I'm almost thirty, living with somone I love, but not in a long-term committed relationship (and admittedly having my doubts about the relationship). And I keep having these dreams about the first love of my life--a guy I dated in high school who dumped me for no real reason and broke my heart right before I left go to to university. So, no real closure there, I suppose. I've since moved away from my HS town, gone to school, grown up etc and I have not kept in contact with him at all. I dont' know what he's doing or where he is (but I could probably guess). I keep having dreams about him, where i feel so emotionally strong about him and I just ache in the dreams when I find out he's married to someone else. What should I do--should I go find this guy? Is this real or is this just me being unhappy in my current relationship? What if I find him--what would I even say to him?
2006-11-06 09:16:01 · 19 answers · asked by Stuck 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dreams are never literal. You are in love with a part of him and your mind uses his image to define that trait that you care so much for. You are probably missing that trait in your current relationship and you desparately want it. That's where the dreams come from.
2006-11-06 09:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathise. I still have dreams about someone I shouldn't, from 14 years ago, and the feelings I have are very similar to what you describe. I think it's the fact with both you and I that there's a bit of unfinished business, unfulfilled possibilities....
With my head, I don't want to compromise my present relationship by digging up the past. Why wreck a good relationship for a dream? He will have grown more set in his ways, developed annoying little habits. At least my dear husband's I know I can live with, and we make our relationship work. On the other hand, if you've nothing to lose, seek him out. Are there any mutual friends you could discreetly tap for information? Otherwise you won't know whether it'll work, although you must be prepared for the fact that his life has changed to the point where he doesn't even remember you!
A friend said that she could see my old flame and I, one day, together at last in an Old People's Home. Would that then feel like a lifetime's missed opportunity? As I said, I've made my choice. But the dreams do keep coming..
2006-11-06 09:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand. I was the one who didn't make a move on a girl who was making obvious overtures. This is the kind of girl who any guy in their right mind scrapes the earth with their teeth because she stepped there. I mean every guys dream girl. I danced with her, she gave me all the signals and I backed out for three reasons. For one I thought I wasn't good enough for her. Two, I refuse to bow and scrape to anybody (even now). Three, I was scared shipless! LOL!
Fast forward to the ten year reunion! She shows up, I show up. She is more wonderful than ever, we have a hookup. It is there that I learn she hasn't been able to keep a relationship together because they always end up being compared to the guy who blew her off. As we lay there she then explained that she had always had feelings for me and couldn't shake them. We are both 36, we still talk, she can't fall in love (yet) and I am married with a beautiful child and a good woman! The moral of this story?
QUIT DWELLING ON THE PAST!!! There is a reason they call it a rearview mirror. Its behind you!
2006-11-06 09:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by raiderking69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dream can be about those specific girls from high school in a literal sense or, in my view, those girls from high school actually represent something more present in your life that you are confronting. For example, it's quite possible that your unconscious (dream state) is telling you that currently in your real life your "indifference" to someone, something, etc. is actually bothering you but, instead of confronting (dealing with) the issue, you have been dancing around it ... avoiding it. In your life (real time) are you being asked to join a group, committee, organization, or the like? If so, reflect on your inner feeling about being affiliated with them. What about work ... is there something going on there -maybe a task force you've been asked to lead or be part of? Is there a wedding on the horizon -yours or someone else's where the selection of bridesmaids and/or guests is an issue? I believe that if you pause and consider what has been happening in your life recently and identify those issues (people and situations) where you seem to be indifferent (or neutral) in feelings about, you may very well come up with the meaning behind your dream. Good luck!
2016-05-22 05:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put him behind by whatever needs necessary. If you did find you'll find he's changed a lot. You maybe dreaming about him because you want out of the current relationship. Start looking for another guy right after losing this guy.
2006-11-06 09:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you haven't really ever gotten over the hurt of being dumped by this guy and it is resurfacing now because you are having problems in your present relationship.
It may also be that this guy from HS affect all your relationships because you have not ever really gotten over him.
You need to figure this out for yourself. But it is obvious that the pain of being dumped in high school still haunts you.
Dreams are sometimes a healing mechanism in our brains. It is drawing out deep fears and emotions to the surface so that you "live them" and are forced to live throught the feelings of what ur most afraid of. After which, you can slowly sort out and heal.
Good luck
2006-11-06 09:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by MisterO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just unhappy......... if this is a dream you have when the sun is up then it's said to come true but if it's dreamed while its dark outside then it's just a dream
2006-11-06 09:22:29 · answer #7 · answered by Destinee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is you being unhappy. You're reverting to a time in your life where you did feel happy. The excitement of falling in love is often better than being in love. You're probably having some feelings of loss with your current partner.
2006-11-06 09:20:39 · answer #8 · answered by LaLa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me, too, and I'm much older than you. It's just a dream, probably connected to unresolved issues. Don't let it bother you.
2006-11-06 09:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a dream...don't stress over it. Dreams mean nothing!
2006-11-06 09:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋