I had broken up with someone about a year ago because they just all around did not appreciate me. The person begged for me back making all sorts of changes mostly quiting smoking wich is big for me. Needless to say we got back together and the person is much nicer to me but have on several differant occasions found ciggaretes in thier car and caught them smoking and its begining to tick me off. What should i do?... I understand its very difficult to quit smoking but this is somthing that the relationship restarted on an it really bothers me.It just seems like they keep doing it. What would you do?
2006-11-06 10:18:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They are much nicer to you this time around and tend to apreciate you more than last year then that is a change in behavior for the better. Quitting smoking is hard, but lying about it is also not going to work.
You might have to compromise if you want to keep the relationship. The first thing you should do is let this person know that you are aware that they are trying and that you know that they are still smoking. Tell them they lying and sneaking bothers you and see if you can do anything to help them keep their promise. A lot of times your significant other won't be able to change who they are no matter what they intend to do.
If something isnt working in a relationship then something just isn't working and you may feel its time to move on.
2006-11-06 10:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by luckybluebunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an ex that would break all my cigarettes and throw them in the toilet. Now hey, i'm all for people not liking smoking but that crosses my line. Sometimes people say things that aren't realistically possible just to get you back. Maybe he/she has never really quit smoking and never plans on it. What else are they hiding?? Better bring this up before it turns into something worse. Quitting is harder than you think but lying about quitting when you don't want to is the worst.
Its all about honesty and trust and when you don't have either you don't have much of a relationship..sorry..good luck
2006-11-06 18:20:58 · answer #2 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, truly, please do not take this person's smoking personally.
This person deserves a lot of credit for the changes that have been made. I want to take this person's side, because as proper a Pollyanna as I can be, I have been battling smoking for years. It's an addiction.
You've gotten a lot of improvement, right? I would hate to see a person do so many right things only to be turned away for an addiction.
This person from their own viewpoint deserves support.
If this person refuses to quit, though, and you refuse to withstand it, then you have to let go.
However, you have to make sure this person does not also take it personally!
It's just an irreconcilable difference.
2006-11-06 18:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you cant see through the smoking ask them not to smoke around you or just break it off on the grounds that you dislike it. You need to make yourself happy not try to please them. If they make you happy then be with them, if the smoking is making you unhappy tell them and let them know that it does and explain that you got back together on the grounds of them not smoking. Whatever you do don't threaten them or "make" them quit. My wife tried to do that with me and all that happened is I would hide them from her and I lived a life of secrets until she caught me. I explained that I wasn't ready to quit and we made some rules up (no smoking in the house, car and to pick up my butts) It seems to work.
God luck and remember like I said make yourself happy first!
2006-11-06 18:26:21 · answer #4 · answered by doughboy09bravo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Promote patches or the gum or better the inhaler. She will get there don't take is personal. Figure out what she is more addicted to? People are addicted to nicotine but sometimes other things as in the car sometimes its just weird to be in the car without a cigarette. See what you can do to fix her and find some alternatives to whatever she is addicted to other than the nicotine.
2006-11-06 18:27:46 · answer #5 · answered by hmm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would break it off again if that was an issue for the first break-up and she said that she quit to make you happy and to possibly get back together with you then she turns around and starts smoking again...that says alot! She got you back and is now returning to her old ways...
2006-11-06 18:22:15 · answer #6 · answered by mrsross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smokers who quit go back to smoking when they are under areat deal of stress. Speak with her and let her know how you feel, at least let her explain. The rest would be up to you. If she is not ready to completely quick then perhaps you have to break it off since it really bothered you before.
2006-11-06 18:22:44 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy Shut Your Mouth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they making an attempt to quit? If they are then they obviuosly have deep feelings for you since they are attempting to quit something they are probably addicted to. They need a lot of support and you need to be there for them. If they continue to smoke and don't show signs of trying to quit then your best bet is to tell them that it is over.
2006-11-06 18:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by John Doe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont see why smoking should be such a huge problem. If you like the person then you'll deal with their bad habit. They should respect that you dont smoke and not smoke around you.
2006-11-06 18:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by LC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you got with them knowing they smoke then you need to back off. You knew they smoked and it didnt matter until later. If it's somthing that developed while you were dating, then you have every right to be pissed off.
2006-11-06 18:21:02 · answer #10 · answered by Candace T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋