should i tell him hes unintentionally abusive?

Question

i have been dating my boyfriend for about a month now but unofficially for about 3 months...another story...anywho, a few days ago he and i were fooling around and he was pressing really hard on my side. hehe of course i didnt notice it at the time but afterwards it hurt but i thought it was just a cramp, ya know? the next day there was a big bruise where he was pressing. i know it was completely unintentional. his biggest fear is hurting me emotionally (breaking my heart) and physically (im fragile due to my health...another long story...). i want to tell him to be more gentle but i dont want to hurt his feelings. i know once i tell him he'll be scared to death to even hold me again...luckily we both have been busy with work so he hasnt had the chance of seeing it yet...should i tell him? or ignore it and hope it never happens? please help

Answer 1

Be honest about your needs. He not supposed to be a mind reader. I am sure you can try to be tactful, but it needs to be unambigous... so he knows what your limits are and can trust you will assert yourself. It is disrespectful to him and you to let him hurt you. You can work together to find safe ways to snuggle. :)

Answer 2

Yes, you should tell him. He'll be upset if he sees it and you didn't. Just explain that it didn't hurt at the time he was pressing on your side, but that he needs to be a little more gentle with you. OK? Hope that helped. =)

Answer 3

You must tell him. He would want to know. Make sure he knows it changes nothing in your relationship and move on. Good luck.

Answer 4

yes, let him know, communication is great for a relationship.

Answer 5

well if you cant be honest in a relationship then that relationship is useless...................voice out ur concern..........bruises doesnt luk kool gal...........tell him that he shld be gentle the next time..............otherwise u will never njy.........