side. If he really isn't interested then he wont make those changes & you will be able to make a more calculated decision from there. Give it some effort & time & things will work out.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

Remember when you first met and how it's taken you think long to learn about each other sexually?

Everyone is the same, and when you get past the initial lust of a new relationship it's this intimacy that takes over and improves your sexlife.
This is a 'learned' thing, it's a point you will reach with all your relationships after so long and isn't particular to this guy, it might be a problem for a while because you wiil start to compare new boyfriends straight away which puts them in a no win situation

To an extent the two things shouldn't be linked to make you come to a decision about your future, you should be looking for a relationship that is right (or near as damn it) in all areas and if it's not right you need to move on.

One of the main reasons people don't end relationships is the feeling of security which you'll certainly have after 4 years, that warm cozy feeling of being with someone as opposed so out there single all on your own. The fact is being single isn't like that even though it is daunting after so long, you look very young and i'm thinking 4 years is far too long at your age anyway.

I think you already know the answer to your question but would feel a bit better if a few people came along to tell your doing the right thing.

I think you know what you need to do.

Answer 3

Simple answer, dump him.

Sex is not a reason to keep a disloyal lover.

One of these days he will come home with Syphillis, Ghonerea, Herpes or AIDs and then where will you be.

Plus it sounds like you are thinking what is good for the gander is good for the goose as well. He cheated on you so now you want to keep him around solely for sex and try and find a better relationship in the meanwhile. That is just wrong.

The thing about Romance is there is always another person out there for you if you are willing to just look.

Dump him and move on.

Answer 4

I think some of the people are trying to get you to wake up!! If he is not kind to you... maybe even hitting you then he is using you for a sexual release until he finds someone else and he will dump you on the spot.... You have to ask yourself if this is what is going on and if this is how you want to be treated all your life...

You start excepting this kind of behavior then you will only meet/ be with people with this type of behavior. If you really want to meet someone and have a true long term loving relationship then YOU have to stop excepting this type of behavior and move on.

There are so many people out there that are looking for someone to love and be loved that they might walk right past you and you won't know it because you are "in this relationship"

I hope you find someone to treat you right- good luck!

Answer 5

Honey, he just isn't worth it, despite the great sex. Great sex on it's own, does not make a relationship.

You can get great sex with a man who will not cheat on you, respects you, and pays his fair share.

Real love is a two-way street. Right now you are the one making the relationship work, he isn't putting in the effort. Unfaithfulness? You paying for everything? Treating you with disrespect? That is not a real man, that is a selfish little boy.

Iin life, you have to value yourself. The more you value yourself, the less you will attract people who don't value you.

Just remember, he isn't the only man in the world. There is someone out there for you who can be all that for you. Believe it.

Good luck.

Answer 6

No matter how great is the sex is, it's always not a good reason to stay in a relationship just for the heck of it. You can have that anyway, without having committed to each other. Why stay in a relationship without love?... your just wasting your time, and effort. Your still young and beautiful.. there are lots out there... sex is all around... but true and lasting love knocks only once....

Answer 7

I think you look like a little sweetheart, and I am positive you could do better. And with a little coaching from you, your next lover could be just as good. You may even learn something new and exciting from him.

Good sex is hard to walk away from.. I know. It kept me in my last relationship far longer than I should have stayed- (hard to give up a full-time swallower).

Anyway- in answer to your questions.. yes I have. And I don't think it was worth it in the long run.

Although I DO sometimes miss the back of her throat..

Answer 8

If you ar 19 years old,and in a 4 year relationship,perhaps 15 years old was too young to start a relationship with this man .Starting a long term relationship so young works for a lot of people,but not everyone.When you find the right partner you may also discover this guy wasnt so hot in the sack anyway!

Answer 9

Well its great that you have a good sex life with him and that can help a relationship but if the love and friendship isn't there then I think you should move on. You'll find good sex with someone else and maybe even better because u'll be passionate with him and you'll love him. I'm not saying that u don't love the one ur with right now but you shouldn't hold on to something that's dead even if ur having good sex. Well I hope I helped.

Answer 10

It's definitely not worth it. I haven't read your past questions or whatever, but it's not worth it.

When you start dating someone, no matter what age you are, you are supposed to ask yourself ONE thing: Would you consider marrying this person?

If you're not in a 4 year relationship for love, you don't need to be in it. Love isn't sex. People today have sex and love confused and they use the word love interchangeably. It's not right.

Love is finding someone that you care about and giving them everything, and knowing that you are willing to care for them for the rest of your life. If you don't love him or you can't pictutre yourself with him forever, call it off.