please can some one help I Really need some desperate advise?

Question

Ive look after my dad he has a dementra, he has a c.p.n and Ive been trying to get help with hes tablets they are not working. the c.p.n has got the meds lowered, Ive told her I will not put him on them because i cant cope with him, she said last week she will get him in a home and dident, then she said she will get him in a mental hospital so they can see how bad he is but ive still not heard any thing, soon she knows hes going to run out of hes old drugs, and Ive told her theirs no way I can cope with him. In a few days they will be gone. then I will have to walk out and phone the c.p.n and tell her I will not come back. I must say I did try him on the new meds, and he was at me all day and up all night, Ive told her this. what do I do, I dont want to do this to my dad, but I will have to. please help.

Answer 1

Contact Social Services asap, they WILL be able to help you, even the very same day in most cases, especially as you are also becoming ill and stressed with all the pressure being put on you. CPN's are not very good in my experience (I have had a lot of experience)

Answer 2

1. You can take dad to the E.R. and explain this medication problem. You can take your dad to the E.R. any time you can't handle him. With dementia, this will happen.
2. Also, check your local phone book for your local county Department of Health - they should have a Senior Services Division. They would provide you with a social worker who can get Dad the correct medical treatment.
3. Also, YOU NEED A BREAK. I took care of my dad, too, so I know. There should be adult day care where you could take him for an afternoon, or you need someone to come in your house & look after him while you get out for awhile. Look for local support groups - they have a lot of information about what is available to you in your area.
4. Call the United Way - often in the phone book they have a listing for "First Call For Help" which would get you steered in the right direction toward the help you need, medically and with a social worker to oversee Dad's transitions from here.
5. Not sure what CPN is (Nurse?) but you need Visiting Nurse. Dad's Medicaid or Medicare should pay for it.
6. Don't feel like a failure. There is nothing more overwhelming than care-giving, and when it's your own parent, it's especially difficult. You're trying to balance being a good daughter and doing what the parent says with also knowing the parent has dementia and you are the one really in charge. Just about nobody can do it alone. YOU NEED HELP and there is help out there. That up all night, I know, that's real rough.
p.s. reading other people's comments, I forgot an obvious first thing to do: Call dad's doctor right now. Yes, getting dad into a home (if necessary) falls under what his doctor should do for him. Hopefully he can just get the medication corrected so you and dad can continue on for a while. Best of luck to you. You will never regret how you helped your dad when he most needed you.

Answer 3

tel your social worker the GP and say you are at crisis they will have to send him somewhere till you get it sorted what would they do if you were ill and at this rate you will be you must be totally stressed know you love your dad but this cant go on had similar crisis few weeks ago and got respite care till I could organise something better its hard work but there is help out there forget the c.p.n your ill your blood pressure is probably sky high lack of sleep what do they think you are a machine see your doc and take it from there your ILL its the only thing that works honest been there you know more about your dads medication than they do I had to monitor everything your not uncaring so for your sake and your dads get help phone them all don't give them any peace cry scream , walk away they will come a running best of luck know how you feel

Answer 4

i have sympathy for you as i went through the same thing with my dad, it got to the point where i just couldn't cope any more, i had a job, and a family to look after as well, contact your gp or social services and tell them you just cannot cope any longer, they sent a psychiatric nurse to see my dad, she recommended he went into hospital to be assessed, he then went into a home, and was very settled there for 6 years until he died of a stroke, but its a great weight lifted off your mind when you know they have got 24 hour care, and you can just go and visit whenever you want, i sincerely hope everything turns out for the best for both you and your dad, good luck

Answer 5

Dementia? YOU need to call a hospice or nursing home and get him in. The last resort would be to call an ambulance and have them take him to the hospital and he'd be transferred to a nursing home from there. There should have been plans for this a long time ago. This has progressed to the point where he needs round the clock care. Not just a part-time nurse.

Call now.

Answer 6

Firstly does your father have mixed dementia ( dementia and alzheimer's) which i beleive medication is not that effective. CONTACT your fathers CONSULTANT right now,especially if your not getting support from CPN put your questions and worries to them, if your father doesn't have a social worker they can put in a referral, and he could be referred on to a day centre which would give some respite, they should also know about any local carer's groups which are extremely supportive. Be strong for yourself, i've been where you are now.

Answer 7

Pebbie, I can be of no help to your situation at all but I wanted to wish you (and your Dad) well. You sound like you're doing a great job under very difficult circumstances. We all need people like you. If you need someone to help you sort this out you could try your local councillor (type www.yourcounty e.g. Cheshire.gov.uk) They should be able to help you get help.

Good luck

Answer 8

Does your Dad have a social worker ? This should be your first port of call as it is unlikely your CPN would be able to get him into a home, also contact your GP.

If you are at the end of your tether call duty social services and explain you are desperate.

Answer 9

Social Services at present are under strength, I would go with your Dad straight to the hospital & plead that something is done right away if you see my point of view,Is your doctor aware of this situ?

Answer 10

Go and see his Gp they will advise you what should be done you should not have this problem to deal with on your own. Dementia is a horrible illness and he needs the proper care. Good luck