Controlling bf?

Question

his name is sean and he can be bad. he tells me where i am going and what to do. when he gets mad--he has gone so far as to put his hands around my neck and hold me there against the wall--
i am mouthy and a smartass--i talk back to him and that is what gets him going--
is it just me? should i stop?

Answer 1

You both need to grow up a little.

Answer 2

I think that you should leave this situation before something more drastic happens. I was in a similar situation and the only way I got out of it was to pull myself away. First of all, why do you continuously stay in a relationship where you are being verbally and physically abused? Is it because you have no confidence in yourself? Is it because you think that you can't do any better? It's got to be something. Take a little while to yourself to think about what you've always wanted out of life and out of a relationship. Is is to be abused? Probably not. You've got to look at yourself in the mirror and look at how beautiful you are and how this treatment is not what you deserve. Second, you need to stop blaming yourself for his behavior! This is also a sign of no confidence. You should not have to watch what you say around him so to not get him going. You should be able to say whatever is on your mind whenever you feel like and not be scared to speak your mind. Someone that loves you would not put you through this. I know this is not what you want, so get out of it. Its not as easy as it sounds especially if you love him, but it's something you have to do. Take it day by day. But don't let the situation end up worse than it could be.

Answer 3

Oh girlie. Go. Go now. This man is abusive and you need to leave. Immediately. Take the threat seriously enough to save your life. Please find the respect for yourself that you deserve to feel. Don't take the chance...fooling yourself into thinking this man loves you. He doesn't. I'm sorry.

Please don't make excuses for his behavious either. There is nothing you are doing to cause him to "almost" strangle you. So you're a smart a*s?? Guess what? So am I. But there is noone in this world who will ever wrap their hands around my throat because of it.

Take care of yourself. Take the steps to protect yourself and then learn to love and respect yourself before you are in another relationship. You will find love and the right man if you can do these things.

Answer 4

you should stop - dating him, that is. this is NOT a healthy relationship. If he threatens you physically now, someday he won't stop at the threat - he will start smacking you around. Do you really want to stay with this guy? Do you want him to be the father of your children? Do you want you children to watch as he hits you... and then he starts hitting them?

So what if you mouth off? That's not exactly a healthy relationship either, but nothing gives him the right to hurt you or dominate you. Stand up for yourself and remind yourself that you deserve to be with a man who respects you. Break up with this jerk and don't look back.

Answer 5

By asking the guestion, you already know the answer. Just like children, when adults get what they want they continue doing the same behavior, when they don't get what they want they increase the behavior until they get what they want. Your BF will continue to abuse you and it will escalate. And just like all abused women, you will try to justify it by saying you caused it by being to mouthy, or not working hard enough at the housework, or cooking a bad dinner.

Answer 6

Leave him. If he can't keep his hands off you and you can't stop berating him then you need to leave him. He isn't in good control of his anger from what you say. Also, yours is the first picture I have seen on Yahoo! Answers with a whole couple as an avatar. That is disturbing. Leave him.

Answer 7

If he's putting his hands around your neck and pinning you against a wall...you need to leave ASAP. That is not okay...that's violent behavior. As for you, you should tone your mouth down in the future. But HE'S the one who needs to learn how to handle his anger.

Answer 8

You should get out of the relationship before it's too late. MOst likely it will only get worse. Wether you are mouthy or not, there is no excuse for violence.

Answer 9

while being mouthy is asking for trouble, it is no excuse to be abused or accept the behavior--you will not be able to please him enough for him to stop...you need to get out of the situation; reflect what changes you need to make about mature behavior in a relationship before you move into another..and don't accept physical or emotional abuse.

Answer 10

Perhaps you like to push his buttons a bit but that's no excuse for him to get physical.
First get over you fear of being single. It's not all bad.
Then leave him.
And then when you figure out why you like being a smart ***.
Try again with a new guy.

Answer 11

both stop! but more of him! I think he crossed the line way more. in my opinion you should leave any person who would become violent toward his/her lover. b/c that is when it stops becoming about love and more of a concept of ownership is prevalent. violence solves nothing, when will people get it.. whether verbal or physical abuse.. grow up people, and take hold of your age. relationships are a ton of work.. keep in mind that it is always a 2-way street..