A close friend, 45 year old is dating a 16 year old girl. She is not only young but also acts extremely young

Question

She does not converse with anybody else other than her boyfriend, but SHE won't let this bloke go out anywhere without her. If he is driving the car and looks at another car (as you would do in the traffic), she'd automatically assume that he is looking at another girl/ woman in the car. If he is playing the Lara Croft games on the computer, she'd get very defensive and claim that he fancied the cartoon character in question. She even ripped a page out of the daily paper the other day, so the poor bloke wouldn't see the woman that was on the page. He can't wear sunglasses because she wants to see where he is looking, can't do anything without her going mad and possessive. She seriously lacks confidence and is violent and verbally abusive if she doesn't get her way. May I add before you all start judging this man that he has no pervy predispositions. He has just fallen for this girl, but do u think he should dump her (like he intended the other day), or have endless patience.

To the person below that is having a go at me for saying not to pre-judge this man, I was only informing you of the scenario and the character of the individual in question, as I know him better than you. Whereas for him being a paedophile or a pervert, he does not qualify for jail as she is 16 and of a legal age. Now, morality is a whole different issue, and I have my own thoughts on that, but just want to know what the Brains of Britain and beyond think and feel about the topic. Thank you.

Sally G - no need to get verbally aggressive or wound up - I have not deprived you of your right for an answer, and appreciate your comments (although they are in somewhat high tone)- I wouldn't have posted the question otherwise. Also, you say you don't give advice to the likes described in the topic; you are not actually advising him/ her, I was just curious of the general public feeling about the issue. Like I previously mentioned, I have my own thoughts about the whole issue, but it is interesting how celebrities with huge age gaps don't get threats or suggestions about jail, nor are they classed as pervs, although admittedly they tend to get together at later stages in life and then I suppose maturity and age gap don't seem to have that much of a relevance.

Answer 1

If he is having problems with her now, when she is only sixteen then it will only get worse. The poor girl seems very insecure and he should discuss this with her but with such an age gap it is inevitable that someone will get hurt. This girl is too young and immature to be in a serious relationship, and I presume that he is looking for a serious relationship. The best advice I can give is for them to break up and for her to get help. Best of luck to your friend

Answer 2

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Answer 3

First of all I don't know what the hell your Friend is thinking about.
Child Molester that's what I can label him. The girl is a kid. The girl is physical,but that is not an excuse why he should leave her.
His *** should be in prison getting butt f**ked by other men, to
teach his *** a lesson. You say don't judge the person, anybody
in the right mined is going to say something about this, GET REAL!! I don't understand what Men/Women see in younger
people that's just sick in the F**ken head. And I'm not going to
sorry for anything I said. I put Child molesters in prison, I don't
give them Advice. Hell No!! Thats right you do know him better then we do and your the one whom brought up this subject
And we as a sane person will also have our say so in this you
put us into his love life by asking such question.

Answer 4

What does he expect? He is middle-aged, and she is a child. She is behaving in much the same way as any girl that age would - but whereas another 16/17 year would deal with it (they are all histrionic at that age) at his time of life, he's not inclined to.

Of course he should dump her - it's never going to work. If he had any sense he would never have taken up with her in the first place.

Sorry - I know you don't want anyone to raise the moral issue, but it is rather hard not to. A 16 year old girl and 45 year old man is disgusting.

Answer 5

A mad, violent, possessive, insecure bint is a mad, violent, possessive insecure bint regardless of age.
The trouble with endless patience is that it inevitably ends! Better to dump her now rather than continue doggy co-dependent relationship. He'll get more time to play computer games, and will be able to read an unadulterated newspaper.

Suggest he scours nearby colleges, stalking candidates for future relationship.

Answer 6

Yes I think the paedophile (oh sorry, she's just legal) should dump her. For her good and his.

PS - I think she should be paranoid. He'll probably leave her for a 12 year old given the chance.

PPS - to answer your question more directly, I think it's clear the girl is messed up and needs a father figure, which she must see in this man. He should remember that and be a father figure to her - if she weren't messed up, she wouldn't be with him and he should remember that. It's not right that he's with her, but he could do her the world of good by helping her, not himself.

Answer 7

He is old enough to be her dad, What do her parents think?, or does she see him as a father figure. Whatever he should not be with this child, going by what you say she is clearly very immature. She should be enjoying her youth, not shacked up with a man who is old enough to be a grandad. Is your friend on an ego trip, a steady and lasting relationship is not an option here. Does he have children or an ex wife, if not why not. It also sounds to me that the girl has got major issues., like low self- esteem and self worth.

Answer 8

She sounds like a typical, immature schoolgirl. What a man of his age is dating a "child" of her age for is anyone's guess. He will soon get tired of the lack of freedom & dump her.
Incidentally, do her parents know of this relationship. I only ask because if I had a daughter that age, dating a man of his age, I would want some serious questions answering.

Answer 9

I'm concerned about the fact he is 45 and she is only 16 first and foremost!! I don't even know how there can be any kind of relationship other than the obvious. She is going to be in mature and act that way because she is after all a CHILD!!! He really does need to leave her the hell alone, it's not a matter of judging it's a matter of him being a pedophile!!

Answer 10

Are you in all probability basically finding for somebody to "observe' how sturdy and smart you're so which you would be able to get interest? it form of feels that way. you're able to be able to nicely be smart and "mature" yet you're nevertheless sixteen and could think of and act like a sixteen 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous at cases. At age sixteen you won't be in a position to in all probability have the existence adventure of an older individual yet you're able to nicely be somewhat greater mature than your relatively age. do no longer push ppl away bc you think of you're smarter and greater suitable than they're bc at some point you will finally end up with none pals in any respect. you're able to be able to declare you do no longer care yet you will experience distinctive while it relatively happens. you will lose interest being interior the business employer of older ppl each and every of the time ultimately and could look for pals your individual age. do no longer burn your bridges or you need to be depressing at some point. lots of success! :-)