Ex-girlfriend talks to me after 5 years, should I keep in touch?

Question

Well she's my high school sweetheart and we broke off on a bad note 5 years ago due to a lot of tension, this tension began because I needed some time alone and apparently from her point of view I was breaking up.

Anyway, the damage was done and we broke off. I made attempts to reconcile because I still loved her, but never worked out.

After her telling me to leave her alone I did so. Now 5 years later, she contacts me to wish me a happy bday because it was one of those days she can never forget.

What a mind blower! I didn't know how to reply!

However, I still have feelings for her because of all the girls I have been with, I have always had this soft spot for her. My first instinct was to reconcile with her again... but my intuition was telling me not to because it was too early and she's probably not the same person as before.

Now to restate my question, should I move on with my life or make another attempt to reconcil?

Answer 1

Whoa! Take it easy!

There are no major decisions called for here...at least, not yet.

Ask her if she would be interested in getting togehter for something fairly neutral, like coffee, or lunch -- something during the daytime and in a public place. Have someplace that you have to be -- such as back to work, in class, etc. -- immediately afterward.

If there's any reason to get together again for another talk, you'll know. And if there isn't, you'll know that too.

Take it easy and use caution. You never know why people pop up out of nowhere from the past.

Maybe she's just making sure she's over you before proceeding in another relationship. (Some chick did that to my husband many years ago, and it really hurt his feelings, so take it slow.)

Or, she may still have feelings for you and wonder whether things could work out.

Or, she could just be nostalgic for a simpler time in her life. Most people's high school years are as simple and carefree as it's going to get until after their own kids are grown and gone -- she may just feel nostalgic for the "good old days".

But wouldn't you rather know than wonder? Only one way to find out. Ask her to lunch and try to see where she's coming from.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Well I'm in your situation now but he wont even talk to me. Listen if you love her and I mean LOVE her then you really need to at least talk to her but be careful though don't just jump in with all your feelings out there just yet. Let her know that you miss her and all and see how she feels. Take it slow and see what happens . Calling you on your birthday 5 yrs later does mean that she was thinking about you so I think she still has feelings for ya but be careful too a broken heart twice by the same person hurts just as bad as the first time.
I believe in fate and meant to be so I hope it goes well for ya.
Good luck

Answer 3

Have you got any other prospects? If you have no one that you are seriously involved with, what have you got to lose? She might realize that she was wrong to let you go, and just be seeking a chance to get back together. Some girls are a bit more subtle than others. I think she is just feeling you out for possibilities. If you still have that "soft" spot for her - that could be the makings of love. I would be inclined to explore the possibilities - hey, you can talk, and remain cautious - just let things develop if she is still interested in you. Just might be a win-win for both of you. Good luck.

Answer 4

No. I would kindly tell her talking wouldn't be the best option. Just tell her you have moved on. Love is hard, but letting go is sometimes the best thing to do. You will always have feelings for her if she was your first love. But, there are bigger and better loves out there who would have understood your choice when you said you needed some time alone. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well if you already made attempts and it hasnt worked within 5 years, I honestly don't see if happening now. Although, since you say its been 5 years since she's called you, and on your birthday, maybe its a sign that she wants to really work it out by calling you on a day that means a lot to you. Definitely find out her reasoning for calling you after so long and whether its just to be nice or if she wants to work it out.

Answer 6

You can re-date her as a new person, but don't expect the same high school girl. Get to know her without preconceived notions or expectations, and don't let your soft spot cloud your view of potential red flags. Doesn't hurt to ask her why she got in touch 5 years later.

Answer 7

I think you should contact her and no she probably will not be the same person she was back then, are you? However there will still be things about her that will never change. I think that if you didn't contact her it might be something you'll regret even if it doesn't turn out great at least you won't think about what might have been.

Answer 8

move on,5 yrs is too long i can already feel trouble. Your heart says reconcile but your mind is saying you went through before -no matter how ever a person changes their basic nature will never change

Answer 9

If you do, be careful. My ex contacted me after four years of no contact and after a few short, pleasant exchanges he started to ask inappropriate questions and make insulting comments about me. Give her the benfit of the doubt in the beginning, but if she says or does anything that's offensive, just cut it off again.

Answer 10

Move on buddy trust me I went through the same thing tried the reconcile thing all it did was hurt me again.