staying with in-laws at thanksgiving...READ ON?

Question

i need to vent. For Thanksgiving, we are staying with my in-laws. They have a queen size aerobed for us to sleep on. my parents only have 2 twin beds (plus, i think other relatives are staying a night). The problem is that my mother in law has decided that instead of putting us in their office (my husbands old room) they are going to put us in the finished basement. THERE IS NO DOOR GOING DOWN TO THE BASEMENT! this brings up 2 issues....no privacy at all! anyone could walk down at anytime (which they will). And, because the cat is coming with us, he is going to have to be in a cage the whole night because of the other animals (1 dog 1 cat). You just cant put a shelter cat in a cage ever again, minus the fact he will cry all night (we tried locking him in the bathroom one night and all he did was cry).

So, my only solution (unless you have any others) is to think of good excuses to sleepover at mom's by myself for most of the nights, and be without my husband. HELP!!!

Answer 1

I would ask your husband to ask him mother to put you guys in his old room - the office. Have him explain to her that it will allow HIM to have some privacy, and would be better for all the animals (because the others in the house would be able to come and go as they please which your cat remains in a cage). If that doesn't work, then I'd suggest the two of you staying in a hotel room together, and not with either set of parents.

Answer 2

If being diplomatic with your mother in law and telling her exacatly what you have written here does not change the situation, then yes, go to your Mom's where you and the cat will be comfortable. Then your MIL will not wonder why you went. In fact, you can always say that you felt it was a big hint that you should go to your Mom's. Of course on the other hand, if you don't mention it to her, she is blameless in that she thinks she is doing the best possible thing.

Answer 3

well heres a solution... You are a married woman, this is your husbands family, stop being selfish... Unlike many people, you will have a warm bed to sleep in, you'll be with family (your number one loved one:you husband) you'll have warm food and company to share the holiday with... And you'll be able to bring your cat, while at a hotel you might not be able to.... Thanksgiving is a time for thanks, but it is also a time to be unselfish... you only seem to care about yourself, and not your husbands feelings, don't be childish and make up a lie to stay at your parents.. you promised when you got married for better or worse... and what it will last maybe a week at most, and you can go back to your own home.... Its thanksgiving, don't start a family feud!!!

Answer 4

Are your in-laws totally unapproachable? Is there anyway you can ask them about using another room because of the cat? Can you, hubby and kitty stay at your mom's?? I wouldnt bunk away from my husband. If you cant talk to your in-laws, can your husband talk to them? Seems like there should be other solutions. But then again, I have wonderful in-laws and wouldnt think twice about talking to them about something that made me uncomfortable.

Answer 5

Tell them you don't want to incovenience them with the cat crying and do what you suggested (WITH your husband) or get a hotel room. My folks would not be insulted if I told them we were staying in a hotel instead of in the house. If so, your In-laws sound pretty anal.

Answer 6

Why don't you leave your cat at home and stay in a hotel for the night? Sounds like a much better, much more private idea.

Answer 7

ask to speak with realtive privately about sleeping arangments and plead case politely as possible there's really no way to have a good stay with the inlaws other than that find somewhere else you and the man can crash but make sure not to step on any high ranking family toes if you know what i mean