is my son going to leave me?

Question

my 12 yr old son james has been overhearing me and my husbands fights and my son keeps writing notes saying that he was going to run away because of it. he has done it 10 times now and he always turns up missing and it takes me hours to find him. but this time i think its more serious. hes been at his friends house for 4 days now, and i dont know if he's really there or not. he hasnt called me since the day he left. should i be worried? could he have gone somewhere other than his friends? he did tell me that he was going to but i figured he was being overly dramatic. should i worry that he really is going to ? or should i just wait and see if he calls soon?

OKAY, TO ALL OF YOU SAYING HOW COULD YOU LET UR CILD BE MISSING FOR 4 DAYS, HE WAS SPENDING THE NIGHT AST HIS FRIENDS FOR 3 AND I THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE JUST BEEN GONE FOR LONGER! OK B*TCHES??

Answer 1

Excuse me for being blunt here, but what kind of parent are you that you don't have more control over your 12 year old? Number one and most important, you are the parent bring his but back home! Number two and also very important, if the parents only argue in front of a child and teach him there is no love in the house, they're asking for trouble. If the two of you can't make a stable home for a 12 year old maybe it's time to consider giving him two homes.

Answer 2

Well, first of all you should call his friends house and find out if he is there and if not, you need to ask his friend if he knows where your son is. If he can't or won't tell you, then you need to call the police and report your child as a runaway. Your child is only 12 years old, you need to find him. My 16 year kept running away and I finally reported him to the poilce as a run away, the sheriff's office brought him home and he has never run away again.

Do not wait and and see if you son will call you, he could be in grave danger if he isn't at his friends house, what if his friends parents told him to go home and he went off with someone else? Twelve year old boys are not invincible, please, go find him. And, once you do find him, you had better listen the next time he says he is going to runaway and you and your husband should get counseling to prevent any future arguments, this is obviously very distressing to your son.

Answer 3

A couple of things stand out here. First of all pick up a phone and call this friend's parents. Responsible parents should not harbor a young person without a parent's permission. They would be wrong to do so.

And gone 4 days?!? - are you nuts? - call the police, search high and low for this child and get him back home where he belongs.

Your situation with you husband may be problematic, but that does not excuse what the son has done. He has to learn that just because things don't do his way at home, and aren't ideal - he can't run off when it suits him to do so. It is dangerious and illegal.

Also you and your husband need to decide to put his welfare first, and stop fighting. Separate if necessary but do not fight, he will blame himself.

Answer 4

You have a 12 year old that's doing this to you? Wow, you have family issues. Ok, yes! You should go after him! Duh. You don't just let a 12 year old go running around by themselves for 4 days! You obviously don't care about him at all and he knows it. I wouldn't expect him back for a long long time. Unless of course, he needs money. Which, by the way, he will, but he may not get it from you! He may or may not come back. Esp. if he's got friends to take care of him because you sure aren't! I would call the friends house, and, if he's not there, call the police! Once you find him, take away a privilage. He is a rebelious child and needs good punishment or else he will continue with his behavoir into adolesence. Good luck!

Answer 5

Everyone says that they are going to run away all the time and a lot of them get far but they don't get very far. I guess it's as stage they go through. They feel like things aren't going right and if they were somewhere else things would be better. Most kids get it early than your son.

There are still things that you and your husbands could do to make him feel better and I think you know what the idea is. If he doesn't get over it in a 2-4 months you need to talk to an experts.

Answer 6

Don't you think it's past time for you all to get some professional counselling? There are various places to go and I think the first plan of attack is to you local church, synagogue or mosque. He is too young to be out on his own and I'd be surprised if you don't get the needed help that he'll wind up with the wrong people, or put himself in the possibility of being placed in a facility since he is still a minor. If your husband is abusive, then you better take your child and children and hightail it to a safer environment. He has done it over 10 times? Honey, he's not being overdramatic. Your whole family needs help, NOW!!!

Answer 7

OMG! I can not believe that you want to know if you should be worried. HE IS 12 YEARS OLD FOR GODS SAKE! Do you not know that there are perverts out there just waiting for a child like your son. I just hope that it is not too late. For all you know he could be DEAD. You should of started looking for him the very moment that you knew he was gone and tried to deal with the problem instead of letting him think that you don't care at all. I have 3 sons and 7 grandchildren and if they were missing for even a moment I would move Heaven and Hell to find them. I just hope that he is with a friend's parents and that they are doing your job and taking care of him. You should be glad that I don't know who you are because I would call the CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES and report you. WAKE UP WOMAN, before it is to late.

Answer 8

First of all, if he is only 12 and has been missing 4 days, you can NOT just wait and see. Go to the friend's house and see if he is there. If he is not, then you NEED to call the police and file a missing persons report.

Answer 9

You should definitely find him. Once you do, then tell him that you are taking his threats seriously now and you want to put things right. Sort things out with your husband and make sure your son doesn't hear you fighting anymore. if you don't help your son now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Always be open and available to him when he needs to talk and try understanding things from his perspective. But DO sort those marital problems out as well.

Answer 10

well you are the adult.... find your son!! what is more important the fights or your son!?! Your husband and you need help so get some.. If you two can't seem to resolve anything then i don't no what to tell you. But if I were in your shoes and nothing happens between me andmy husband i would probably get my son away from that surrounding, especially the way your son is reacting to you both! Good Luck!