My mom has a lot of health problems. She got paralysed two years ago and has changed into this totally different person. It seems like her negative qualities have magnified 10 times and made everyone's life difficult. My dad is also not that healthy and has his own problems and my mom is making him more sick because she gets angry at him for no reason. I can understand that once you can't do certain things on your own you can get depressed but I really need to know what i can do to help her get over her anger!!Please help!
2006-11-06 10:19:02 · 7 answers · asked by Babe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi,there!! When I read your story of your mum that it reminds me few years ago I was exactly in the shoes of yours, as my mum also got some kind of chronical desease. It is quite rational that your mum still at the stage of denial which is the first step of every patient's psychological developement and it is quite normal. I know it is really hurt when her anger splashes to anyone. But as time passes by, she will simmer down her anger. For my sistuation, at the beginning we became spontaneously to cater her basic needs such as thirsty, hunger, or you know wee-wee or pooh...Also we bought her a little radio and tuned up her favorite station and let those news and musics flowing all day long and diverting her attentions on requiring somebody's help if that was not neccessary. Sometimes, I entered her room and shared some joys we had when I was little and some interesting things happened in my daily life where was outside of her room.Sometimes we also lift her up and went outside to let her have a fresh air... you know.. we all need go outside to see what the world is like so as she. It is not bad to bring her some plants or a vase of flowers by her bed side as well, or merely a TV in front of her bed. Sometimes, you got to cook or buy her favorite food or snacks when you have chances to go to town to let her have chance to explore the food with you though she is a bit unable to walk but mentality still walking... hahahha Also it is better to open the curtain and let sunshine comes into her room and let her got idea of time and seasons. You also need to groom her if she was a bit care about her body image. Also put a phone with a speaker that could let her to connect with her siblings or friends easier without holding it. As her child, it is about your time to feedback and share some works from your dad side. Having a sufficient rest is essential as well... You need to have some fresh air, too and go out to relax yourself so as your family. Everyone share the task of caring her. Treat her like when she treated you when you were kid. They need loves and attentions as well. God bless you, my friend.
2006-11-06 10:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by Snowcrane66 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love her with all your heart and try to be as patient as possible because most likely her condition won't improve. Have you heard about accepting the things we cannot change? Have you been
paralysed before? How can you even comprehend how she feels.?
Please do not blame her for her symptoms. Love, patience, understanding and acceptance is your answer. I feel your pain, but this is life's harsh reality, God bless.
2006-11-06 19:00:14 · answer #2 · answered by aum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents are also sick and seems to be in a similar situation as yours,personality wise as well as physically.
Basically, the only thing you can do is live it out, do what you can and learn to have a looooooooooot of patience.Try to keep her mind off her sickness, do things with her that she enjoys or maybe ask some of her friends over or bring her to visit some friends and things like that.Try to look for something she enjoys doing, maybe that could give her a sense of self-worth.
Good luck!
2006-11-06 18:25:41 · answer #3 · answered by ivy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has she had any kind of grief counselling in dealing with this major loss in her life? Perhaps your preacher or a grief therapist could minister to her and take her through the grieving process thoroughly, as I'm sure her anger has more to do with frustration at her loss of independence, and perhaps even anger at God for "letting" this happen to her. Just a thought. God bless you and your family.
2006-11-06 18:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things you can never get over.Try and keep thing positive and joyful but do not try and tell them that they shouldn't feel a certain way.They feel the way they do.
Ask Mom to help you with cooking- or another activity if she is able. Let them know you still love them.
2006-11-06 18:22:46 · answer #5 · answered by Cammie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, it's understandable that she is upset about being paralysed. but, she has to realize that, she is alive and that just because she is disabled, that life is not over.
i think you should talk with her.
ask her why she's so upset all the time.
make her realize life is too short to be acting this way!
2006-11-06 18:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by brooke 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send her to live in an assisted livng institution where she can have lots of friends.
2006-11-07 10:59:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋