I am good guy who is very respectful and good to him and his mom.
2006-11-06 06:36:44 · 18 answers · asked by ciuajj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As long as you are good to her and her son, then her son should want his mom to be happy. My son never gave me a hard time when I was dating other guys, but I never brought anyone home until I met the man I would up marrying. Did his mom bring home a lot of dates to meet her son? That may be part of the problem.
2006-11-06 06:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I was once a single mom and my son didn't want anyone to come into my life, but believe it or not, children eventually adjust. This mother should not give her son the upper hand, especially if you are a nice, respectful person. Children do not like change because we are creatures of habit. He wants everything to remain the same and you are causing him threat that things may change. Maybe she should sit you and him down together and reassure the child that everything will be fine and that you both care for him and that you are not trying to take his mother away, your just trying to get to know both of them and care very much for him as you do his mother. Good luck, I sure hope it works out for you.
2006-11-06 06:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, why do you still want to be there?
i personally would only go out with mom when he wasnt there anyway, and i wouldnt even meet him until mom and i knew what direction the r-ship was heading.
every person owes respect to those around them, if her child wont do that for you and she allows it, its only going to get worse, do yourself a favor and find a woman right now thats interested in putting you on the same priority level as the rest of her family so you can raise the family together.
every r-ship ive ever been in where the woman had children i made it known right from the beginning that i wasnt putting up with any nonsense, not by giving the mom a speech, but by taking action
take the liberty and do what you think is right. make sure the mom and child know that if there is an attitude problem you'll correct it immediately. if for no other reason, you do it to teach the child respect. what woman wants a man who wont do right by a child anyway.
my 1st time i went to the store with my gf and her kids, the youngest one was having a fit, i turned around and took away his pop he was holding and threw it away. he lost it completely and i told her to whoop his *** - which she didnt.
but the first time she left me alone with him he threw a fit because i didnt cook what he wanted, and i took the liberty... she was irate no question, but she's more than happy now because he doesnt throw fits anymore. and is a great student who is happy, funny and respectful.
she almost left when i intially whooped his ***, but i did it because he needed it and i was focused on his good more than kissing her ***. - kids know the difference and hate *** kissers btw
her oldest son was failing out of every class until i took the liberty and grounded him, then whooped his *** for lying about his progress report and eventualy took away all his free time after a year or so of failed consequences.
he went from all f's and incomplete to a's , b's and the occasional c.
neither child even wants to see their loser father anymore. and even though it was tough to get mom on the same page, she came around when she realized that her kids know the difference between a good guy, and someone being nice all the time because he's trying to hook up with mom.
she was initially opposed to the *** whoopins, groundings, yard work and pretty much still sometimes is but... it's my house too and they are going to have respect for me whether she likes it or not.
funny thing is that the kids like the discipline! sounds stupid i know, but over the long run they realize that you're just trying to make a good life for them.
if mom's too selfish, and insists that you just sit there and shut up while her kid runs amuck- forget her *** anyway and move on and save yourself the pain of a young adult who's destined to be a pain in your ***
2006-11-06 07:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by THEMENACE47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily...I'm writing from the kids perspective. I didn't like my mom's boyfriend but she married him anyway. He's a great guy. It just took me a couple a years to realize i was jealous of him and the attention that was getting taken away from me and my siblings. I got over it and realized that he treats my mom and us kids good and he makes her happy.
If she is divorced, the child may still think that his parents will get back together. If she's widowed (like my mother) her son might feel like she is trying to replace his father.
Tell her this and let her and her son have a heart to heart talk about this.
2006-11-06 06:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by joymroach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on his age and how recent the divorce was. If he's really young than no she shouldn't listen to him. She should calmly explain to him about what she's doing and that you are not out to replace his father. If its been a recent split up and he's older she might want to listen for a little longer. Maybe he's just not ready to see his mom moving on because he's not ready to move on.
2006-11-06 06:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just don't want to think anyone is going to replace his dad or he might still think his mom and dad are going to get back together...give it time and help him realize that you are not going to take the place of his father! It will work out!
2006-11-06 06:39:20 · answer #6 · answered by --Br0oklYn-- 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you shouldnt want to be there either. I have been the son a few times. I would make there life hell until they left. Of course then again I could have used a good butt whoopin
2006-11-06 06:38:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is up to her, it all hinges on how much she cares for you.
Now does he not want her to date YOU or ANYONE?
Talk to her, see how she feels, I am sure this is rough on her. but the decision is really hers to make. She's in a tough position
2006-11-06 06:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by Lil Jello 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Find out what the boy's problem is and work on that. It might not be you but any man that is dating his mom, and that is not fair to her.
2006-11-06 06:39:28 · answer #9 · answered by tbonz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! How old is the son? They usually come around once they see your true intentions...which I hope are good!
2006-11-06 06:43:00 · answer #10 · answered by lisasal1229 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋