"If you are considered pretty where you come from you will be considered beautiful in Italy"?

Question

My friends parents read this and are actually freaking out about it (they read quite a few other things also though). I have a girlfriend who is going to Italy for a few weeks with her school....it is true she is a very beautiful girl and even gets harassed here in the U.S. where guys are generally less open. Her parents have read all the stereotypes about Italian men and are now worried. We both have told them that they are stereotypes and nothing else but neither of us have been to Italy before and that is something that they pointed out. Any ideas as to what to do about them? Thanks!

Wow, I wasn't expecting offensive answers.....maybe you misread my question.

rgobio- When I said "Any ideas as to what to do about them?" I didn't mean the Italian men but my friends parents. I WAS NOT putting down anybody and sorry if you thought I was....geesh

Wow, I wasn't expecting offensive answers.....maybe you misread my question.

rgobio- When I said "Any ideas as to what to do about them?" I didn't mean the Italian men but my friends parents. I WAS NOT putting down anybody and sorry if you thought I was....geesh

Answer 1

Helloooooooooo????? Americans here????? Will you please stop thinking that all Italian men are sex maniacs walking around drooling over all these poor American girls coming here and for sure be raped and harassed?

Give us a break! It is true that some men here like to comment on beautiful women, it is true that we also have our sex maniacs, but the chances of being harassed or raped are exactly the same as in any other nation.

If you can't live with the fact that a few men will tell you appreciation phrases such as "ciao bella" or "bella ragazza", please, stay home.

And, by the way, what Americans say about being groped or pinched here, is a MYTH. Groping and pinching is a CRIME, in Italy, and punished by law, so you don't really see many men doing it, don't you think? If they do, they'll be jailed!

Answer 2

pierluisa......I can understand how these questions can get annoying, but you have to understand that Italian men have a rep over here and it isn't always good. Now this girl isn't the one saying anything bad about Italian men, she's smart enough to realize its a STEREOTYPE.....its the parents.

I went to Italy when I was 15 years old. Her parents should not worry.....while people may compliment and flatter you, no one will touch you (unless you put out the signals, but hey, that's in any country). Italy is very low on crime, the only real crime that it has for people to actually worry about is pick pockets....though while I was there I didn't have any experience with that either. Just tell her parents that they shouldn't buy into everything they read....considering none of you have been there (I'm assuming her parents haven't either) they shouldn't judge. If you think it would help look up Italy's crime rates on the computer....you will see that sexual harassment reports do not occur often.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I have heard these things and I even asked a question here for safety tips when in Rome.
I am considered very pretty also and get complimented by quite reserved people, and some not as reserved people. So naturally from what I have heard I was a little worried about the men in Italy.
Though, your friend will most often be with a group of friends since she is going with school so I don't think that she should worry too much. Just tell her if she runs into any suspicious men or scary relentless ones for that matter, to run in the other direction if something does not seem right. And to try to stay in well lit promisicuous locations to be safe. Oh, and to go out with friends when she does go out in the evening.

Well, I hope she has fun and tell her to stay safe. :D
You don't get the chance go to Italy everyday, so tell her to make the most of it and don't let creepy guys ruin her fun.

Answer 4

Hi, I'm Italian, 25 years old and I lived in the States from age 17 until I was 24. So now here I am, back in Italy. What I've come to realize is that yes, Italian men are quite annoying with their silly, flirty remarks (and frankly they do it with less than pretty ladies as well). However, they bark but don't bite. I live in Milan which I find to be one of the most dangerous cities for a girl. I can't walk alone at night, I'll get harassed in a heart beat. But it's never Italian men, it's always guys from Morocco, Albania, Egypt and so on (not looking for a nationality war here, just stating who has bothered ME so far). So, even though I'm the first one to dislike men calling me honey, dolcezza, bellezza, hottie and so on (and I'm talking about men that do not know me personally), I have to say that Italian men are not that bad, they're just pathological flirts :)

Answer 5

Everyone is beautiful in Italia. The Italians see people from the inside out. They are the most gentle, loving and real people you can find. You're girlfriend will be fine with the Italians. Its the tourist that she has to worry about. She should just use common street sense. But she's safer in Italy than anywhere in the US. Italian men are not drooling dogs. Too many movies!

Answer 6

im also from the states and ive been living in italy for the last 4 years, i know im not considered an ugly girl, but what i recall, the first few months i was harassed a lot by bus, by sidewalk, even by train. i dont want to scare you, but its true.

one thing i want to point out is, many many MANY of the men who harassed me, where NOT italians. that was the sick part. i dont want to give the italians a bad name, because truly it wasn them who passed by the street whispering at you Ciao Bella, or sticking their tongue at you at the bus, or asking for your name at the train.

i remember one wierd funny thing that happened to me the first weeks was, i remeber i was walking to class early in the morning, it was like 8:30 am, the streets were clean and empty, few people walking aroudn and it was along a main street. when all of a sudden, as i was crossing along an old old man, shorty and small, he was wearing a suit and obviously walking to work, he was no younger 60. and right as we were crossing each other the old man jumped and looked at me yelling out, 'Mamma Mia che bella!!!' meaning in 'wow! how beautiful!'. i take that as a good joke memory than a harrassed one.

over all, i dont think the idea of not having your friend go just because of this issue,or overly worry in this case, i dont think it woudl be a big issue, because c'mone...you cant expect to go to a beautiful touristy place in the world where you wont comfront issue liek these.

just make sure your friend isnt the type who falls for some dumbass yelling your so beautiful or knows how to react when a guy sticks his toungue at her at the bus, simply ignore making it obviouse or report to the carabinieri.

what i do nowadays after living here so long, is yell back at them 'va fanculo' with the fiorentine accent and it keeps them well surprised not expecting an american to speak back directly with teh exact tone. and they feel stupid at the end.

hope my advice helps!

Answer 7

Not worry! I would ask same things....I understand. There is always a stereotypes of people. Is common human nature. Have to figurre out what real and what not for ourselfes. Tell her parents not judge having never been there.

Italian man do not disrespect women in general.....and they know of the body language. You do not give out signs and they leave alone. But if one is bothering, learn to insult him mother in Italiano ;) he will leave then!

Good Luck!

Answer 8

italian men are interested in any other people that are from any part of america, usa or latinas.
yea, u could call it a stereotype. tell the parents not to be worried! ciaociao! :-D

Answer 9

I lived in Italy for two years. I don't really know how I was perceived in Canada (probably not as drop-dead gorgeous), but in Italy I was treated like a goddess. It was offensive. I really hoped that guys would want to get to know me for who I was, but I met very few men who could get past my looks. I hardly ever dated someone for more than one or two dates because I felt like they stared at my breasts all night, didn't listen to a word I said, and then wanted to shove their tongue down my throat as quickly as possible.

Times when it was good to be "pretty":
- getting into every nightclub without waiting in line
- getting invited to super-posh parties for minor celebs (who we didn't even know)
- getting my male students to behave in ESL class

Times when it was bad to be "pretty":
- getting my female students to behave in ESL class
- getting physically assaulted and groped at a bus stop in the city center in the middle of the afternoon
- in the South, being solicited for sex twelve times while waiting at a bus stop in the afternnon (wearing a sweater and pants)
- asking a guy for directions and having him respond by kissing me on the lips

It's a trade-off. If your girlfriend thrives on the attention she gets for being pretty, she'll like Italy. I don't think there is anything a naturally pretty girl can do to prevent this kind of behaviour in Italy. You've just got to respond to it in a way that minimizes the impact. I'll admit that when I was assaulted at the bus stop I took that with me to work and broke down in tears in the middle of the lesson I was teaching. That's not minimizing behaviour. You've just to accept it as part and parcel of living in Italy: some men think they have the right to hold you down and grope your breasts and don't perceive that as inappropriate behaviour. It's part of the culture. I will admit that while it's USUALLY Italian men who do this (as Italy is full of those gosh-darned Italians), a disproportionate amount of harassment comes from Middle Eastern immigrants and can be avoided by not spending time in the poorer parts of town and/or near the train station at night!

Answer 10

Very well said, Pierluisa! Honestly, when will some of these cliché sdie out! Men groping women on the streets, seriously!! This goes into the same category as tap water not being safe to drink in Italy....
I rest my case.