me I regret it!) and I found this email that he seemingly wrote to himself, yet it was asking for advice. It starts out with things that happened before we got together, which I knew. How he liked this girl and he told a casual friend he wanted to ask her out, and then that friend beat him to the punch. He is still friends with this couple. It goes on to account something that happened when my bf and i took a break...about he kissed her and hooked up with for 6 weeks, while she was still with her bf. And technically we broken up so he was free, but the part that kills me is "i kissed her....it was absolutely amazing better than anything I've felt with my g/f." He says in the email he never slept with her, yet he swore to me he didnt hook up with anyone while we were apart. I have been with him for 3 1/2 years and I love him so much. I want to marry him... and the email says the hooking up stopped. I dont know what to do! I am a mess!
2006-11-06 11:02:50 · 19 answers · asked by Christina M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, STOP being a obsessive e-mail spy.
It's like stalking, you know that?
What he say is right, he wasn't with you so, he' has a right to do what he wants.
If you can't get over it, then leave him be. If you want to be with him, stop stalking his e-mails and just forget about it.
At least he isn't seeing her now.
You know, it's pretty strange how he wrote this to himself. As if he wanted you to see it because he knows ur spying on his mail?
2006-11-06 11:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by MisterO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT TELL HIM if you want the relationship to last. The best thing to do is to forget about what you read and go on with life! Sometimes people need to put their feelings down on paper because they don't feel they can tell anyone about them. It helps to do this and does NOT mean they will be deceitful or cheat on you later. He probably told you he didn't go out with anyone else because he didn't want to take the chance that telling you would create friction in your relationship... this would be true if he wants to continue with you and get married. There is always the chance that things won't work out and/or that he does something else like this, but you just can't go through life worrying about it.
Give him the benefit of doubt if you truly love him and you'll be rewarded for it! My girlfriend (now my wife for 17 years) did the same thing except back then it was reading a notebook of mine (no email yet). She confronted me about it and luckily it didn't ruin our relationship, but if I would have held a grudge about it, it very well could have! My logic at the time was that if she had a problem with it, then find another guy. She loved me and got over it.
Good luck!
2006-11-06 19:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by TOMMYBOY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is just awful to read something like that even tho you know you should not have done it. But since it is a little too late to do the right thing now, at least you can be honest with yourself and him and I would confront him about it and if he is sorry about that kissing statement, then stay with him. You have invested a lot of time with this guy and I am sure you have good memories together to let a stupid kiss get in the way.
2006-11-06 19:08:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's what you get for looking into someones email. You have no right to ask him about any of it. It was done when you two were on a break. Anything goes. If you chose to get back with him after the break then you need to accept that things happened. Its the past! If the words hurt you, then to bad. You shouldn't of read any of it. He is with you now and has been for years...why worry now?
2006-11-06 19:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it doesn't matter what he did while you guys took a break.... wheather he told you and promised you he didn't do anything, technically, its none of your business...
Second of all, you should have never gone through his e-mail if you didn't want to find anything out... people only do it and nothing they can do, since their partner doesn't know about it. Oh and about the kiss, Well if he's had better, don't blame him, that's only how he feels... you're letting it get to your head to much... get over it or leave him! You don't own him!
2006-11-06 19:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by precious1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him about it. It's the only way to get answers. If he truly loved you he would look at no other woman that way and he would respect you enough not to lie to you. Give him another chance to admit what he did, and if he says the truth, then make sure he's sorry for what he's done and that he truly loves you. If he still lies about it, then he's not worth your time or your love. There are better men out there who will love you and only you. Or maybe you could just give him some space and time (if you trust him that much).
2006-11-06 19:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by Dont Steal My Bongo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont think it was bad to check his email. If he gave you his password he knew you can go in at any time. That email was past girl I dont think you need to worry about anything. You guys been together for over 3 yrs and a kiss that was "amazing" was that a kiss. you are not going to compare what you guys have for a "kiss".
2006-11-06 19:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by kathernva 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Chris,
It sounds like your man's head is still in the clouds. The only reason he is not with her is because she will not have him....she's with someone else. And I know you feel like you shouldn't have been snooping, but it's a good thing you did. Now you know how he REALLY feels.
It sounds like he is only with you because he cannot be with her. And yeah, technically he was free when you broke up. But if that's the case, then why does he feel the need to lie to you about being with anybody during this break up? He is lying to you in more than one way.
He's lying about his TRUE feelings for you. You need to confront him with this info & put an end to it. You deserve to have someone love YOU--not fake it while being in love with SOMEONE ELSE. You deserve devotion & commitment. Don't shortchange yourself. And personally, I think he's a jerk for lying & scheming behind your back. What an ***hole!!
Ditch the jerk and find YOUR TRUE LOVE....YOUR SOULMATE. Because this guy is not yours....his heart already belongs to someone else...
2006-11-06 19:21:15 · answer #8 · answered by moonbaby3504 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you must not do anything now about what you discovered. stay out from his e-mail. i suggest what you do now is strenghten your relationship with him now, do what is for the good for the two of you. cultivate positive enegry and not those negatives which poses danger to your relatioship, it was a past, and leave it there in the past. you should not read his emails. be at the present now, make the most you can to make him love you more and you love him more.
2006-11-06 19:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by blue violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not confront him cause thats only gonna cause mistrust for you on his part. I would just take things day by day. For now let by gones be by gones as long as you know hes not cheating on you and hes faithful to you now. Confronting him would only make things worse for you.
2006-11-06 19:07:18 · answer #10 · answered by oxygenO 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋