My ex husband keeps telling my kids that they need to start deciding where they want to live. They are 10 & 7

Question

The thing is we have been not together for 4 years and the kids have always lived with me and visited him on everyother weekend and he has most of the summer with them. Is there anything leagally I can do to make him stop. This is causing problems witht the kids at school and they are always so upset when they come back from his place. I always tell them that they do not have to make that decsion and that it is ok that they like to be at my house and their dads. I have tried to tell him that he needs to stop he just denies that he has said it. Help me Pleaseeee!!!!!

Answer 1

Talk to a lawyer. There are parenting classes that a judge can make him attend. If you don't want to do that, explain to your ex that what he is doing really isn't hurting you, but he is hurting the kids and unless he wants them to grow up thinking he is a selfish you know what, then he should stop. Maybe he will listen but men are sometimes ignorant when it comes to this. I f all else fails, just sit your kids down and tell them they are staying with you no matter what their dad thinks and to ignore him.

Answer 2

Unfortunately there is nothing with unsupervised visitation you can do about him saying what he wants to say to those kids. The only thing you can do is be supportive on behalf of them, try your best to not let what he says bug you (especially in front of the kids) because bottom line when they hit 12-14 if things continue, he will take you back to court and they can legally make their own decisions. Why worry about that now? Just be there, be strong, and be the best mom you can be for those kids. They will know in their hearts where the stability and emotionally sound parent is. Prayers =)

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you can't control what your ex does, or does not say, to the kids. You're on the right track by telling them that it's okay to enjoy spending time with both parents.

I suggest that you remind the kids - as well as their dad - that they are children, and this is an adult's decision. The kids are NOT the ones who choose which parent they'll live with. In most cases, the parents make that decision but in other situations, it's up to the court to decide.

Good luck... that's a tough one!

Answer 4

If you have already been granted custody of the kids...don't frant. It's unfair of your ex to be doing this to your kids. They should never be put in the middle, ever. Talk to your kids and let them know what their dad is doing is wrong and tell them not to get upset. Legally, you can talk to a lawyer to get their input on the situation. If you do not have an order issued by a judge saying the kids live with you, now is the time you should get it.

Answer 5

You need to confront him about the welfare of your children. Explain to him that although he may have hard feelings for you that there is no reason for him to take that out on the kids and put more stress on him. Let him know that you know for sure he is saying these things because where else would your kids get them from? And, why would they make up that their father is saying them if he wasn't? Children don't make up things like that because that comes from somewhere! Now, explain to your ex husband that if he continues to harass the children with what he is telling him, that you will take legal action. If the kids sit in front of a judge and tell the judge what their father is doing, I am pretty sure something good will come out of it for you and your children. If he loves his kids, he wouldn't put a stress barrier on them.

Answer 6

Your x is an idiot and what he is doing is causing trauma to your children they are way too young to be making a decision like that and the selfish bastard is hurting them probably because of his own ego.

Contact the lawyer that handled your divorce and tell him/her what is going on. Upsetting the children is enough of a reason for you to do this but don't wait too long. He is putting them in the middle. You need to put your foot down and tell him to stop, tell him he is upsetting your children and you are going to cut his visitation in half if he doesn't cut the BS!!!

Answer 7

Why have you ever post with this selfish, thoughtless, merciless behaviour out of your spouse for see you later? She is, in spite of everything this time, nonetheless exhibiting off approximately all her conquests and you're having to pass alongside with all of it! You sound as once you're a competent husband to her - yet you're TOO good and you're reaping some great reward of permitting all this to have started interior the 1st place. merely you are able to now elect what your destiny would be. that's uncertain she will have the means to ever substitute, as she is a 'taker', has no thought for others and has little doubt been reported to upward thrust as much as she will out of relationships without feeling she has to contemplate every person else. So - the two divorce her, whilst she will have the means to probable get greater suitable than a million/2 of all you very own, plus a huge alimony charge each and each month, or stay along with her and post along with her offensive behaviour. the alternative is yours. optimistically the subsequent time, and with you sounding an exceedingly no longer worth harm and humiliated person enable's desire there's a next time for you, elect a much significant other for your self who will commit greater time to you than she does to herself, and there are a lot of those around. pass away - get out - positioned all the harm in the back of you.

Answer 8

You can document all the times your kids say that he asks them and their subsequent behavior and ask the court for supervised visits. You probably won't get them but you may wake up your x to the fact he is hurting the kids.

He is missing them and feeling inadequate as a dad not being more involved. If location permits you may want to offer more hands- on time and give him a couple days a week( mon/wed or tue/thur) to pick them up from school and bring them home at bedtime, fed and bathed.

Answer 9

my parents are divorced( I'm young but hey I'm helping) i know what your kids are going thought. my mom says i have like a chronic fear of my dad(something like that) so its where I'm latterly sacred to tell my dad my opinion on something because I'm scared of his reaction or what he will think of me. He always listens so lik a.m. 1000 and i never want to but i don't tell him that. i cant help it. so that might be what your kids are thinking about. You just need to talk to your kids AND your ex and explain thought they are to young to handle this kind of pressure and the shouldn't be forced to make up there minds. Your kids love you both and they don't want you to be mad or there dad to be. Also there isn't really anything legally i can think of that could help you sorry. I hope this will help you!

Answer 10

You're ex is playing stupid games with the kids and thus you. It's a way to exert control over you even though you are divorced. It's wrong and the kids are big losers in it. When they are of age they will decide for themselves if they want to live with him. He needs to grow-up.