We have been dating a bit over 4 months, I'm 35 and shes 29 and spend almost every weekend together (Friday PM to Monday AM) We also occasionally spend Wednesday nights together. BUT she says she likes her freedom and independence AND also tells me she loves me and wants to be with me forever. We both own houses, and I have been thinking about renting mine out if we did move in together. She could also use a "roommate" to help with the bills. I am torn to ask as I don't know exactly how she would react. Is this something that I should wait until 6 months for or even longer to ask or should I just forget it for now?
2006-11-06 11:33:35 · 7 answers · asked by net_pro_2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When do you ask her? After you marry her.
2006-11-06 11:37:23 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you are settled and know what you want right now she does not(she needs her freedom and independence). I am not sure why she doesnt think that she can still have both those things if you move in with a person. Make sure this is the only reason she wants to live alone. Wait a while longer to see where things are headed it has only been 4 months you really dont know each other well right now everything is nice and wonderful(in the beginning). Its different when you live with a person its easier to see how they budget money and handle daily living situations.
2006-11-06 11:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by here2answer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mention it to her lightly. Don't blurt out "I want to move in together now!" Just mention the thought that spending more time together would be great and if you love her too, mention that you'd like to work together and make life a little easier for the both of you. Isn't that what everyone looks for in a serious relationship? Stress that it's just an idea. Most girls like commitment but, if she's concerned about her freedom, you have to put it lightly. I'd also wait maybe a few more months. Unless you're totally excited about the idea and can't wait.
2006-11-06 11:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by incubus71089 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely wait more than 6 months. The real issue is the freedom you and her have as single people. You like things a certain way and so does she. Moving in will disturb that dramatically because you have to deal with the other persons living habits. You for example may have always slept together in bed, but when you move in and then you sleep together you learn that she snores rather loudly, or visa versa. That in itself can drive you nuts if you dont like people who snore and it can make you go even more crazy if its your girlfriend. Put frankly, you really dont know who someone is until you live with them. I have seen realationships destroyed time and time again by the move in factor. In the end it is up to you man in what you want to do. what i will say is that four months is too soon to move in because you still dont know each other very well. You think you might but you dont. In terms of when you should move in together you shouldnt period, unless you are getting married or plan to be together for a long time (as in longer than a year) I understand that you said that she could use help with the bills and there are two ways to look at that. Ok, she might need help, but you dont have to move in to help her out. On the other hand, it is her responsibilty to handle her own things. You are her boyfriend, not her father. Of course that doesnt mean you dont help but do be wise in that. In the end i think you'll be ok, just remember that if you do decide to move in, make sure that you are comfortable with your decision. Second, seek her side of the story and see if she wants you to move in with her, especially if she insists on having her independence. Good luck!
2006-11-06 11:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you thinking of moving in together? I'm just asking because 4 months doesn't seem like very long to get to know someone and why move in if you can see each other and still have your freedom and your own places, and still be together whenever you want. What is appealing to you about moving in -- saving money? or do you really want to be together as much as possible? If you care about her and want to do it, you should bring it up gently as a "future idea", not like you want to do it tomorrow, and see how she reacts to the idea in theory. Then if she has a favorable reaction, you can approach it more seriously.
2006-11-06 11:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kimmyq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should wait to see if you marry this girl.
Why move in with a girlfriend? That only makes your life more complicated.
Makes no sense. You have a girlfriend, leave it that way.
Plus, you've been only dating for 4 months! you guys are acting like 8th graders!!
2006-11-06 11:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by ABC 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no right time, both have to agree and it looks like she is not ready. Do not push it or she may walk. She will have the urge eventually.
2006-11-06 11:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by Ricky 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋