A question for all the mothers on Yahoo Answers?

Question

OK, I've been reading and answering alot of questions on here. I've noticed that the pregnancy section is filled with alot of judgment and rudeness. why are you all judging people for getting their kids circumcised? for breast feeding, not breast feeding? for whatever? why do some of you think you know everything about children? just because you have a couple doesn't make you pediatricians!!! people are on here for advice, not to be ridiculed for their choices. it's like a MOMMY WAR. "I'm a better mother than you!!!!!!" it's kind of ridiculous. so i guess my question is, why so judgmental? you must realize that you guys don't know everything.

Answer 1

I totally agree. It's been crazy around here. Yesterday, someone asked a formula question that was answered by some with "breastmilk is best." The question wasn't about breastfeeding. It was about formula. I come to yahoo answers for support, not judgement. I'm with you - we should stop judging each other.

Answer 2

Cause every mom likes to think shes the best mom ever. every mom knows her own child and sometimes will judge other mothers based on her child. No reason to be judgemental. and wouldnt it be nice if we did know everything? then there would be no surprizes left in life. IVe asked and answered several questions and i just brush off the rude judgemental ones. most people are very helpful and give good advice. Each mother makes decisions on what she feels is right for her child and sometimes can get a little carried away. But your question is almost an attack on people. seems your being almost as rude as some of the people your complaining about.

Answer 3

I agree 100%. I'd have to say that some people feel being a mom is one of the most competitive jobs out there unfortunately. People want to compete with everything from the school they choose to the diapers they use to the names they pick to who's kid walks first. It's sad that some people feel the need to compare. If you are a parent, and YOU feel you are doing what is best for YOUR child, don't tell me how to raise mine. No two parents are alike-so why can't we support each other and not judge each other? Sure some studies say breast feeding is best, but guess what? I bottle fed my first child, she's the picture of health. I breast fed my second and he had problems from go. I agree, it is like a mommy war (and daddy war when the boys get into sports) and it's sad.

Answer 4

I frequent this section because I am having my first child and its a great place to find information. I honestly don't see what you are talking about. All I see is women giving their experience and knowledge to the masses.
The only judgment I have ever seen and given was to teenage girls who think that having a baby is an answer to a problem. I also have seen judgment passed on the females who already have kids, but don't know what to do with the delinquent father. I.E. "He won't pay child support.", "Why doesn't he come around anymore?" These are things that are of a legal nature and can be sorted out easily.
To put it bluntly, look at the questions asked. Most of them are looked at as, "Why are you so naive or stupid to ask this? You should know this already!!" Its simple and its harsh, but why should we hold their hands and coddle them when they are now in a situation where they can't be kids anymore? Its time to grow up and see that the world as a whole doesn't care about you, its a hard place and you need to learn how to fend for yourself. There are hundreds of people who will want to help you out, but not do it for you. Stop whining and deal. If you need help with tricks and ideas on how to handle a situation then great, ask! But don't expect people to tell you how you got pregnant, and do expect people to tell you why having a baby at 15 is a bad idea.
This is a place to share experiances, and if a woman or a man feels that what the person needs is a swift kick in the butt with a dose of reality, then who are YOU to judge if thats wrong or not?

Answer 5

You are so right.I was in a spanking post and got 3 thumbs down because I said I dont spank and had my 23 month old toliet trained at 22 months without spanking and had it all done in a little over 2 weeks.I thought I did good and I thought my lil one done excellent but to those who spank I done wrong for not hitting him to make him use the toliet.I have 6 boys,never will be a perfect mom and I will never judge no other mother except for the ones who says their kids know better then to misbehave because they get smacked everytime they do wrong.I just believe that if the smacking done any good then the child would not be doing wrong still.To me smacking a child to make them behave is not needed.I have 6 boys that behave but are not angels either.I dont play the mommy war.Just proud of my parental skills and if others are proud of theirselfs then thats good.But people do need to stop passing judgement on moms and stop being so rude.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

great question, here is my answer on why i get judgmental on here.....the only time i am judgmental is when a mother asks "why is child wanting attention" or other stupid things of that nature.....my son was a complete surprise that i have been raising alone since birth, never once did i think i was spoiling him when i was holding him, never did i get angry because he had colic, never did i despise my child for any reason!! some of these women need to acknowledge that motherhood is a job with heavy and i mean heavy responsibility. i don't think i know everything cuz if i did i sure wouldn't be on here also asking questions i just think some of these women need a good talking to about what a child is and needs.

Answer 8

I agree i have been getting very rude comments some have nothing to do with my question. A couple of days ago i asked a question about a fever and i got called an idiot just trying to see what other mothers have done i totally agree with you

Answer 9

I found a lot of this sort of behavior, believe it or not, at support groups and worst of all from lactation nurses. I agree with what you are saying, so many mom out there are very competitive to be smartest and best- like it's a competition, right? And the ones who agree with each other seem to form little cliques.
So, Kudos to you for speaking up. We need to support each other not cut one another down down for formula feeding or not circumcising, or whether or not to use a pacifier.

Answer 10

I have found that some people do not read the question in total and therefore the answer is at times irrelevant to the question.

You must also take into account those who are not from English speaking countries, they are doing their best to answer in the best English that they know. Some may even be practising their English skills.

I am sure that most of those who answer questions are doing it in good faith and don't realise they are being judgemental.

I also realise their are people who don't care just so long as they get their 2 points, those are very easy to ignore.

This happens with a lot of questions not only for this category.

The person asking the question must surely realise that the answers are not from specialist but from mothers who are sharing their experiences and what works for one doesn't necessary work for others.

I think the idea is to pick and choose the answers you like and work with them.

Don't be so hard on those who give legitimate answers...........they ....after all did give you the time and gave some sort of answer maybe not one that you liked but they put in some effort.

Anything serious should of course be seen by a specialist.

Answer 11

I do not like to judge people just give them advice for the things that I have been through, they should no if it is a medical problem that they will follow up with there doctor but as far as judging it is not my place, just giving advice as I would discusss with my girlfriends.