I have a very curious,wandering 7 yr old daughter. She wanders away from me on shopping trips and outings. She got lost at a theme park this summer. We got separated at the airport. I have discussed this with her many times,given consequences, and even cancelled some trips. I am seriously considering putting her back on reins. My mom thinks it's a good idea. This had become quite stressful. Any thoughts? Please no bashing, just honest advice and suggestions.
2006-11-06 15:06:22 · 21 answers · asked by susan k 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I think its a great idea..I never used reins on my children and my parents never used reins on me but if she wanders away from you then yes you need them...it is not safe to let her out of your sight.
2006-11-09 00:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
reins? is that a fancy way of describing those leashes people put on kids? if that's what you have to do, then do it. have you tried giving her a whipping for taking off? it's amazing what a sore behind does for a kid's memory. or how about, once you notice she's gone just a bit too far from you, call her name, then hide, so she can't find you? that ought to scare the bejesus out of her. maybe making her ride in a stroller would embarrass her out of her bad habit. or you could try not taking her places with you. when the rest of the family goes on a trip that requires air travel, she has to stay behind. no more shopping trips, or theme parks, either. while she's crying about not getting to go, you can tell her that she's done it to herself by taking off all the time. seven is old enough to know not to leave you like that. she's doing it because she can get away with it. i am curious as to how you reacted when you were reunited with her the times she got lost. i would also like to know what your idea of "consequences" is. by her behaviour, i'd say you're one of those time-out and reasoning parents. seems to be working great. you even give her an excuse, describing her as "curious". why don't you ask the fabled cat where her curiosity got her?
for the record, i'm not bashing, just being straightforward.
2006-11-06 15:22:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a damn good idea but as shes a little older why not give her the choice? In Boots the chemist you can buy wrist straps for the older child so it's not as obvious as reins but you still have full control. Take it with you and tell her that if she wanders off then they will be put on, or promise her a small treat if she manages to stay with you for a specified period. Take regular breaks so she gets used to it.
2006-11-06 18:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by madmoo0 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for children to understand the consequences of wandering off. I am surprised that even after getting lost a few times your daughter hasn't realised that being lost is no fun. I am really not sure what you can do, maybe try boundry setting in all areas of her life with also a focus in the area of staying with you when you are out. I do not think that reins are ever a good idea, especially not on a seven year old child. She just needs to learn to stay with you when she is told to. Maybe you should consult a councellor of some sort to discuss the issue with the both of you and to work on some strategies to trial.
2006-11-06 15:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lydjos 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Until she learns to remain by your side, I think it is fine at her age. While some may object and call you names for it, the fact of the matter it is the safest option for your daughter. What's worse? Your daughter "suffering the indignity" of being in reins, or her being kidnapped and molested (or worse) by a pedophile?
After a while of being in the reins she'll become embarrassed and ask you to no longer use them, after that you must make her wear it for a little while longer (another month or so) and then have her agree not to wonder away, because when she does you will place her right back in them for a minimum of 6 months (regardless of any pleading).
This will keep your daughter safe, teach her to be responsible, and give you some peace of mind.
2006-11-06 15:13:59 · answer #5 · answered by Scott 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I must admit that I have never used them. Thought about it. I opted for a more hands on approach. If we were in public she had to hold my hand or if we were in the super market she had to hold the side of the cart. I thought if I put her on a leash she could still dart out in front of a car or someone could cut it if they wanted to snatch her. As she has gotten a little older she can walk beside me. If she wont stay close then she has to go back to holding my hand. It worked!
2006-11-10 11:35:14 · answer #6 · answered by Jul L S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe instead of reins(which in my opinion is embarrassing for a 7 year old) you could tie each others wrists to a piece of string so it doesn't seem like your holding your daughter by a leash. that way she won't feel so embarrassed when her friends see her with you...
2006-11-06 15:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Can't you get a discreet wrist strap to achieve the same thing,
Mine did the same at 7 and got progressively worse running off at theme parks and supermarket.
2006-11-07 09:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by "Call me Dave" 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My Son is still complaiing about having to wear his harness when I take him for walks, but better to be safe than sorry.
He says his friends laugh at him, but hes only 28 years old, maybe I'll let him off in a couple of years time.
Hope this helps??
2006-11-06 16:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by budding author 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can threaten reins, but remember that you have to carry out your threat! I have a wrist leash that I threatened my 4 year old with the other day, and she said yes please!
2006-11-08 11:13:55 · answer #10 · answered by Bernice W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋