I'm 14 and have had a lot on my plate lately. How can I just wind down and relax?

Question

I'm 14 and lately I've had a lot on my plate lately. I've been questioning my friendships w/ these two girls, have been dealing with an insecurity of the way I look (even tho I am not fat, I feel fat. im a teen tho, u kno how these times are), I worry about what people think of me, I worry about how I can't get along w/ my sister and just a bunch of stuff I probably shouldn't even be worried about.

How can I just relax and stop worrying? Is this normal-do I need to see a counselor? These teen years are kinda confusing.

Answer 1

I have never been a 14y/o girl but a was a R.N. that worked for many years on psychiatric units and on an adolescent unit for a total of about a year.

It sounds normal that you and your sister don't get along and that you're concerned about it. Try to get along with her but realize that it may not be until you and she get older that it's possible to get along. My brother and I fought frequently until I was 18y/o. Now we are best friends.

It is normal to feel some anxiety when questioning relationships with friends. At 63y/o I still deal with that. Are there things that you and they could talk about that might make it possible to remain friends? That might help some.

As a 14y/o girl it is normal to be anxious about your weight and anything that relates to how you look and how attractive you are to the opposite sex. Your body has probably already started to make major changes and you know that your body will continue to change as you continue to mature. All of this makes a person unsure of themself because it's so new for you.

All of us worry about what other people think of us. Some people aren't aware of this in themselves and a lot of people lie about this. They say that they don't care what other people think but really they do; but they want other people to "think" they don't care. At 14y/o it is normal to be more concerned about this because of all the physical and emotional changes you are going through.

One way to help yourself not worry is to tell yourself the truth. When thoughts come into your mind, that doesn't automatically mean they are true or valid. The problem is that thoughts cause emotions whether they are true or not.

When you worry about your appearance, you can break into that worrying by telling youself that you don't have to look "perfect" to look "good".If you believe in God, so much the better. Then you can tell yourself that God decided to create you the way you are and that God does not make mistakes.

The idea is that when you keep telling yourself something that is both true and positive, that your emotions will follow and that you will feel good. It's like looking at the glass as 1/2 full or 1/2 empty. Both are true but thinking of the glass 1/2 full will cause you to feel good and thinking about the glass 1/2 empty will cause you to feel bad and worry.

Some of the other answers had good suggestions. Physical exercise helps a person be able to tolerate stress better. Being involved with some activity helps keep your mind off of thoughts that make you feel bad but are not necessarilly the truth.

The more you can talk about these feelings and concerns with trusted adults and with girlfriends, the more you will be able to put things in perspective and see yourself as a normal 14 y/o girl and are going through things all other 14y/o girls go through.

You seem like a very nice girl and your parents should be very proud of you. It is a blessing to them from God that you were born to be their daughter.

Answer 2

We all been there. Most teens think they are fat even though they are not. We look at magazines and movies all day of super skinny models that is not the real world and not healty. As long as you feel good that is the main thing. If you are eatting good food not just junk food and you exercise I am sure your fine.

Stop being hard on yourself. You need to mature by knowing that you should only care about what you think not others. In 10 year these people in your life will not longer be there. Every few years your life will change get used to it and know that you live with yourself a long long time. Make sure you love yourself then you will not care what others think.

Siblings always seem to disagree and argue. Actually this will bring you closer later in life (20's and 30's). You and your sister will become the best of friends as you mature. You will be bonded and the love will always be there so stop worrying.

Dont be so uptight, kick back at little. The best way to do this is to see on paper what it is you must do. Write down how you want to change, how to accomplish it, and anything bad in your life. Then start tackling the bad stuff and turn them positive. Any good changes you need to make take one a month and work on it.
You wont have time to worry and you will be improving yourself and maturing.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Sometimes people are so busy thinking that you should just "enjoy" your teen years, they forget to realize how truly trying these times really are. My advice (I'm way old enough to give it ;38): Find a place where you can be alone. Not your room, a quiet place outside. Try to sort out the important from the not-so-important stuff to worry about. Try to come to some sort of solution on how to deal with the way you feel about your self image, that's most important, and then everything will come from there. Feel good about yourself, you are very important to alot of people and really, it's what's on the inside anyway. Don't doubt your intuition about friendships, you're probably right. Maybe you'll end up just coming to terms with what you can't change. Good luck being a teen, it'll be over before you know it.

Answer 4

Honey, I know just what you mean. When I was 14, I had the worst ego in the world. I eventually got involved with things, met some fun people and felt better almost instantly. Almost everyone feels fat and self conscious about themselves at one time or another. I was like you, I wasn't fat, I just worried about everything and everyone. All I can say is that if you stop and look at other people your age, you will see that almost all of them have something they don;t like about themselves. Good luck.

Answer 5

It will help to get someone you can talk to about your feelings. I would suggest doing a hobby you really enjoy. Maybe join a gym/sport if you can. You can also jog/or walk at a park to relieve some stress.

Another good idea which helped me when I was your age..........write your feeling down in a journal/diary. There is a lot a learning about yourself to do at 14, you are going through a lot of changes. It is normal.

Answer 6

Just keep in mind that 14 is only temporary....the teens are only temporary...Plan what you want in life and live according to those goals. Look to the future and when you can change your surroundings...I as a teenager relaxed dreaming about what I will do when I am on my own..I lived for the joy of the future.

Answer 7

Make good grades and prepare for college. College is when you'll find that having your own biases in the "best" outcome for people will hurt more than it helps, and you'll try to become as neutral as possible in helping others and become a sect-free counselor.

Answer 8

Counseling can not hurt if you are open to it. A great way to chill out and try not to worry is to laugh, watch a funny movie, listen to a comedian or simply just color. Yes with Crayons! I am 33 and I color to ease the stress level from three kids , two of them teenagers.

Answer 9

you need us at yahoo answers to help you so sit back and relax and laugh at all the other peeps and their problems and try to figure out what to say to them and make up some really good anwers and get some 10 pointers and then you will forget you even had problems

Answer 10

i know EXACTLY how you feel girly!!
you aint along
ha
trust me
sometimes when i am stressed
i light a candle [or more ifyou prefer]
turn out the lights
spray some perfume
get some choclate
and take a long hot bath
and maybe have a pedicure
medi petti and facials!!
hehe
very relaxing
feel better sweetie :)