My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. But he has a very hard time with performing oral sex. I do it for him, and not that I expect it to be something he needs to repay to me, but the fact that he won't do it makes me feel a bit bad about my body. Can't help but feel that he maybe finds me disgusting in some way.
He claims his problem comes from the 'texture' and it just makes him feel weird. He does have issues with texture with food too, that he can't eat. How can I help him with this problem, so that I don't feel so ignored and bad about my body?
And yes, I have talked to him about it, and the ressponse is always that the texture makes him kind of want to throw up.
2006-11-06 13:48:41 · 11 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I applaud your comment that you do not expect it as a repayment. Sex should never be considered a trade.
Please do not let his lack of interest give you a feeling that it is a reflection of you or your body. It is entirely HIS problem. I think the texture issue is a weak excuse. I understand issues of texture in food and use that knowledge to be a better cook. If his problem realy was just texture; he would never french kiss, suck on your lips, or eat lasagna. He may have an insecurity about his ability to be good at it. (There is little training available.) He may have had somebody in his past say something very derogatory about it. Or he may have had some poor counseling or religious missinformation to make him feel that oral sex is wrong.
Unfortunately for you, because it is HIS problem, there is nothing YOU can do. At least not directly. He needs therapy and it is generally a bad idea to be your date's therapist. (or counselor in any way.)
Option 1 - He goes to see a therapist to find the real reason he dislikes oral sex or gets the training so he likes doing it.
Option 2 - You resign yourself to giving head and not getting it.
Option 3 - Find another boyfriend.
When he said eating your P made him feel nausiated, I'd have been considering option 3 very seriously.
2006-11-06 14:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Trailcook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, and sorry this is gross, but you might want to be clean shaven for him. A mouth full of hair kinda is gross. Second, if he whines about texture, tell him the next time you give him oral you'll save some of his "texture" to try out. I've never given a girl oral but I'm thinking it's a lot easier on the jaw, less messy, and easier than giving a guy oral. The only thing I think would be worse about giving it to a girl is maybe cause you got to get so close and maybe the taste and smell when doing it is worse but it's got to be less gross than the ending with a guy.
2006-11-07 09:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by kayla j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Babe! I would not feel bad about your body...just think of it this way..he is really missing out!!!!! maybe it is the texture, if he has problems with that! Well when he wants some...say u are sick and startn o notice that you do not like putting ur mouth on hard and long things!!! maybe it will get him thinkn...To be serious, i find that his excuse is bull crap, if he loves you, and wants to satify you to the intimacy level, then what is his problem. Do not feel bad about yourself, certainly i would take time from sexually activity from him...completely, and tell him how you feel. Texture....hmmmmm, i really never heard of that. just take some time, and do not use syrup, or food products down there...it will cause yeast and bacterial infections...if you are clean... then ur naturally odors and taste will come out...and my experience my boyfriend loves it..(that is what he tells me!!!!)...maybe try shaving...if that is the promblem to texture. Otherwise I would not worry babe! ur natual and beauitful! and I would feel comfortable about myself.
2006-11-06 14:01:35 · answer #3 · answered by old 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its possible that he has a sensitive tongue and can't abide certain textures. Or it's psychological, he could have had negative experiences with certain foods while he was growing up. In either case, it's not your fault. If he feels ill while trying to give you oral sex, don't force him to do so. Talk to him and find other ways that he can please you.
2006-11-06 13:53:29 · answer #4 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can imagine you feel bad about this. Try not to take it too personal. I don't really like giving oral to my boyfriend and I LOVE him more than anything but sucking on something that you pee out of grosses me out a little lol.
2006-11-07 07:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by Alyss K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try getting some edible flavor oils. It is possible that it might take his mind off the texture or try using chocolate syrup or whipped cream. Then he will forget what he is doing and relax more.
2006-11-06 13:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like his dislike for performing oral sex is not a personal issue with you. He just does not like it. Don't take it personal, we all have our preferences. If you need oral sex in your relationship you might think about moving on.
2006-11-06 13:54:44 · answer #7 · answered by jejenkins78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
, WOW! BUMMER! And kinda' hard to believe, not that I think he's being dis-honest but as for myself it is a totally awesome experience that I derive great pleasure from. I couldn't imagine having sex and not doing THAT. Unfortunately, I guess, some men don't like it. Maybe he will change. Good luck.
2006-11-06 14:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by Albatross 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always get him a little drunk (not totally drunk) enough to calm his mind to see if it is a mental thing. Get him all worked up, and have him go at it... of course again I stress to not get him totally drunk or that could be a disaster in itself just from the alcohol....
Either way, its something your going to have to work on with him and be patient, or live without. Good Luck.
2006-11-06 13:55:28 · answer #9 · answered by eloriarl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no oral sex for him
until he does three times for you
2006-11-06 13:50:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋