Should you SPEAK UP, when you hear someone abusing another????

Question

for instance....just say...'OUCH!'..... OR "MY GOSH THAT IS ABUSE!"....OR " I FEEL THAT IS UNCALLED FOR!!!"...JUST TO SEE IF THE abuser KNOWS WHAT HE IS SAYING...or should you just shut your mouth and walk away...cuz it is none of your business....i have seen abuse in the grocery store...and i always want to say something but don't...because i feel the person would just say meanly...' it is none of your business"...which is right...it isn't, but i can't stand ABUSE ON ANYONE!!! what is fair to do???

Answer 1

I once saw a "man" hitting a lady. I walked up and asked if she was allright. She said nothing and kept walking away. The "man" turned to me and told me it was nothing to do with me. He looked sheepish when I pointed out "his lady" had just walked away!

Yes, if you can handle the situation, speak up. If not find someone who CAN handle it.

Answer 2

There have been some great answers on this question so far, especially nathancar's. I guess for me, I look at it this way. If I see a situation in which, were the roles different, and I was being abused, and I would want someon to speak up, then I speak up. But like nathancar said, sometimes you can't do anything because the threat to your own safety would be at issue. But if it just someone abusing a clerk or a waitress, or a child, then yes, I would step in because I would want some help if I were being treated the same way.

As an aside, there are some times when you are legally obligated to step in and report abuse, such as a teacher who suspects or has proof of abuse. Doctors might be under teh same rules, I'm not sure. But if a teacher sees abuse and does nothing to report it, then it can cost him or her his or her job.

Answer 3

If the abuse occurs in a public place, or is someone you know, you have every right to say something, because they are subjecting the public (ie, you) to it.

It is a moral imperative to speak out against abuse ("all that is required for evil to win is for good men to do nothing"). However, always assume that the abuser is ignorant of what they are doing and why it is wrong - try to give them the benefit of the doubt and explain to them on their own terms how they went too far. If you come on too strongly, they will just get defensive and the message will be lost. The goal is to end the root of the abuse, not to shame the abuser.

good luck!

Answer 4

I suppose it all depends on who and how.

Maybe you can comfort the abused. The abuser will more than likely have an attitude, but there might be some way.

For example. I was once hanging out with some people. This one guy was being mean to this girl. He was like, "Get the beer *****" or something like that. I felt that was uncalled for, so I got the beer myself. He didn't notice, but she did. Me and her ended up hanging out that night and he played with the guys. Of course, I caused problems like I always do. I think you get the point though, if you remove my ego from the response.

Some people prefer abuse because they are so confused. You can't really help them. Like this other guy and his girlfriend. He was a heroin addict and used to treat her like ****. Apparently he beat her. We all worked together. You couldn't help anything by having empathy for her. She was going to side with her abuser anyway. They ****** me over one time (I gave them a ride home and **** got stolen out of my car). She didn't give a ****. She had adopted the mind of the abuser towards other people.

People get involved in predator/prey relationships. Whether that's between an overbearing parent or spouse. Only difference is sometimes you have a choice. I guess you always have a choice, but I didn't pick which womb to grow in.

As I always say, the best you can do is just be nice to people and keep your mouth shut when it comes to judgements. They might complain, but, you don't have to say anything.

Of course if you genuinely care for other people they always suspect an ulterior motive even if there is none. To the point you might as well have had one. This world is shitty.

Answer 5

I know the feeling. I once saw a man slapping a woman around her lower eyelids in a grocery store. She was going behind counters to try and get away from him. I asked the manager to call the police. He ignored me. I never went to that store again. If I had it to do over, even knowing the abuser was a felon and dangerous, I would say, "This is inappropriate, especially in this setting." Probably wouldn't make any difference to him, but would make me feel better.

Answer 6

I hate seeing anyone abused and I have said things many times. I always try using Southern charm and humor when I say something which usually helps to elevate the tension if I were to say it directly.

Answer 7

Never. If someone is abusive verbally, physically, they will take it out on you! And they could follow you and threaten you. So NO, never get involved no matter how bad it is.

It's your life, and if you value it keep it.

Just think the abuser doesn't care if he hits someone. He'll hit anyone and do anything, and you can't stop it.
Just get out of the situation, or run.

Answer 8

It is really fair to step in and try to do something to stop the abuse. If it gets worse you call the police. God bless

Answer 9

it really depends on the situation i suppose....
if some-one is committing a crime you should contact the police...
if you confront some-one behaving abusively, for example a husband hitting his wife, the chances are the person knows that they are doing something that's wrong-and doesn't care-you're very unlikely to "enlighten"some-one who's abusive...and you could be putting yourself in a dangerous situation...
when some-one commits a crime against humanity, they absolutely should be confronted...the course of action may or may not be for you to decide...

Answer 10

Yes, get a siren and when you see something so horrendous then turn on the siren and say "HELLLO ABUSE POLICE! You must stop that this instant!" If they don't stop, then throw that damn siren at the abuser and that will surely stop the abuser and help the abusee.