Is it wrong not to talk to ex so I can easily move on...?

Question

Okay. My ex dumped me a month ago. Her reason was that she is going through alot and needs time to figure out her life. Her father died 4 months ago, she has low self esteem, mood swings, and is depressed. So when she dumped me through email, a day after she saw her therapist, she asked me not to hate her and that we had really good potential, but the timing of everyhting sucked because of her. She said that she really hoped we could still be friends and talk and email because thats all she could handle, we also never argued. I am not mad at her, but to break up with me and then expect to be friends is something that I think is hard to do. So I told her that I needed time to get over her before I could be friends with her. I cut off contact because my feelings for her were too strong just to be friends. I did not want to do something stupid and her hate me. I have not talked to her in almost two weeks and do not plan on talking to her through the holidays, what do you think?

Answer 1

My personal rule of thumb is to cut off ALL ties with my ex's....I mean there is a reason why I call them my ex. Plus it's only going to be harder for you. You really sound like a sweet person, but in all reality it sounded like she needed her own space to resovle a lot of chapters in her life that haven't been closed yet. So try to move on and don't worry about the Holidays, everyone else in the world who has similar or kinda similar problems learns to deal with them!

Answer 2

Well then! it sounds very sad what has happened to her and the same can be said of you.Breaking up or being broken up with is never easy and when you love someone its only harder.what you need to realize is that she might be hurting just as much as you are. I know you dont think so but the loss of a loved one can bring on emotions you never new you had.With that said you have to think about how you feel now and how you want to feel now, whats going to get you there faster,how much shee really means to you and if you can see yourself getting back together.from where Im standing and having been in a similar situation I would have to say keep you're head up and you're mind open dont get to low or it will be hard to get back up.but if you really care or love this girl dont give up because you will regret it your whole life always wondering what might have happened if you had made a different choice.remember the door swings both ways so if she is not all that special or you can see you're life without her then Maybe walking away and not looking back is the best thing for you.

Answer 3

She is looking for someone else dude. Read between the lines and take this as a blessing that you didn't waste a bunch of your life her. There are plenty of other women out there and my advise to you is to go get laid and don't look back!

Besides, mood swings, low self esteem, and depression is going to make her eat till she is fat as a cow ! I know you don't want any of that action do you?

Chicks don't want guy's for "friends"! That's just what they tell us to make themselves feel better.

Get over it and move on. Don't ever talk to her again unless you want to keep kicking yourself in the heart.

Take it from the voice of experience, the next one will be even sweeter ! You'll see.

I am now 50 and I am doing a woman that is 26 ! See what I mean?

Answer 4

People who dump and then want to be friends want you to be there for them on their terms. In the mean time they've taken something away from you and are reminding you of it frequently by contacting you when they need you. But you don't get to have what you need.

So..It doesn't make her a bad person for being a coward (by breaking up with you via email) but it also doesn't make you a bad person for having enough self respect to say that this arrangement "doesn't work for me right now, but I'll let you know when it does."

It's a long life, and it's better to have people respect you. YOu never know what's going to happen down the road, so be repectful and respectable and firm.

Answer 5

Ok, what she did was very understandable and how you reacted was too! My mom died when I was only 24 yrs old and believe me, I was not in a good state of mind with anything in my life. It's good that you don't blame her for anything, you have a very good heart. All i can say is when the time is right and if you ever feel strong enough in talking to her again. Speak from your heart, don't try to 'get' her back. Wish her well, and tell her, if she ever needs anything, or even someone to talk to, you'll be there...

What happened to her has just changed her life FOREVER.
Be a man, and respect that. Good luck and I wish you well.

Peace

Answer 6

What you're dealing with is amazingly typical. You dont say how lengthy you've been at the same time, yet ususally after relationship someone for a lengthy time period it really is amazingly puzzling to flow on such as your existence without them. The unexpected cognizance that your mate is not area of your existence is terrible and probably between the hardest pains you'll ever adventure. even with all the undesirable and the gruesome of the relationship, you nonetheless omit the best, yet continually keep in mind why you men broke up. even although time does heal wounds, seven weeks isn't adequate yet. I had a relationship that lasted for 3 years and it took us over a year to finally get thoroughly over one yet another and be conscious one yet another as not something else than in basic terms acquaintances. (actual he's now engaged and that i'm more than chuffed for him) The discomfort received't go away straight away, you position diverse your self into this relationship and that is the hardest component to get over. Take help on your relatives and acquaintances and in God, he can heal your heart like none different. yet woman, I gotta allow you to comprehend this - THIS TOO SHALL pass, so flow on. Dont seem decrease back, quickly that is going to all be a reminiscence and not in any respect something else, i promise. :)

Answer 7

Do what's best for you. I too find that cutting contact for a while with someone I dated, helps in the long run if there's to be any friendship down the road...I don't want to have to see and/or talk to them while my heart is trying to heal and be reminded point blank of what I cannot have any more.

Take the time and distance you need...and when you feel you've gotten the healing and closure that will put the situation behind you, then you can decide if you want to contact her again or accept contact from her.

Answer 8

I totaly understand where you are coming from. I was with my ex for 6 years and I broke up with him a year ago. I did have trouble not talking to him, but I think that it ended up being a better thing, because it helped us move on. We do talk on an occasion, but we both have realized that we both have moved on and it makes it a little easier. Not to say that I dont think about him at all, since i was with him for so long. But it would be hard to be his regular friend and see him all the time.

Answer 9

I completely understand why you don't want contact with her, because heartbreak is the worst pain ever, and everytime you talk to that person, all those feelings just come rushing back. But, this girl sounds like she just needs some time to figure out what she wants...and to get used to her life as all this stuff is going wrong..it sounds like in time she probably wants to get back together...so, try talking to her..support her and be her friend, because she really needs that help right now...Good luck!

Answer 10

It's actually a good idea and perfectly understandable. You'll need the time away from her to settle out your feelings. It will probably take you awhile to get over it. Maybe in the future you'll be able to be friends but for the time being it sounds like you should just keep your space.
Also, dumping by email is rather cowardly (just my opinion)