Im in the Military and I met this girl when I was back home and told her that I had already been to Iraq ( Which I haven't). Since then, It's been mostly a long distance relationship with us seeing each other about once a month. We are just crazy about each other and I really see it going somewhere. Every once in a while she still brings it up ( What was it like? ) . I am supposed to be actually going over there in about 5 months. I the mean time im debating on just riding it out. But lately it's been eating me alive. For Christmas I want her to meet the family, which could be a disaster if it got to her that I havent been over there. I know that this isn't at all one of the reasons why she is with me. But a lie is still a lie. What should I do??
2006-11-06 07:44:57 · 11 answers · asked by Sean L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HAHAHAHA. Serves you right! This was an unnecessary lie!
I'll give you my suggestion in a minute, but first I am going to lecture you and laugh at you for being so stupid.
Something like going to war is a major experience and it's a life changing experience, I doubt that there was a legitimate reason for you to lie about that. Lying about it also belittles the sacrifices of soldiers who have served. You are lucky that when you told this lie you were already in the military so you essentially embellished, that kind of helps you out a little. Still, in trying to impress her you shot yourself in the foot soldier.hahaha
Dude, you are in so much trouble, but it is possible to get out of trouble. Tell her though especially if it was when you first met, emphasize that you were trying to get her attention and trying to impress her but you realised almost immediately how stupid you were (are) and you have been struggling and suffering with having told the lie since (whenever it was you started suffering).
If you don't tell her and she finds out she'll will question everything she thought she knew about you and wonder what else was a lie and she'll may never trust you again. So you pretty much have to tell her because if she finds out on her own, it's over (and these things are easy to verify - even without her being suspicious - she may one day absently complain that you did more tours than so and so and the can of worms opens).
When you tell her there many possible outcomes including:
1) She suspected all along and was waiting for you to say something so you could discuss it and she understands you were just trying to impress her or she gets mad at you for a while and you have to win her trust back.
2) She'll say "How dare you lie about something like that don't you know so-so died in Iraq I never want to see you again".
3) She'll start to give you a lecture but break out laughing in the middle and never stops laughing at you, you never live it down. She tells this story at your wedding, to your future kids and grandkids and continues laughing at you for the rest of your lives. Hahaha.
or any number of other reactions depending on the person.
All the best man. Just Do It! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I am gonna have to tell my date this story tonight! hahahahaha, thank you for giving me such a good laugh! Hey who knows she might find it hilarious too!
2006-11-06 08:30:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth ... And tell her why you lied to her. (to impress her or whatever) Let her decide if you are worth forgiving. People deserve 2nd chances & if you are worth it, she will give you one. But the longer you hold off telling her, the worst off you will be - meaning, your holiday's will be mightly lonely!
When you do tell her, don't ask for a 2nd chance. Tell her what you did, why you did it, and that you are sorry. Take the punches! And then give her some space. If you don't hear from her in 2 wks, you can call & see how she is doing. At that time you'll get your answer as to whether this was meant to be or not... Hope this helps!
2006-11-06 07:58:01 · answer #2 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since things are getting serious perhaps now is the time to "come clean". You don't want your relationship to be built on a foundation of lies. Just tell her straight up that you were trying to impress her and be all macho and in the process you inflated your experience a little. I mean we all do this to a degree during a job interview but then again we don't plan to live with the job we take potentially til death do us part.... Not saying that marriage is in the picture but you do want a clean slate in case things may head that direction....
IIvIIaster ID
2006-11-06 07:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by commonsince76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it was wrong to lie in the first place especially about something like going to iraq where so many have faught bravely and lost their lives.she will find out eventually theres no getting around that.which means you're pretty much screwed because most women don't go for lieing in the first place and considering you lied on such a touchy subject there isn't much you can do but kick yourself
2006-11-06 07:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by eightballrip69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her the truth. If she is really into you, she will forgive you and understand. If you don't tell her, it is likely to come out in the future and she will be hurt that it didn't come from you and it will damage her trust level with you. I'm sure she'll understand :)
2006-11-06 07:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by oz79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly particular it somewhat is interior the previous, yet is it something she would be in a position to lose have faith over? you will desire to probable come sparkling. you will sense lots extra suitable and he or she would get mad yet clarify to her which you had to seem stable for her. She would comprehend that. Heck! She would have completed the comparable factor approximately something! in case you do chosen to easily enable it flow then do no longer enable it get to you. yet do what you think of is stable.
2016-10-21 09:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be honest with her if you ever want the relationship to go anywhere. Put yourself in her shoes. What would you do or say if she lied to you. Honesty hurts sometimes but is much needed.
2006-11-06 07:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by t j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth will set you free, tell her you felt pressured into telling her you were over there, and you want to come clean
2006-11-06 07:50:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the truth is bound to come out and you'd be better off to come clean now.
2006-11-06 07:48:04 · answer #9 · answered by cldb730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read and view everything you can on Baghdad as quickly as possible but ask her not to discuss the matter as it brings back too painful memories (depending of course on what exactly you have already said). Make a promise to yourself to confess on your fiftieth wedding anniversary....................
2006-11-06 07:51:25 · answer #10 · answered by thomasrobinsonantonio 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋