for my daughter.?

Question

my adoptive daughter has had her first pirod and she wants to know how it works shes 13 isent that a bit late tho and she dosent know wat to where i dont mind tampon or banged wich one is better?

Answer 1

Just guide her through it all,

If you need any resources to help show her what is going on within her body there are plenty about, I would highly recommend the book 'The Period Book' by Karen Gravelle & Jennifer Gravelle and the web site Scarleteen is excellent – aimed at teens but is not patronising and very body positive – http://www.scarleteen.com

Another good web site for you would be gURL who have nice easy to understand guides for example one on female anatomy here - http://www.gurl.com/findout/dwi/pages/0,,626365,00.html – ovulation/menstruation here - http://www.gurl.com/findout/dwi/pages/0,,626288,00.html and fast facts on periods here - http://www.gurl.com/findout/fastfacts/articles/0,,675750,00.html I also think she might like looking at what other girls have said about their periods (slightly negative) here - http://www.gurl.com/react/think/pages/0,,667701,00.html

The age girls are coming up to menarche, and really the age children are reaching puberty full-stop is getting younger due to environmental factors, however 13 years old is really not that old for her to be getting her first period, just make sure she knows she is no less mature than any other girls who may have gotten their first period before her. These things should have been explained to her a long time ago, it is vitally important that she understands at least these basics about menstruation, reproduction and her vagina/vulva.

Other suggested sites;

http://www.myvag.net
http://www.theinsite.org
http://www.teenwire.com
http://www.puberty101.com
http://www.vaginaverite.com
http://www.vaginapagina.com
http://www.menstruation.com.au
http://www.onewoman.com/redspot
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org
http://www.sisterzeus.com/teensection.html
http://www.natracare.com/help_for_schools/learn_about_index.htm

The best thing to do is celebrate with her, try to break down all the negative associations she may have from listening to her friends or other women to help her get over any body-issues or problems she has with her period – in other words all these ideas that are thrown at her about menstruation being gross, dirty, smelly, painful, inconvenient and so on are things you need to get rid of. She needs to know that periods are only as good or as bad as she makes them and that it is important she knows about her periods, the more she knows the better she can deal with them and care for herself so the easier periods are.

When I say celebrate I mean celebrate, this is her becoming a woman, make it into a positive thing, I'm not necessarily talking about some big deal about menstruation itself but perhaps take her out for a day of girly shopping with a red theme, or let her have friends over for a sleep over or whatever else she might want to do.

Of course make note of when her period is so she can remember if she wants to, also so that she can try to figure out as soon as possible when her periods are due. You may want to consider looking into fertility awareness method, she may be young to do this herself but the basics will exaplin a lot of important things to her.

Some more ideas on celebrating menarche;

http://www.debuinc.com
http://www.celebrategirls.com
http://www.birthwithsol.com/firstperiodkit.html

I would highly advise that you have her stick with either pads or free-flow methods, when she is older and feels ready to use internal menstrual options think about getting a menstrual cup – far easier to use than tampons, also a lot safer, cheaper, greener, more convenient, and hygienic.
I would actually say a nice idea would be to get her a first period type kit of cloth menstrual pads, they are a lot more comfortable than commercial pads, as well as healthier, cheaper and greener, these also come in a number of different colours like Lunapads starter kit - http://www.lunapads.com/product.aspx?ProductID=21&deptid=8&PriceCat=2&Lang=EN-US – that come in cat and poodle designs, Hagrags pad sets - http://www.hagrag.bigstep.com/item.jhtml?UCIDs=607354%7C854702&PRID=1476269 – that include scary monsters and good luck symbols, and not forgetting different styles like g-style pads such as Reddy's - http://www.reddyspads.com
Another idea too would be that you can both makes pads together, in the style she wants and with the fabric she wants, WEN have a good pattern here - http://www.wen.org.uk/sanpro/reports/makeyourown_web.pdf

Young women are at higher risk from tampons because their bodies are less developed, the risk of toxic shock is increased because their bodies will not have the antibodies required to protect them from the toxins produced, their labia and vaginal mucus membrane are not developed as adult women so thinner and more prone to irritation from chemicals within tampons, their vaginas may also not be well adapt at dealing with the increased levels of bacteria resulting from tampon use.
This is added to risks of tampons due to their preventing of normal vaginal cleaning, leaving fibres in the vagina, giving bacteria a pores environment to multiply upon, introducing chemicals into the vagina that can irritate as well as affect vaginal pH also could pose general health risks when chemicals are introduced into the body, as well as other risks and issues associated with tampons. Tampons are linked with a lot of health problems from vaginal infections through to toxic shock syndrome making them the most harmful out of over twenty different menstrual options – tampons also are far from body positive [i.e. scented, whiter-than-white and discrete tampons implying to young women menstruation is smelly, dirty or embarrassing].

Tampon risks and issues;

http://www.tssis.com
http://www.spotsite.org
http://www.tamponalert.org.uk
http://www.seac.org/tampons
http://www.wen.org.uk/sanpro
http://www.frontiernet.net/%7Eruthb/Tampons.html
http://www.life.ca/nl/46/maxi.html

Go through all the options with her and explain what would be best for her and why;

Commercial tampons – e.g. Tampax
Organic tampons – e.g. Natracare
Sponge tampons – e.g. Sea Pearls
Soft tampons – e.g. Gynotex
Homemade tampons
Commercial pads – e.g. Always
Organic pads – e.g. Organic essentials
Cloth pads – e.g. Gladrags
Homemade pads
Padded panties – e.g. Lunapanties
Period blankets
Toilet paper
Padettes
Silicone bell-shaped menstrual cups – e.g. Divacup
Rubber bell-shaped menstrual cups – e.g. Keeper
Diaphragms as menstrual cups
Homemade menstrual cups
Softcups
Free-flow
Free-flow layering
Free-flow instinctive

If you don't know these things yourself – time you learn :o)

Answer 2

tampons can be a little much, esp for a first timer (and a virgin) i would try tagalongs. They are disposble underwear. my mother discovered them when i was younger and they were a godsend (helped get rid of a LOT of embarresment). You can also try super thin pads.

I wouldn't try tampons just yet. They can be hard to put in, and you have to remember to take them out, and if they get stuck (you lose the string) it's horrifying. But still, teach her how to use them. Tampax slender tampons are the best.

I would make her a wonderful basket with a variety of items. Then i would take her out the dinner an "celebrate" her becoming a woman. Make a big deal (sparkling juice if you won't believe in a small glass of wine) and really make it a good memory, not an embarressing rite of passage.

Answer 3

I'm confused by the awful spelling! You are a woman- can't you give her your story about when you started.
And thirteen isn't late, I didn't start until I was 15.
Also, I just checked your former questions, and I see that you had the same problem with your niece about two weeks ago. What did you do then? Do the same.
Also, you are 19, and you have an adoptive 13 year old? Is that legal? (I'm just asking because I am curious)

Answer 4

13 is a very normal age to start. As to tampons or pads, a lot depends on a) how heavy her periods are and b) which she finds most comfortable. When I started I was about 11 and found tampons VERY uncomfortable; as I grew older I preferred them to just pads, but I have very heavy periods so in my case it was often both! Now that I'm middle-aged, tampons are uncomfortable again, so I'm back where I started.

Answer 5

No it's not a bit late, how can that possibly be late? I personally found pads more comfortable but i would recommend getting both and letting her discover herself. This is an important time for her, make sure you explain all you can to her, never tell her you think that she came on a bit late, it'll make her feel like there's something wrong with her which there defiantly isn't, and let her make her own choice in what she feels best

Answer 6

congrats to her shes now a little woman!!! its the right time for her all girls start at certain times. i am 31 and i have only used pads--ever!! i have never even tried tampons, i was and am scared of them. but let her try both to see what is more comfortable for her body type. it's great that you are there for her and all also, she will need good support through things like that. i have a 6 and an 8 yr old girls. they already know about all the period stuff, i just have not told them yet about the "S" word yet sex. well good luck.

Answer 7

Thirteen is normal in getting her first period. Just tell her it may come back in a month or it may not. My daughter's first year was very irregular. Just explain things to her.
My daughter started with pads the tampons hurt and she wanted know part of them until she was in high school. I'd start with the pads and then just go from there.

Answer 8

Always with wings would help her a lot for starter. Later she can try tampon out and figure which she prefered. By the way, 13 is not late.

Answer 9

I started on tampons straight away, they take some getting used to but once you use them properly they are much more comfortable than pads, more hygienic too as they blood is not outside the body getting all smelly, its all a personal choice for her to decide, please don't be put of by some of the ridiculous comments on here like 'she will lose her virginity' 'sometimes they get lost when the string breaks' etc! complete rubbish! can you not advise her using your own experience?

Answer 10

One of my daughters didn't start until 13! The doctor said it was quite normal! I would try pads first, and then introduce to tampons later! And make sure you explain to her the risks of using tampons, and that she should change them regular!

Answer 11

Please do not start with tampons. I had older sisters and I had try to use what they did. It bloody hurt I didn't put them in properly. Use pad and give her a few "Nappie bags" for the soiled ones as they smell nice as it is hard to discard at school. Talk to her but she isn't late at all. Enjoy the hormones ha ha ha I am going through my 12 year old now....